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It Takes One To Catch One

Introduction

The years have rolled by so fast.  They seem to go faster as I grow older.  I live alone now in a small mountain cabin set deep in the forest.  I didn't always live here. I once lived with my wife and seven children.  I was there for them as they grew to adults, married and had their own children.  It was a good life, happy and content.  That applies to all the years before the year 1960 and after the year 1965.  These are the years this story is about.  I was 29 years old in 1960 when the events I am about to tell you started.  Events that today still live vividly in my mind.  Why, you ask, now forty years later is it so important to write?  I have held this dark secret in my heart all these years, of a lost love and infidelity, while I was a private detective in a large eastern state.  The years I have left must be devoted to sharing with the world the story of a wonderful love with a beautiful young woman.  The story starts in the late spring of 1960 and continues to it's disastrous conclusion in 1965.  I started to write this in 1997. And now, here it is now 2001 and I write my 11th draft, trying to remember every small detail, to be sure all the names and places are changed to protect the identity of all, including myself.  Most of them are dead now but she still is alive.  As you read on, please remember this is not a work of fiction, it is all true.  I lived it myself.

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IT TAKES ONE TO CATCH ONE

BY
KEVIN SEAN KELLY

I arose from my desk at work.  It was a nice office to work in, the only air conditioned one in this east coast city.  The days were scorching hot and the nights not much cooler.  Working in the city was considered the best possible employment.  There were no suburbs to this city, the farm lands and mountains started as soon as the city ended.  I worked in this office with three other men, taking calls from field engineers that needed help in repairing medical X-Ray equipment.  Tom worked in the same building on the 2nd floor.  Neither of us knew each other until today.  The meeting was to change my life forever, sending me down a path that almost cost me my life.  I was walking out as I usually do to have lunch at the corner Deli.  There were about ten of us approaching the front door when through the door, I saw a tall dignified man obviously of Italian decent, standing on the sidewalk with an umbrella up and over his head.  He was wearing a very expensive looking suit.  I thought to myself, this must be some kind of excentric for I have never seen a man with an umbrella up when it wasn't raining.  I hesitated for a moment outside the door, trying to figure out what he was up to.  The others went on, leaving me there alone.  I must have been obvious to him as I stood there wondering because he walked over to me and introduced himself.  His voice was deep and his language and diction indicated that I was talking to a well-educated man.  He seemed slightly older than me, maybe in his early thirties.  His first comment was, "Miserable damn sun, I hate it".  He continued, "My name is Tom.   I work on the 2nd floor".  He extended his hand and we shook hands.  I said nothing except "my name is Kevin".  This short introduction started a chain of events in my life that I carry in my heart to this very day.  Every time I hear a song called, "I Love How You Love Me" or smell a fragrance called "Jean Nate~", a deep sorrow engulfs me.  I close my eyes and try to remember her, but the images get dimmer and dimmer as the years roll by.

"You going to lunch," he asked.  I replied, "yes thought I'd grab a bite at the corner Deli.  He chuckled and said, "you come with me and I'll show you how the other half lives."  I thought what have I got to loose, "Okay, where we going?" I said.  "I eat at the hotel and so should you.  That deli stuff will kill you," he replied.  "By the way you'll have to run back up and get your jacket.   They require one there".  I did and we walked the three blocks to the Hotel.  I had lived in this city for over five years and had never been inside the hotel.  I always thought it was way out of my price range.  As we entered, Tom lowered his umbrella and handed it to the doorman who greeted him with great respect.  Tom introduced me as his friend and asked him to take good care of me the next time he sees me.  I nodded as I passed him and he touched the visor of his hat with his right hand, like a salute.  As we entered, I was impressed with the marble and silver walls and crystal chandeliers.  The dining room was opulent and busy.  There were three couples waiting behind the velvet covered rope.  The fellow in charge of the rope opened it and admitted the first couple.  He glanced up and saw Tom and I standing at the end of the line.  With a motion of his hand and a twist of his head he signaled for us to come to the front of the line.  As we approached, he opened the rope and said, "Good afternoon Mr. Palermo, your table is ready" and we were seated at once by the lady carrying the menus.  As we passed waiters, they all nodded a greeting to Tom.  People at tables waved a greeting.  Tom walked on nodding and waving.  I played it cool and pretended that I had done this many times before, all the time thinking, "who the hell is this guy?"  Before the next four years were finished, I would have done this many times myself.

During lunch, I learned that Tom worked for a national printing company and was their salesman in the area.  I came right out and asked him how a "salesman" can afford $200 suits and eat lunches that cost $25.  He looked at me with a sly smile on his face and said, "I have a nighttime job, that pays twice what I earn in my daytime job." No more information followed and I was left to sip my coffee and stare over at him like a child waiting for permission to speak.  We ate a fine lunch and Tom ordered a brandy for himself and one for me.  Up until this point in my life, the only alcoholic drink I had was at weddings or Thanksgiving and then, it was only wine.  This was my first taste of hard liquor.  I sipped at it as Tom did and we chatted about various things.  I detected in him a quality I had never seen in another human being.  He seemed to be so in control of his life, so content and so respected.   I really didn't know what to make of him.  He surely was a one-of-a-kind man.  I thought at that moment that "I would give the world to be like him".  He ordered another brandy for the both of us.  I started to say I don't think I want another but he anticipated my objection and with a open palm toward me as a policeman signaling stop and a wink of his right eye, I realized another brandy was coming whether I wanted it or not.  This time we chatted about the comparative attributes of the rear-end of the waitresses.  I was feeling the brandy, a warm and soothing feeling.  I must admit I liked the feeling.  I never was much at chatting about nothing, but now, I was talking better than I ever did, I thought.

When we finished, I offered to pay for my half but he refused, pulling out a big roll of bills and *peeling off some twenties and plopping them down on the check.*  I saw the check when it came, and the amount he left on top of it so far exceeded the amount due, I was astounded.  As we left, *the head waiter got a $10 and the doorman got a $5* as he handed Tom his umbrella.  Now I understood all the bowing and nodding and waving.  This guy was a big spender.  We parted company at the entrance and exchanged calling cards.  He headed back to the office and I headed home.  I was in no condition to go back to work.  **(This will be referred to at the end of the novel.)

I arrived home at about 1:30 p.m. and was greeted by my wife, Mary with the most obvious statement, "What are you doing home this time of day?"   Mary, Mary, my dear wife, a product of a Roman Catholic Parochial education.  She had been skipped twice in grammar school and finished high school at the young age of 16.  Being much younger than her classmates all through high school, she had very few serious encounters with boys.  She was the youngest of six children with three brothers and two sisters.  During her formative years, all her brothers were away serving in the Armed services during World War II.  Her father had died when she was only three and this had a devastating effect on her.  She was shy and withdrawn.  Her mother moved the whole family back to her original home town after the death of her husband and took employment as a domestic in the home of a very rich family.  The people provided a home for her and the children on the estate.  It was a converted barn and had the silo still attached.  I suspect this had a profound effect on how she related to me.  She was, to say the least, very withdrawn and quiet.  I can never remember her saying, "I love You", in all the years that we were married.  Why she is still my wife today will be revealed later.

When she asked why I was home so early, I lied and said, "I think I ate something at lunch that didn't agree with me".  I quickly retired to my T.V. room in the basement.  I pretended to be working but really was waiting for the smell on my breath to go away.  Why didn't she notice it when she kissed me hello.  The answer is simple and in her background-- She never Did!  If a kiss or a hug was in order, it was always I that initialed it.  Sex was for the procreation of children or if I requested it.  Mary was a red head with freckles and neither smoked or drank.  She had no outside interests that did not involve our three little girls or the Church.  There were times when the Company would have meetings at beautiful resorts and all the men would bring their wives.  She never would go with me, always stating that she didn't care to be around people that drank.  The end result was that I always went to these events alone.  As the years of our marriage rolled by, I found myself quite alone.  To compensate, I filled my free time hunting, fishing, scouting and camping.  I always loved the forest and mountains.  She did keep a wonderful home and was a marvelous cook.  When we had one of the bosses over for dinner they always congratulated me on what a wonderful home and wife I had.  She was a credit to any man working his way up in the business world.  She could carry on a conversation on almost any subject.  I was proud she allowed me to marry her and was resigned to the problems with my life as a married man with three children.  Thanks to the chance meeting with Tom, all this was soon to change.

I was still in the basement when she called down at 5:30 that supper was on the table.  After supper, I followed my usual routine and retired to the T.V. room in the basement and smoked my pipe and watched the news.  Mary never came down to the basement claiming the smoke from my pipe irritated her eyes.  I didn't see her again till bedtime.  We had a double bed and she was always sleeping as I silently crept into my side.  This was my life day after day and to me it was what it had to be.

It was the following Saturday afternoon when I was mowing my small lawn, when Mary came out to tell me there was a guy on the phone named Tom.  I remembered at once who he was and rushed in to see what he wanted, "Hi Kevin, what you doing tonight?" he asked.  I replied, "Just watching television as usual."  He went on to say that he had some friends he wanted me to meet.  I was directed to meet him at a small roadside Pub called The Embers on the outskirts of the city at 11 o'clock tonight.  I told Mary the truth about where I was going.  It would be the last truthful thing about my life I told her for four years.

The Embers was a very quiet, remote and dimly lit place.  A small, dark pub patronized by a segment of the population that prides itself on their privacy.  The place had no tables, as such, only booths.  The entrance opened into a room with a small, 10 person bar on one wall and three booths on the other.  It was very hard to see as I entered since the entire place was lit with Chianti bottles on each table and on the bar with candles in them.  Tom was there at the bar waiting and we went to an area of the pub called the "Private Room."  This room also had no lights and only candles on each table.  It was a large room with booths on all four walls.  A large juke box was positioned in the center of the far wall.  The remaining area was a dance floor.  A silver ball hung from the ceiling in the center of the dance floor.  As it rotated slowly, arrows of silver light danced around the room.  We made small talk as he led me into the back room.  When we arrived at the booth he was in, there was a strikingly beautiful lady sitting there.  I was introduced to her and joined them in the booth.  As the night went on, I learned that she was Tom's mistress and that Tom lived with her.  She was about 40 years old and divorced.  She was a free soul and loved to drink bourbon and water and dance to the juke box with or without a partner.  She dressed well and had a refinement about her that indicated a life filled with the better things in life.  On the other hand, she could handle herself very well.  As we were sitting in the booth that night, one of the patrons from the front room came in and asked her to dance with him.  She politely declined his request, but he persisted.  At one point, he took her arm and was pulling her out of the booth to the dance floor.  I thought I should say something but Tom motioned for me to stay quiet.  She stood, pushed him hard in the center of his chest, sending him back a step.  Than in a voice filled with a hissing threat, told him that unless he wants her to kick him in the balls right now, he better start back for the front room.  Tom just smiled and shook his head in a knowing manner.  With a "Sorry Lady" he retreated back to the little bar in the front room.  Both Tom and Astra seemed to like me, and I was going crazy to find out more about this guy's life.  No information was forthcoming but they told me to come back here next Saturday so they could get to know me better and I could have some fun.  I did, but never told Mary where I was going and as I expected, she never asked.  I started going every Saturday night and joined them in some wonderful times.  After a few weeks, I had no problem drinking hard liquor and and loving the feeling it gave me.  Astra and Tom talked freely in front of me about their private life and I was starting to learn slightly more about their nighttime work.  I got the feeling that I was intruding in their lives and didn't belong here.  When I mentioned this to them, they both assured me that was not the case and they both stated most emphatically that my problem was that I was alone too much and what I needed was a girl friend.  I replied at once that that was out of the question.  "I am a married man."  When I said that, they both burst into laughter and Astra said, "Boy, the angels broke the mold after God made you."  After the glee left them, there was a few moments of uncomfortable silence.  Astra turned to Tom and said, "Do you think he would like Nina?"  Tom Replied, "If he don't than there is something seriously wrong with him!"

A few weeks passed before I was to meet Nina.  I was at the pub each and every Saturday night and sometimes week nights having the time of my life.  The people here are from another walk of life than what I was accustomed to.  They were farmers, truck drivers, cops, firemen and out and out con men.  Those people patronizing the Private Room were Tom, Astra, and the men and women that they worked with on their nighttime job.  This was their hang out and by now, I had been accepted and trusted by all of them.  There were times when I was there and it was almost closing time when Tom and Astra arrived with a large group of friends.  They had been out working their nighttime job.  This seemed to present no problem to Mr. Cantalano, the owner.  He simply emptied the pub at closing time, locked up and turned off the outside lights.  A bartender always stayed and we often partied till 6 or 7 in the morning.  I often went to work directly from the pub, if it was a week day.  I had many a hang over but it never affected my work.  Did Mary ask or even care where I had been all night?   The answer is no.  Looking back now, I still don't know if it was a case of blind trust or she just didn't want to know.

It was a Saturday, late in the fall that I first met Nina. We were sitting in our booth in the private room, with another couple that Tom and Astra worked with. I was sitting at the end of the booth in a chair when a young lady came in and walked over to our booth.  She stood to my right and Tom was sitting to my left.  I paid no attention to her since people coming in and greeting Tom was a very common occurrence.   A large pizza had just been placed in the center of the table.  I, as well as the others, were reaching for the piece they wanted.  Tom squeezed my arm and I looked at him.  He looked up at the girl and back at me and said,"Kevin, this is Nina, she came here to meet you".  I turned to see who he was talking about and could not believe what I was looking at.  The pizza dropped from my hand back on to the tray.  Standing and looking down at me was the most beautiful young girl I had ever seen in my life.  She looked to be about 20 years old, a rather tall girl, about five foot eight, long blond hair and light green eyes.  What struck me at first was how her eyebrows outlined and enhanced her eyes.  They were as blond as her hair, and I knew at once that I was looking at a truly blond-haired woman.  When she smiled, her eyes smiled with her.  There was not a drop of makeup on her face, not even lipstick.  She needed none.  Her face glowed with youth, beauty and health.   She was dressed in blue jeans, a white turtle neck sweater and white sneakers.   The turtle neck sweater fell loosely over her body, and looking up as I was, I could see that she was very well endowed.  Her hair was tied back into a pony tail and she wore no jewelry of any kind.  She was chatting with Tom as I gazed up at her and I caught the whiff of a most enchanting light perfume.  It was not a scent I had ever encountered before, not a fragrance but a smell that one would have as they stepped out of the shower.  Her body looked strong and athletic, not the type you see in a model.  It is hard to explain what set her apart from all the very pretty girls I had seen to this time in my life.  I can tell you though, that if any man was walking down the street and she passed in a crowd, she would be noticed and admired.

If there was ever a case of love at first sight, I was a text book case of it.  My heart was pounding and I hardly could breath, I was spellbound.  I never in my life had a feeling like this, even when I met my wife nor in all the years I had been married to her.  I just sat there staring up at her. Tom introduced her to me and she leaned down and kissed me on the cheek and I guess my face flushed because everyone at the table giggled.  I remember to this day, this moment in my life, even to the song that was playing on the juke box at that very moment, "I Love How You Love Me." (Click to
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I must have been embarrassed because I suddenly realized that I should have stood when Tom introduced her to me but was so enchanted with her that it never entered my mind.  I jumped up overturning my chair.  I set it up and offered it to her but she refused, telling me to sit down and calm down.  She pulled up a chair from a nearby booth and sat beside me. The fact that she told me to calm down did not register with me until weeks later.  She must have known that very moment that she was looking at a man that was in love with her.

As we talked, ate and drank that night, I learned for the first time, the thing I had been dying to know.  What was the nighttime job?  It seems they all were operatives for a detective agency.  Tom and Astra were partners, Nina's partner recently left the agency to become a State Trooper.  They were all assigned to the adultery section and their job was to follow the couple to their NEST or the place they go to make love.  Once they are sure that this is the place, their job was over and the agency would place it under surveillance.  Most of the time, they were the team that did the surveillance.  When the couple arrived and the lights went out, a raiding team, called there by them, would execute a warrant issued by a local Justice of the Peace and signed by the wife or husband who was the innocent party.  With the help of a hired local constable, they would arrest the married man or woman they were paid to follow and charge them with the crime of adultery, taking them at once to the Justice of the Peace for a bail hearing.  If they could post the $200 bail, they were set free.  Most of the time, the bail was more than they could raise at that moment and they were taken to the county jail on the orders of the Justice of the Peace.  This entire process had nothing to do with the law.  It was a method used by the injured party in the marriage to gain leverage in the divorce.  Most of the time, the spouse that was arrested would agree to turn over the house, the cars, the children and almost anything else in return for having the charges dropped.  The trailing team as they were called, were experts in following and locating the NEST.  They were paid $500 a case and could do two and sometimes three in one week.  They were given an agency car that was radio equipped.  Tom and Astra were a team.  Nina was now working missing person cases until a new partner could be hired and trained.

Sitting there at that table that night with her next to me and listening to the stories of what they were doing, smelling her perfume and listening to the soft music, started me thinking that if I played my cards right I could be with this gorgeous creature.  Maybe it was the whiskey, maybe it was the atmosphere, I didn't know.  I wanted to have her, to hold her and to make love to her.  It was almost more than any man could endure.  I was torn by my obligations to my family and wife and what my body was screaming at me to do.  Fate dealt me the hand I was to play for the next four years.  As I look back now, so many years later, they still seem to be the happiest four years that I can remember.

I was not doing very well at work after the meeting with Nina.  I just couldn't get her out of my mind.  The smell of her lingered in my mind.  I dreamed of her at night.  I sat in my car outside the telephone company during my lunch hour hoping just to get a glimpse of her going or coming back from lunch.  She started working here right out of high school   and also started working for the agency soon after.  Her father was the Chief of Police and was a strict disciplinarian.  Nina moved out and got an apartment of her own when she graduated from high school and was hired by the phone company.  She was never abused or mistreated by her parents but this was the early sixties, when young people wanted to have their independence.  She had an older married sister living in town and an older brother living in Vermont.  Mr Willoby, the owner of the detective agency was only too happy to have the daughter of the Chief as one of his operatives.   

My boss was on my case because I was making a lot of mistakes and claimed it was all because I was not concentrating on what I was doing and was off on cloud 9 most of the time.  He couldn't figure out what had happened to the "best diagnostic technician ever to come out of school."  I had to do something to get my mind back on my job.  It was a good job and before I met Nina, I was one of the best in the business at it.  During my time as a New York State Trooper, the job I took right out of college, the children started to arrive.  I realized that I could never make enough money to provide a good life for my family as a trooper.  It was a sad decision, for in all my life, that is the job I always wanted, to be a trooper.  As a small boy, I always admired "John The Cop," the policeman that was always there to cross us on our way to and from St.  Barnabas grammar school.  I was sure that when I grew up, I would become a policeman like him.  But now I was married, with one daughter and when Mary told me that another was on the way, the handwriting was on the wall.  I had to make my first decision in my life that did not involve me alone.  I realized that I was going to have a very large family.  There was no way to avoid it.  Mary, with her strict Catholic upbringing would not even discuss the use of any birth control method.  I was also a Catholic but was more inclined to fudge the issue and if my parents didn't know, birth control was okay with me.  The decision had to be made.  Do I continue as a trooper as the children arrive, hoping that all will work itself out or face the fact that I had made my bed and now had to lie in it.  With Mary's strong encouragement, I decided to seek employment in some large industry.  I kept my job as a trooper and placed an add in the local paper that stated the facts as I saw them.  It read, "College Graduate, presently a New York State Trooper, seeks employment in industry to support his growing family."  I was deluged with replies, over 20 of them.  Since I didn't want to have to move the family, I selected the few that were national companies with offices in the town I presently lived in.  I arranged interviews at about 4 p.m. to coincide with my days off from the troopers.  On the second interview, the man read my application and saw that my degree was in Animal Husbandry.  He asked if I was able to tell him the difference between an "AC" and "DC" electric current.  I had to admit that I didn't have the foggiest idea.  This reply caused him to rise up and walk to me sitting in the chair, shake my hand and ask, "when can you start?" I was shocked and asked, "What's the job about?"  His reply was, "we were seeking a young man with a college degree, honest and with integrity, that we can send to our training school and teach him how to repair our X-Ray equipment.  You fit the bill perfectly.  "You have a college degree and you have integrity or otherwise you would not now be a Trooper.  Lastly, your answer to my question,  knowing it might result in not getting the job, tells me you tell the truth at once."  I took the job, gave my notice of resignation to the troopers, and two weeks later, was packing a bag for an extended stay in Ohio.  They started out with basic electrical theory and progressed, until seven weeks later, diploma in hand, I was on my way back home.

I spent the next six months following a service man around watching and learning.  Than to my surprise, off I went to the boondocks in northern Pennsylvania.  The service man here was about to retire and I was his replacement.  The years went by quickly, I learned the trade, and got very good at it.  So good, that I now sat at a desk receiving phone calls from field technicians asking for help in solving a tough breakdown.

Now since I met Nina, I am not thinking straight, making wrong decisions of where the technicians should look next.  This is bad since it is imperative that these diagnostic machines in hospitals be brought back online fast.  The boss noticed the change in me and that made him inquire what was wrong with me.  I made my second decision.

I went downstairs and spoke to Tom.  I told him how hooked I was on Nina and could he help me get a job at the agency.  I told him I believe I can qualify since I am a former New York State Trooper.  Nina still had not accepted a new partner and I had to move fast.  I deluded myself into thinking this would be enough, just to be near her would be enough.

An interview with Mr.  Willoby was arranged by Tom and with his strong recommendation, I was hired and went into a 4-week training period.  I met Nina during this time and every time I saw her, my heart leaped and pounded.  She smiled but was busy.  I trained from 9 o'clock at night until 12:30 a.m. each morning and earned $20 a night.  None of this interfered with my daytime job.  After this training, I was assigned to a car with a 62-year-old female operative named LENA.  They called her "Lena the Hyena" at the office.  Poor Lena, ugly as sin, no one would ever take her for a private detective  but boy was she good.  I learned more from her in a week than I learned in the entire training period.  I mentioned to Lena that I really liked Nina and could she help me get assigned to a car with her?  Her comments still echo in my mind.  Had I listened then, I would not be writing this today.  "Your married, right Sunny?"  She called everyone "Sunny."  I admitted that I was.  Her next comment was, "You sure you want to go down that road Sunny?"  I could not reply.  I only nodded my head yes.  She went to Willoby and told him that she thought that I was to young to ride with her and that it didn't look natural and she thought it would be a good idea to get Nina back to work and put me in her car. {Thank you Lena, you're gone now but I will thank you for that favor forever.}

Nina was called in and asked if she would be interested in going back to the adultery trailing group.  She responded that she didn't have a partner yet.  Willoby said that there is a new guy named Kevin that was trained and ready to go.  Smart-Ass Nina asks him, "What's he look like?" Willoby, not knowing that she already knows me, gives her a full run down."  He is a blond haired, blue-eyed man in his late 20's, about 6' tall.  He is married with three small children." {Thank you Mrs. Jones, Mr Willoby's secretary}.

Nina accepted me.  The next night I was driving and she was sitting next to me.  To make it look natural, the man drives and the lady sits close to him.  Believe me this, I can put up with.

We worked together for about six weeks.  As the weeks went by she kept sitting closer and closer and many times I glanced over at her and she was staring at me.  This puzzled me, Why?? One night after we had located a nest the week before, and were sitting in the car in front of the motel to be sure they arrived and we could report it to the agency, Nina said, "Listen Kevin, if they show up at 9 o'clock like before, our job is finished for the night.  How would you like to come up to my place?  I made a leg of lamb."  I said "sure." I could feel the blood rush into my face and the pounding in my chest started.  I knew what was going to happen, or rather I thought I knew what was going to happen, but at this point, I was too far gone to do anything about it.  Sure enough, at 9 o'clock sharp, they checked into the motel.  I went to the phone and called the agency and reported, "The birds are in the nest", Flamingo Motel, room 17".  We had to wait for the raiding team to arrive and keep our eye on room 17.  When they arrived, I told them that the are still in there and that the lights went out about 10 minutes ago.  We left at once for Nina's apartment.  She poured me a glass of a chilled white wine and went into the bedroom.  When she returned, the blue jeans and sweater were gone and she was dressed in a dress.  Her pony tail was gone and her hair flowed freely behind her shoulders.  GOD I thought, "She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

She had made a fine dinner of leg of lamb with vegetables, little roasted potatoes and white wine.  She had even baked a dark chocolate cake.  I had only told two people what my favorite dinner was.  It was Tom and Astra during a conversation we had over lunch at the hotel.  Yet here it was on Nina's table, right down to the chocolate cake.

After dinner, we went into the living room and Nina sat on the couch.  I didn't want to appear to be to forward so I sat in the chair.  I was nervous as hell thinking how should I act, what should I say if this goes as I think it is going to go.  We continued to drink the white wine and watch television, making small talk for about an hour.  I could not get up the courage to make any kind of move, fearing I may have read this whole thing the wrong way.  Nina excused herself and went into the bedroom.  When she came back she didn't return to the couch.  She came right over to me and sat on my lap, she hugged me hard than tilted my head back and kissed me right on the lips.  That light perfume filled the air again, It made her smell so clean.  She hadn't been wearing it before she went into the bedroom.  The hormones flashed and I picked her up in my arms and carried her into the bedroom.  We quickly stripped each other naked, neither of us uttering a word, and I started to do the things I had learned to do with Mary, the only other woman I had ever taken to bed.  This was not to be, Nina took complete control and did things to me that Mary would sock me in the nose for even asking to be done.  Now I come to the part that I dreaded for the longest time.  I actually could not write it.  I beat around the bush with nice words.  It wasn't till I had this manuscript edited that I was told, "You are failing to depict this event as it happened.  This event sets the basis for your entire novel.  Have the courage to write it as it actually happened"(QUOTE EDITOR).  I wrote back, "I don't want this to be a dirty book".  She called me and this is what she said that made me do as she said.  " This is not a children's book. This is 2001.  Write what happened in every detail." I will try to relate what happened to me this night in as a refined manner as I can but let me say it impressed me so well, that to this day I can't forget it.  The event that follows is in every detail, true.  It took 4 months to get it on paper.

Naked as jay birds we stood looking at each other, Both of us breathing very fast.  I reached out my arm to pull her toward me, and she fell into them, and we kissed so tenderly.  I had to bend away slightly, due to the condition I was in.  She pushed right up against me, and we both sort of fell slowly sideways onto the bed.  She released her grip on me and rolled on to her back.  Her eyes closed and for the first time a word was spoken.  She said in a soft voice, "you had me worried there for a while Kevin".  I rolled on top of her.  Both of us were sideways on the bed.  Her legs surrounded me and she locked her feet behind me.  It didn't take me long to finish, as I have never been so aroused in all my life.  She reacted to every motion of my body, moaning, moving sideways and up and down, hugging and kissing me.  Mary never reacted this way to me.  She sort of just let me do it to her.

Nina was so passionate,-loving, and eager to please me.  I never saw anything like this before.  She went insane with pleasure.  I never have been able to climax more than once.  Before this night was over Nina would have had me three times.  When this wonderful moment was over I rolled off her and on to my back exhausted and had the most wonderful feeling of well being and peace.  She arose and went into the bathroom and shortly came back, in a silk robe, and with a warm damp washcloth and towel.  She cleaned me tenderly and dried me.  I took the towel and wrapped it around me and we both went back into the living room.  Nina opened a cabinet and poured a small glass of Kentucky Bourbon for both of us.  We sat there chatting for about an hour and, were on our third bourbon, when she said, "let's go back in the bedroom".  I never expected or had experienced what happened next.  She removed my towel and her robe and pushed me backwards onto the bed.  I was not fully on the bed, my legs were off and my feet were still on the floor.  She started to play with me, kissing my stomach and inner legs while she kneeled on the floor.  I was aroused again, to my great surprise, and she performed oral sex on me to a thundering climax.  Again she went into the bathroom, returned, and cleaned me.  She pulled down the covers of her bed and we both were asleep in a matter of moments.  The morning came all to soon, and when I awoke she was up and in the kitchen.  I was just starting to get up when she came back into the bedroom with a tray containing two large sticky buns and a large cup of strong coffee for me.  I sat up and covered my nakedness with the blanket while she just sat there on the edge of the bed looking at me.  I said, "WHAT" and she replied, "I got a surprise for you"!  With that she removed the tray, pulled down the blanket covering me, removed her robe and mounted me like a horse back rider.  I thought I was going to embarrass myself by not getting an erection, but to my second amazement up it came.  She guided it to the right place and started to go up and down, up and down.  She started to go faster and faster and shortly shouted "Now" "Now" and for the first time in my entire life I experienced a woman having an orgasm.

I joined her at that moment with my third.  She rolled to her side of the bed, took a cigarette out of the pack on the night table and sat up next to me smoking.  I took the cup off the tray and finished the coffee.  In a few minutes, she did the cleaning thing, and we both dressed, kissed, hugged and as I was leaving, she suggested that I use the back stairs instead of the front entrance.  The landlady would be upset if she saw me leaving at six in the morning.  She mussed my hair playfully, hugged and kissed me and said, "See you at work tonight".

As I drove home, what had happened to me that night played over and over in my mind.  I realized that it must have meant that Nina had some feelings for me to do what she did.  I didn't grasp the full meaning till months later.  My home was only six blocks from Nina's apartment.  In a development built right after world war two, to accommodate the returning soldiers and sailors.  A small place with the living room and kitchen on the first floor and three bedrooms upstairs.  I walked in at about six forty five and Mary was up and in the kitchen preparing breakfast for herself and the children.  She came to the doorway between the kitchen and living room, and I walked up to her, kissed her, and said, "I been working a case all night and haven't slept a wink", "could you call me in sick to the office?".  I went at once upstairs and slept till three in the afternoon.  When I woke, I ached all over and walked slowly to the bathroom to take a shower.  The shower sort of revived me and as I stepped out and started to dry myself, the bath towel rubbed against my private parts and I knew that Nina had done a job on me.  Here I was, a married man for seven years, and I had fathered three children, and never in my life did it hurt like this the next day.

I came downstairs and Mary was in the kitchen at the sink.  The children had not returned yet from school.  I walked up behind her and put my arms around her and kissed her on the back of the neck.  She turned and hugged me and looking up into my face and exclaimed "You look like death warmed over, hope it was all worth it".  The next comment was the one that started the guilt.  Mary hugged me hard and with her head on my chest said "Glad to have you back, we were worried".  She gently pushed me away and said "Breakfast? Or Lunch?" I replied nothing thanks, just a cup of coffee.  At this moment I realized that she was not going to ask me where I had been all night.

I had been preparing the answer to that question as I showered.  A monestrous lie about a all night detective case.  I didn't know if her lack of concern was blind trust or just a case of, "I don't want to know" In either case I was relieved at not having to explain, for I don't lie well as my mother always said, "Your Lying to me Kevin, it's written all over your face".  I asked if she had called me in sick and she replied, "No, I can't lie for you, I told them you were under the weather, that's a very broad statement".  I thought, "Damn Mary, I bet when you go to confession all you got to tell, is that you overcooked the potatoes".  The word "Confession" lingered in my mind.  Not wanting to hurt her feelings I never spoke those words.  The girls all returned home from school and Mary and I sat on the couch and looked over their papers.  One, in each girls folders of papers, was a note from the Mother Superior asking for donations to replace the statue of the Blessed Virgin that stood in front of the school.  Seems some vandal took her nose off with a stone.  I went to get my check book and wrote three checks one for each girl, the three totaled thirty dollars.  As I handed them each the check, Mary said to be sure to take good care and see that each of their teachers get the checks.  She turned to me and said, "That was nice, God will bless you for that." I thought than, "My God, what have I done," thinking of last night.  I spent the rest of the day playing with the kids, all the time in the back of my mind the nagging thought, "My God what have I done?" The next day was Wednesday and confessions were being held at the church.  After work I went home and ate supper and departing from my usual routine, told Mary that I had an errand to run and would be back in about a hour.  I drove to church and sat in the back and watched all the others enter and leave the confessional.  I hadn't been to confession since the night before Mary and I were married.  My rational was that I had done nothing serious enough to warrant going.  This time it was different, I had committed the biggest sin of all, short of murder, I had committed Adultery.  I thought than what a paradoxical situation I had gotten myself into.  Here I was an adultery detective, getting people arrested for doing the exact same thing I was doing.  I tried to put it out of my mind and face the situation I now found myself in.  Mary was so involved with the activities of the church, all the children went to the catholic school right next door.  I had met all the priests and nuns and talked with them all.  Certainly the priest in that confessional booth is going to recognize my voice.  What effect will this have on the girls? I know he can't tell anyone what I tell him, but he will know, and how do I face him again.  The lines got smaller and smaller and I knew that I had to make a decision right then and there.  I had to make a choice, GO IN or GO HOME.  I walked to the front of the church and lit a candle in front of the statue of Saint Joseph and knelt at the alter rail.  I said "God I can't go in there, but you know I am sorry for what I have done." I arose and went home vowing that this would never happen again.

The weeks that followed were filled with mixed emotions.  I drove myself hard at the office putting in extra time and redeeming myself with the boss.  I was still working about two cases a week for the agency, and Nina was still my partner.  She never mentioned "THAT NIGHT" and I must say, acted towards me as if it had never happened, and I was happy about that.  The only problem I had was every time I was near her, and that was almost every night of the week, I wanted to take her in my arms and love the hell out of her.  I realized that I was deeply in love with her and although she hadn't said it I felt she loved me too.  She was so beautiful and so young and was all the things that Mary was not.  If I could just roll the two of them into one woman, my life would be complete.  I was working the two jobs, Nina and I were building a firm reputation as the best team in the agency, and money was rolling in.  The kids got things that I never could afford before, we bought a second car for Mary, and both Mary and I bought nice new clothes.  I was eating at the Hotel on a regular basis with Tom, and because the phone company was only two blocks away, Nina would join us often.  She never changed how she treated me, and I think she knew that what happened between us, had caused me some sort of a problem.  I am sure she didn't know what it was, and was waiting patiently for me to tell her.  I stayed away from the pub all this time and didn't drink.  Tom also knew something was wrong, but he too never asked me what it was.

All went very well for the next few months, than it was Spring and the trees were blooming and the smells of the mountains drifted down into the City.  Every one was happy and I was felling like a million bucks.  It was all behind me.  Then it happened, I arrived for work at the agency one night and Nina was sitting in the passenger side of the car.  As I entered I was hit again by that perfume.  I sat there for a moment and all the memories and feelings of "THAT NIGHT" came flooding back.  I became short of breath and confused.  Nina leaned over and handed me the pictures and information of the case we were assigned to this night.  As she did I took her hand and looked her right in the eyes and said "I love you very much".  Don't ask me why I did that because to this very day, I can't answer that question myself.  She slid over close to me and held my arm, and with her head on my shoulder and said, "Kevin I have been waiting for you to say that, I have been in love with you since the moment we first met at the pub." Do you want to tell me now what has been bothering you?" I explained as best I could the situation I found myself in.  Her reply was as kind as anyone could imagine, "Let's just take it slowly Kevin."

The final blow to my innocence came because of a case that the agency could not solve, but as a last resort Mr.  Willoby decided to let Nina and I give it a try.  After the exchange of how we felt about each other in the car.  I started to return to the Pub, and had many happy times with all my friends.  Nina and I were growing closer and closer to each other kissing, hugging and dancing (Click to play the song/continue reading as it loads) to the soft music of the juke box.  We were most certainly a couple.  I explained to Nina that I loved her and know now that she loves me but we have to avoid another night like "THAT NIGHT."  I explained again to her how guilty it made me feel.  I was astounded by her reply, "just to be near you is enough for me but I want you to know I am here for you any time you want me."  Did I want her??, my God I wanted her!!  I had to fight myself every moment I was with her, to keep my vow as I knelt at the alter.  The success we had solving the "Detectives In the Back Seat Case", broke my back so to speak and I gave up all hope of ever returning to who I was before I met her.  I guess your asking yourself, "Why didn't you just walk away, return all your attention to your wife and get on with your life??" There were several reasons really.  The first was that I had gotten used to the good life.  The excitement of the chase.  The money that rolled in faster than I could spend it.  Most of all, I loved her with all my heart and thought I could tough this out if I could avoid adultery again.  So here is the story that made me abandon all hope of avoiding adultery.

The agency had been hired by the wife of a Elected State Official.   His wife suspected he was seeing another woman.  It was complicated by the fact that before being elected to office, her husband was a police officer and later a private detective himself.  It was further complicated when during a violent argument, his wife blurted out that she will catch him in the act as she has hired a detective to follow him.  A most stupid thing to do, and making the job of a private detective almost impossible to accomplish, "catching him in the act of committing adultery".  "In the act", is a legal term that at this time, in this state, had very broad interpretations.  It meant that at the time of the raid, it was not necessary to catch them actually in bed together.  It meant that the raiding party had to produce sufficient testimony to lead reasonable people to assume the act of adultery had or was taken place.  This became quite easy for the raiding team since the pounding on the door and shouts of "open, this is the police", or "Is the fire in your room yet" routine sent the offending spouse and the partner always into a complete panic.  They never made the bed, never fully dressed, and often were in a state of either complete undress or wrapped in a blanket.  If you were on a jury, and the detective testified as follows: "They checked into the motel at 9 p.m., both using factitious names.

At 9:35 p.m. the lights in the room went out.  We demanded entrance at 10 p.m.  We could hear through the door people scurrying around and talking loudly.  It took two minutes for Mr.  X to open the door.  Upon entrance, it was observed that only one of the beds in the room was being used.  The two pillows on this bed each showed the indentation of a head.  Both parties were partially undressed.  Both had no shoes on and the shoes were next to the bed."  I ask you, "Do you think there is sufficient evidence to reasonably assume the act took place???"

This was Nina's and my first priority-one case, meaning there was no set fee.  The wife paid $50 an hour plus expenses.  We were given our first expense account forms and instructed on how to fill them out by Lena.  Receipts were not expected since asking for one might tip off the subject that we were working.  According to Lean's accounting methods, there was more money to be made on the expense account than what the agency paid us for the job.  She was absolutely right!  Three of Willoby's best priority one teams all failed, reporting, "This guy just can't be followed, he is just to good." Mr Willoby called Nina and I in and gave us our instructions.  "Do whatever you have to do.  Spend whatever you have to spend but GET THIS GUY".  We talked over the situation and read the reports of the three failed attempts and both came to the same conclusion.  We must find another way to find his nest without following him.  The reports stated that he always met with his lady at the same downtown cocktail lounge and after a couple of drinks, left together in his car, leaving hers in the parking lot.  Because of his evasive driving methods, everyone always lost him.  Nina and I started to patronize this place and observed them together many times.  They always sat in the same area of the bar facing the entrance and always came on a Friday night or Saturday in the late afternoon.  We moved to that location at the bar and were always there about 15 minutes before they arrived.  As the weeks passed, they noticed us and conversations ensued.  We only told them our first names as they also only told us their first names.  Knowing well how cheating spouses act, we acted the part quite well.  It wasn't long before he inquired of us, "Okay, which one of you is the married one?".  We had gambled on the fact that his time as a private detective would eventually lead him to this conclusion.  I sheepishly held up my hand with my head bowed low.  Funny isn't it, I was not lying.  Our friendship grew as we continued to meet at the bar.  At one point, I received a lecture on "Evasive Driving 101" from him and Nina received advice on how to act from her.  Never once did they admit to us that they too were cheaters.  We soon became close friends.  We were ready now to put the second phase of our plan into action.  One Saturday night, when they came into the cocktail lounge, we brought up the subject of eating and cooking.  Nina mentioned to her that she was a gourmet cook and would they like to come over to her place for dinner next week. They talked it over and thought it would be a great idea.  They will meet us here next Saturday at 8 p.m.  At 8:00 sharp the next Saturday, Nina and I were waiting in the parking lot for them.  I was driving my family car, a station wagon.  When they arrived I suggested that we all go in my car because no matter how we got there we all have to come back here to get the other cars.  We all got into the station wagon and I drove to Nina's apartment to a dinner that was catered by the Agency.  It was all set up to look as though it had come right out of Nina's kitchen.  Lena was there in case this thing went south and was introduced as Nina's mother.  She helped Nina serve the dinner.  After a wonderful dinner of standing rack of lamb and drinks we all drove back to the cocktail lounge and they drove away in his car leaving hers in the parking lot as usual.  We are again taking a gamble, that now being a politician, he would be well versed in the proper response to the home dinner invitation we had just concluded.  If true, and he feels he is obliged to reciprocate to our dinner, WE GOT HIM.   The following Saturday, they didn't show up at the cocktail lounge.  I was worried, but Nina's cool opinion soon set my mind to rest.  "She's probably having her period".  The next Saturday they showed up and they seemed quite happy to see us.  He asked if they could reciprocate and have the two of us over to their place next Saturday for dinner.  We of course agreed and I for one, breathed a big sigh of relief.  The next week we all met again in the parking lot and this time, we all got into his car.  He drove out and across the road into the parking lot of a shopping center and started going slowly up and down the lines of cars.  When he was satisfied that there were no cars following him, he went out the back exit of the shopping center and took all small back roads.  Any time a set of headlights was behind him he would stop and let them pass and than take the next right turn.  I inquired from the back seat, if this was the evasive driving he was telling me about.  He replied, "There isn't anyone alive that can follow me."  Little did he know that the detectives that were following him were now sitting in the back seat of his car.  We drove slowly and carefully to a small rented house in a nearby town.  Not her home, a place he rented just for the two of them to be together.  We were treated to a fine dinner and drinks and driven back to the cocktail lounge.  We reported to Mr Willoby the exact address of this small house.  Knowing that a standard raid will not work.  That he would be smart enough to make the bed and dress before answering the door.  Willoby had a locksmith visit the house during the week and make a skeleton key to fit the front door.  The raid was made the following Saturday.  The raiding team simply unlocked the front door at 3 a.m., walked in and turned the lights on in the bedroom, catching them both sound asleep in bed together.  The best part of this case is that his wife insisted on being there at the time of the raid.  Willoby later told us her only comment as she walked into the bedroom with the team was, "I told you I would get you".  Since neither Nina nor I were part of this team, "Mr. Smart Ass" has NO idea how his love nest was found, even as I write the account of these events today.

The ability of Nina and I to bring this case to a successful conclusion had everyone in the office talking.  This being our first priority-one case.  Up till now, we handled almost all "Joe Six Pack" cases, at $500 a pop.  Now we were being asked our opinion by other senior operatives, that up to this point didn't pay much attention to us.  I can recall one of them, that was a partner in one of the teams that failed asking, "How'd you do that?"  Obviously, Willoby had not yet posted the summary of the case in the monthly report.  He did not know that we simply used our heads and didn't repeat the same errors of the three teams that failed.  I answered him, "Just Blind Luck".  He smiled and walked away with his pride still intact.

Mr.  Willoby was overjoyed that we were able to do what none of the other operatives were able to do.  He said that Nina and I could have his cabin on the lake any weekend we wanted.  Just let him know when, and he will have the cook and housekeeper there.  Nina and I talked it over and she asked if I was sure that is what I wanted to do.  This decision was when I gave it all up.  This fight with myself was eating me alive.  We took him up on it and set the date for three weeks later.  I told Mary that the Agency was sending me on an out of town job for the weekend.  Willoby asked us if we wanted to be alone because Tom And Astra wanted to join us at the cabin.  He didn't mind but wanted to ask the two of us first.  I looked at Nina, Nina looked at me and we both looked at Willoby.  I summoned the courage and asked, "Why would that be a problem for us?" Nina and I had taken every precaution to be sure our relationship was viewed by everyone we did not associate with and trust, as strictly professional.  Willoby's question smacked of him knowing something we thought he did not know.  My question to him was what is known as a "Probing Question".  Not admitting anything, and trying to learn what the subject knows.  Willoby saw it for what it was instantly.  He went to the door and closed it.  He returned to his desk and said.  "Kevin, I've been a cop for over 50 years.  You two are in love and probably having an affair.  You keep your nose clean on the job. What you do in your private life is no concern of mine.  So now, do you want to be alone?" I answered at once, "I have no objection to Tom and Astra joining us".  I realized that if I answered any other way, the "probably", would be removed from his mind.  He did not know but suspected the truth.  This was one hell of a good old cop.  Tom and Astra were given permission to join us for the weekend.

I believe now that I had turned the corner.  I had abandoned the idea of being a good husband and fighting off all the temptations around me.  I will just let nature take its course and go all the way it directs me to go.  What ever the consequences of my actions, I will go into this with my whole heart and soul and give myself completely to Nina emotionally.  This decision lifted a lead weight from my body that I have carried since I knelt at the alter.  It, on the other hand, was the start of a downward spiral in my life that almost led to my death.

It has been over several months since "THAT NIGHT" and I have not touched either Mary or Nina.  Mary never asked why and Nina knew why.  During "THAT NIGHT", Nina was in complete control of everything that happened.  I was determined that this weekend I can hold out to anything Nina can do to me and try my best to make HER cry uncle this time.  I wanted to see that orgasm again, wait 'till I see it happening to her and hold her in my arms and go to heaven together.  I wanted to hold myself back till I drove her crazy with the passion I saw in her.

We arrived at the cabin on Friday night and were very surprised to find that this was no Cabin.  It was more like a full-sized home.  The first floor was completely unobstructed by any walls and contained a very large dining table, arm chairs and couches in groups here and there.  The fireplace was a big walk in type, completely built out of field stone with couches and arm chairs in front of it.  There was a long verandah facing the lake with double glass doors leading out to it.  The verandah was furnished with over-stuffed lounge chairs and little tables to put drinks on.  Chinese lanterns hung from the ceiling.  There was a flight of stairs on the side wall that led up to a balcony.  This balcony covered all four walls and had a bedroom on each side, for a total of four bedrooms.  One could look down and see the first floor from these balconies.  We were greeted by the housekeeper and taken to our rooms.  Tom on one side of the balcony and me on the other, directly across from his.  The housekeeper said dinner would be ready in about a hour.  She spoke with a Swedish accent, walked with a self-assured gait.  Her hair was tied back into a bun.  A rather large and substantial woman that I guessed to be in her late 40's or early 50's.  Everyone went to wash up and put our things away.  Each room had it's own bathroom, like a motel room.  The towels in the bathroom appeared to be custom, made.  I had never seen any like them before.  They were very narrow, not more than 20" wide and very long.  When wrapped around the waist, it looked like you were wearing a mini skirt.  We put our things in the dresser and I went into the bathroom to give it the once over and put my shaving kit in there.  When I came out, Nina was lounging on the bed smoking a cigarette.  I was taken at that moment by how beautiful she was.  I sat next to her on the bed and she mentioned how beautiful this place is.  I replied, "Not as beautiful as you are"!  I placed my hand on her thigh with my fingers just under the bottom of her white shorts.  She looked at me, smiled, and turned and immediately put her cigarette in the ash tray and slid from a sitting position to a prone position.  She didn't say anything.  She didn't react to me.  She simply laid there on the bed waiting, not moving.  I leaned and kissed her and she closed her eyes, but didn't move.  When the kiss was over she opened her eyes and smiled at me.   She was breathing a little faster now.  I started to open the buttons on her blouse and her eyes closed again.  I exposed a lacy bra and pulled her slowly up and unhooked it in the back.  I eased her back down and gently raised the bra exposing her to my full view.  She continued to lay there in complete submission.  I explored her breasts and she was firm and warm and suddenly her nipples came to a point.  The offering was accepted and I leaned down and kissed each tenderly.  Now the submission left her, and she threw her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear, "DO IT, DO IT NOW".  I unzipped her white shorts and drew her shorts and panties off.  While I was doing this, she removed her blouse and bra.  This time there was no flashing hormones or carrying to the bedroom.  I stood there looking down at her.  Her eyes were closed and she was breathing hard and waiting for me.  For the first time, I was having the opportunity to look at her.  To let my eyes run up and down her body.  I thought at that moment, "My God, she's more beautiful naked than she is with clothes on".  During "THAT NIGHT", it was plain that Nina's hope was to bring me as much pleasure as she possibly could.  Now it was my turn to return that favor.  I remembered that the only time she had a climax was in the morning and she was in that riding position.  I had heard that some women were capable of more than one orgasm and I was determined to hold back 'till she had all she could bare.

I took off every stitch of my clothes and told her to scoot over.   She did and I laid on the bed next to her.  She sat up and was exploring me when I pulled her over on top of me.  She kneeled up astride me and with her help we made union.  She started, but this time I was in complete control and determined to let her do it 'till she couldn't do it anymore.  It wasn't very long until the first overwhelming orgasm shook her from head to toe.  She threw her head back and in a voice choked with passion moaned and simultaneously her head slowly settled down on her chest and she muttered, "OH MY GOD".  She was completely out of breath and sat erect with her hands on her hips trying to catch her breath.  She settled on me not moving for about two minutes.  She put both her hands on my chest and her head was down.  I asked her if she was done and she replied "No, not yet" and started again.  Two more orgasms followed and I could see she was getting very tired.  Then she said the words I had been waiting for, "When are you going to finish?" I made her cry uncle.   We had been at it for over twenty minutes.  I asked her to do it a little more and when I saw another one coming.  I let myself go, I pulled her to my chest and we went to heaven together.  We went into the bathroom and turned on the shower.  Together we stepped in and felt the warm water running down our bodies.  Facing each other, I washed her and she washed me.  As she was washing me, she said, "turn around, I never have seen what you look like from the back".  I turned and she started to scrub my back.  As she finished, she slapped my butt real hard and said, "That's real nice".  I turned and held her in my arms for the longest time.  A feeling of deep love filled me to my soul.  No passion, no desire, just a feeling that I had in my arms a wonderful woman and I loved her so very much.

We dried each other, rested, smoked and giggled at each other like a couple of kids in the back seat of a car.  She kept saying "WOW -WOW", "This is great".  The hugs and kisses that were exchanged were real and felt deep down.  If I ever doubted that I was in love, all doubt left me this night.  Nina too remarked that she never loved anyone the way she loved me.  We were both stark naked when we heard the bell ringing.  A school bell was ringing, the hand held type.  I threw one of those towels around my waist and rushed to the balcony to see what it meant.  There stood Tom on the balcony across from me with a towel around his waist also.  We smiled and we waved at each other, knowing full well what the other guy was up to.  As we looked down, an oriental lady in a white uniform walked to the center on the floor downstairs, ringing a bell.  She said "Dina Leady"- "Dina Leady".  Tom looked over at me and we both shrugged not having the faintest idea of what she was saying.  At that moment, the housekeeper appeared and took the bell from her hand and placed it on the big table.  She first looked up at Tom and then turned and looked up at me.  We were both standing there in those short towels.  She lowered her head and without looking up again, said, "Dinner is ready ladies and gentlemen" with a strong emphasis on "GENTLEMEN".  She turned deliberately and pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and walked sway with her handkerchief covering her mouth and I think she was laughing.  I soon realized that from down there, looking up at us, our towels hid very little from her view.  Especially Tom, who, when Astra was in her cups with to much Bourbon and water, would comment to Nina, "He's built like a horse".  This always brought a big smile to Tom's face and he would start to nod yes with pride.  As far as I know, Nina never spoke about me to Astra, at least not while I was listening.

We dressed quickly and went down to a complete lobster dinner with wine and flaming cherries for desert.  I had eaten lobster tail before at one or two of the company meetings.  I never was served the whole damn thing.  China lady came out of the kitchen with the four plates, each with a tin cover on a rolling cart and rolled it up to the side of the table.  It looked as though her job at this point was over because she just stood to one side waiting as the housekeeper gave us our plates, put a bib around our necks and handed us each a nut cracker.  All four of us must have been in the same situation.  We all looked and looked and did not eat anything.  We all just stared down at this monestrous animal sitting in the center of a monestrous oval plate, a big bowl of melted butter in front of it.  The housekeeper, standing there, hands clasped in front of her, realized that not one of us had ever in our lives eaten a whole lobster.  This lady knew what she was doing when it came to guests.  She simply stepped forward, took the nut cracker from my hand and put it around the claw of the animal on my plate, stepped back and said, "The nut cracker is to break open the claws".  With a starting point given to us, we all started breaking claws.  We continued breaking, cutting, tearing, until the oval plates contained only shells.  What a hell of a good meal it was.  When we finished, the housekeeper motioned to China Lady and she stepped forward and took all the plates and silverware away.  My plate was first, and when she placed it on the cart, she returned, tugged at my bib and I took it off and handed it to her.  The others saw this and had their bibs off by the time she got to their plates.  She rolled the cart back into the kitchen while the housekeeper swept the table with a brush.  Thinking that the dinner was all over, I stood up.  Again the housekeeper intervened saying, "Please remain at the table sir, desert and coffee will arrive momentarily".  I nodded knowingly and sat back down.  She placed an ash tray in front of each of us and we smoked, chatted and waited for the other shoe to drop.  Shortly, back came China Lady with the cart.  The housekeeper removed the ash trays, again swept the table with a brush and walked over to the cart.  She took a bottle of something from the lower shelf and poured it over the desert.  She than lit a match and set them all on fire.  In a few moments the flame died down and she placed one of them in front of each of us.  It was delicious, ice cream, covered with cherries that tasted like the brandy Tom and I drank at our first lunch.  While we ate, the housekeeper placed a very tiny cup and saucer in front of all of us, and poured a thick black coffee into each, leaving the silver coffee holder in the center of the table.  With that, the housekeeper and China Lady were gone not to be seen again till much later in the evening.  The empty cart that China Lady had brought the desert and coffee, now contained only four clean ashtrays, four glasses Tom called "Snifters", and a bottle of Christian Brother's Brandy unopened.  They must all have come from the bottom shelf because neither of them left while we ate our desert.  We all poured a brandy.  After dinner Astra and Nina went off by themselves.  Brandy glasses in hand, and were standing to the side of the big fireplace.  Tom and I each sat in one of the big chairs in front of it.  I smoked my pipe and he was smoking a cigarette.  Both of us also were drinking the brandy.  The two girls were involved in deep conversation.  This conversation was interspersed with mouth covered giggles, and glances over to where Tom and I were sitting.  Tom leaned over and said, "They have to be talking about you Kevin, because I didn't do anything I hadn't done a hundred times before!" I felt my face flush, Tom noticed, laughed and said," you want to tell me because Astra most certainly will." I replied that I couldn't imagine what it could be", and changed the subject.  The girls came over and joined us.  We walked out by the lake, the moon was bright and the night was warm.  After a while we returned and sat on the beautiful verandah overlooking the lake, chatting.  The housekeeper re- appeared and asked each of us, "What would you like to drink".  Of course Astra ordered Bourbon and water, Nina ordered a beer, Tom and I both said, "Just bring that brandy bottle out here".  She returned with the tray of drinks, but to Tom and my surprise, it contained two new "Snifter" glasses and instead of the Christian Brother's Brandy a bottle of French brandy called "Cognac".  With the never ending drinks the housekeeper continued to bring us we were all quite drunk when we went to bed.  The beds were queen size with two in each room.  Nina and I spent the night cuddled in each others arms.  This is the first time in my life that I ever spent a whole night with a woman in my arms.  It's a wonderful feeling of love and security.

Nina and I were up, showered and dressed by nine thirty.  I walked out on the balcony and smelled the wonderful odor of cooking bacon.  I walked around to Tom's room and gave the door a knock.  They were up and ready as we were.  We all went down and the table was set for breakfast.  The housekeeper came out of the kitchen and asked how we would prefer our eggs, and if there were any objections to bacon.  It was a nice, home style breakfast, this time with the regular kind of coffee you would make at home.  We sat there talking about how wonderful this place was, and Astra mentioned that Willoby must be worth a hell of a lot of money.  Tom broke right in and set her straight.  He told us all that yes, Willoby had a fantastic business and made real good money, but nothing near enough to support his lifestyle.  It was Mrs.  Willoby that had the big money.  She was the only child in the family that made it's money in lumber.  One of the biggest and most famous brands in the world.  She had inherited a vast sum of money following her father's death and the sale of his company.  Willoby didn't have to work, he so enjoys what he does, he will never stop.  He went on to say, "Didn't you ever wonder why you and the raiding party are getting more of the case money than he keeps??" "He's not doing it for the money, he just loves to do it".

After breakfast, we all used the pistol range, practicing with our 38 caliber side arms and 22 caliber derringer ankle guns.  Nina was wearing her usual blue jeans, but Astra had a sort of cowboy girl skirt and cowboy shirt and vest on.  Nina simply reached down and pulled her derringer out of the holster on her ankle.  Up came Astra's skirt, and her holster was on her thigh and almost to her butt.  Both Tom and I got a good eye full.  We normally went to the Sheriff's shooting range to practice, at least once every three months.  Willoby never required his operatives to be armed, but did require they be certified if they were.  He himself always carried a side arm when he was working outside the office.  He often mentioned to us that some day he might run up against a "Crazy", or irate spouse bent on revenge that would try to kill him.  He didn't want to ever be in a position not to be able to defend himself.  Since he did, so did almost all of his operatives.  It was a very simple procedure that was followed to obtain a concealed weapon permit.  They all were issued by the county Sheriff.  We simply went to the court house and than to the Sheriff's office and presented our credentials issued by Willoby appointing us operative working under his state detective's license.  We were photographed and fingerprinted as we had been by Willoby.  In two weeks we went back and picked up the license to carry a canceled weapon for protection purposes.  It listed the make and model of the weapon as "ANY", meaning we were able to carry any weapon, or more than one weapon, We all carried Thirty Eights and all also carried an ankle gun.  The ankle gun gave us an opportunity to fight back if during a confrontation we had our gun taken away.  Following the license we had to go to the shooting range and get a certificate stating that we shot well enough and understood the operation and care of our sidearms.  We were also, at this time given a lecture on when we can and cannot use deadly force to defend ourselves.  It all boiled down to this.  If you are attacked, the attacker must be attacking you with a weapon, and you believe you are about to be killed.  In any other confrontation the gun can't be used, but as Willoby always said, "There ain't no law against letting the "Crazy" see what you have strapped to your hip".  He was right, many times during my career, when it looked as though I was about to have the living hell beat out of me by an irate husband or boyfriend, I simply unbuttoned my coat and put my hand on my waist, behind the gun.  This is a definite, "Attitude Changer".  Only one time did this gun ever come out of it's holster.  We shot skeet for about an hour, and neither of the girls could hit the broad side of a barn with the twelve gage shotgun.  It's beautiful and very secluded here.  I learned from Ton, that Mr.  Willoby purchased it from the Boy Scouts of America, when it became to small for their needs.  The main building we were staying in, used to be the chow hall, and he added the second floor and bed rooms.  That explained the complete openness of the first floor.  He owns the entire lake, which is about a mile long and more than 1/4 mile wide.  There are buildings scattered around that used to house the craft shop, the infirmary and the camp director's place.  These are now guest cottages.  He purchased half of the canoes and row boats from them as well.

We explored and had a most enjoyable time.  Lunch was served out by the lake, on the picnic table.  After lunch we all just sat there soaking up the sun.  Later Nina and I went canoeing but Astra wouldn't get into one, so she and Tom went row boating.  We went for a late afternoon swim and all returned to our rooms to take a nap.  All four of us were down at about five, and asked the housekeeper to bring us some drinks out on the verandah before supper.  She said she didn't think that would be a good idea, Mr.  and Mrs.  Willoby will be here in about twenty minutes.  A cocktail party and formal dinner has been arranged by them.  We all thought, "Boy that's nice we are gonna be invited to one of Willoby's famous parties." Little did we know than that we were not to be invited guests, but the entire thing was in Nina and my honor.  When they arrived they were accompanied by two more oriental ladies, also in the white uniforms just like our "China Lady", and a butler in a tuxedo.  I overhead them talk and the butler had an accent identical to the housekeeper.  I guessed they must be husband and wife.  Mr Willoby and the butler pulled on each end of the big table, and it stretched out to an unbelievable length.  They opened sliding doors on the wall and put four sections of wood in the middle and pushed it back together The table was now almost thirty feet long.  Another sliding door reveled stacks and stacks of beautiful chairs, which were all placed around the table.  We all watched this, and wondered what the hell was going on.  When she arrived, Mrs.  Willoby went directly into the kitchen with the two additional girls.  When she came out, she and Mr.  Willoby came over to the fire place where Nina and I, Tom and Astra were sitting, watching all the preparations.  The china ladies were setting the table.  The four of us sat there waiting to be told what this is all about.  The housekeeper arrived with a magnum of Champaign and six glasses.  She opened it and poured six glasses and left.  Something was up, but none of had the slightest clue what it was.  He gave out the glasses, cleared his throat, and said, "I propose a toast to Kevin Kelly and Nina Bird, the seventh and eighth members of the "Wall of Fame!!".  We all stood and at last knew what this was all about.  They all toasted Nina and I.  Tom and Astra smiled and were so please for the both of us.  The rats had known about it all along and never clued us in.  There is a wall in the Agency office that has small Bronze plaques on it, dedicated to operatives that have solved cases that appeared to be unsolvable, or solved a case that another Agency was unable to solve.  There are six plaques on this wall now.  Lena is the only one of them that is still working for Mr.  Willoby.  Nina and I are to be the seventh and eighth, because of "The Detectives in the Back Seat Case" as Willoby always referred to it.  We were told that a cocktail party and dinner was to be held in our honor at eight tonight.  It is to be a black tie event.  There were tuxedos and shoes for Tom and I, and gowns with shoes and jewelry for Nina and Astra, hanging on the rack near the entrance.  He suggested that we all take them to our rooms and try them on.  If an adjustment is needed, one of the girls is a seamstress and a sewing machine is in one of the closets.  He don't think any adjustments will be needed, since Mrs.  Willoby is almost an expert at simply looking at someone and telling what exact size clothes they wear.  He was right, everyone's clothes fit perfectly except Astra's, hers needed an adjustment to the length of her gown.  It dragged on the ground and she didn't like that at all.  We dressed and admired each other, and went out on the balcony and watched as the guests that were invited started to arrive at about seven thirty.  Dignitaries, co workers, strangers.  Nina was thrilled when she saw her father walk in.  We were signaled to come down at about eight to be introduced.  Nina and I stood there like the King and Queen of England as they all filed by and were introduced by Mr Willoby.  We met The Mayor, City Councilmen, a Judge, a State Police Captain, The Chief of Police [Nina's father], the County Sheriff, Monsignor Duffy, the pastor of my Church, who inquired about Mary.  See, I was right, what if he was the priest sitting in that confessional booth? Mary, I understand, had received an invitation to the event at the compound on Loon Lake, with a request to not tell me about it.  She sent her regrets as she always did.  She must have known that what I told her about going on a weekend job for the agency was not true.  Again like the many times before she never questioned me about it.

The dinner started about nine thirty after cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, They included Caviar, and a wide range of stuff on little crackers and stuck on tooth picks.  I never had any of this stuff before, but I enjoyed the Caviar and the liver and water chestnuts wrapped in bacon on a tooth pick.  I think they called it "Rumakie".  Willoby made me a "Manhattan" drink and I liked it so much I went and asked the lady walking around, that seemed to be in charge of the drinks to bring me another one of them.  The dinner was Peking Duck, four of them, and was marvelous, long and nerve racking.  There were four forks and five spoons and three knives.  I watched the Mayor, who was sitting to my left and did what ever he did.  I glanced over to Nina who Willoby had seated across the table from me, and she was in no trouble at all.  Later she told me she read in a travel book, that you start picking up the silverware on the outside in America, and on the inside in Europe.  After dinner was over, Mr.  Willoby uncovered the plaques that were to be hung on the wall, and made a speech about how Nina and I accomplished the impossible.  He again referred to it as, "The Detectives in The Back Seat Case".  Every one stood up and we didn't.  When we were at the fireplace and the champagne toast was over, Willoby and his wife left.  The housekeeper came to remove the bottle and glasses.  She motioned for Nina and I to come to one side out of the hearing of Tom and Astra.  She was real nice as she told us that the proper thing to do if we are toasted again, was not to stand with all the rest, as we did with Mr and Mrs.  Willoby.  We should simply remain in our seats and also raise our glasses and drink with the others.  So Nina and I simply sat there smiling, raising our glasses, waving and drinking, as they all toasted the work we did.  After the wonderful dinner was over, they all milled around shaking each others hands and making deals and talking police stuff.  One by one they left.  The last to leave was The Willoby's.  Then we were alone, and almost in a state of shock.  What a tremendous honor he had been bestowed on us.  We were all gathered together out on the verandah, still with drinks in our hands.  The conversation was about what all this will translate into for Nina and I.  Both Tom and Astra were of the same opinion.  We are destined to make one hell of a lot of money, because Willoby would be nuts to not keep us on priority one cases.  Secondly, Astra said, "In my opinion, you two, if you keep going as you have gone, are going to end up as one of the best adultery teams, not only in the agency, but in the country".  Tom agreed.  We defiantly now were feeling our oats.  To be judged the best in the country is a very heady thing to try to get a handle one, since Nina and I have spent a little over a year as a team.  Nina mentioned that some day she would like to get out of the adultery section and over into the Industrial Investigation group.  This is a group that works cases to uncover industrial theft.  The operatives in this group work full time for Willoby and are sent in as new employees to the companies that hire him.  The advantage here is that they draw a paycheck from the company as an employee and also draw one from Willoby as a detective.  They work full time in the industry to find out how that companies secrets are getting out to their competitors and in some cases who is stealing the merchandise or who is behind the betting pools going on.  Tom told her to forget that idea.  Your going to be working in different states, and have to get an apartment there for each new job.  You'll never be home, and the adultery guys make more money than any of the industrial guys.  Nina's next comment had everyone's head going up and down in agreement.  "This is a dirty, rotten job we are doing, and It makes me uncomfortable doing it." The housekeeper broke the spell, and brought us back to reality.  She suggested we all get out of those, "horrible looking clothes," and she will bring us our drinks out by the lake, and, "you all can, breath the fresh air, look up at the beautiful night sky, maybe, build a fire and roast marshmallows.  Anything that will help you, GET YOUR HEADS SCREWED BACK ON CORRECTLY".  Oh dear, the housekeeper is also a philosopher.

I liked her a lot.  I got the feeling that she liked us a lot also.  She obviously had overheard out entire conversation on the verandah.

Breakfast on Sunday was something that I enjoyed very much and will never find again.  We were served an omelet that contained strange smoky tasting meats, spices and Chinese vegetables.  I asked China Lady to tell me what was in it but she refused, saying, "if you know, you no eat".  We ate well and were sad this weekend was coming to a close.  Later I asked Mr.  Willoby, if he knew what was in that Sunday morning omelet that made it taste so different and good.  He laughed and said he liked it too, that the meat was smoked snake.  No wonder China Lady wouldn't tell us what was in it.

We left Sunday after lunch, and I have never forgotten that weekend, for it was the weekend that the thoughts began that I may have married the wrong person, and the torments started of how I could correct the situation.  There was no solution that did not involve destroying my wife and children.  A catch 22 situation for me.  I wanted to have Nina with me for the rest of my life, but could not bare the thoughts of the shame and consequences of divorcing Mary and leaving her alone to care for three little children, especially since Mary did absolutely nothing to deserve this treatment.

The weeks that followed were busy ones.  Nina and I had been moved up by Mr Willoby to all priority one cases, as Tom had predicted, and we were given carte blank to select the cases we wanted to work on, before any of the other teams.  Our income rose dramatically because we now both had a expense account.  Prior to this any expenses were paid out of the $500 we received for each, "Joe Six Pack," case.  It also meant we were now going to be dealing with a different class of people.

In the $1000 dollar covers all cases, of which we received the $500, we were dealing with Joe 6 pack running around on his wife.  A construction worker meeting a waitress is a good example.  They always had a meeting place, seldom deviated from meeting at this same place, and seldom varied the day and time they would meet.  The meeting places, where they dropped off one car and left in the other, were small bars, coffee shops and behind the shopping center.  Following them, presented no problem, If it is done right.  We simply waited at their meeting place.  When they went in to get a drink or a cup of coffee, we would snap a picture of them socializing with a small palm size "Minolta" camera.  This camera was developed for spies to photograph documents on a desk using only the light from a bulb.

We never hurried the work.  Might get the picture, wait till next week out in the parking lot, follow them for a mile, and let them go.  Next week we would be at the place we let them go, and follow for a mile or two further.  Eventually the trail would end at a Motel, Woods, Rented room, places like that.  Now we had what in the trade is called "The Nest".  Since cheaters get very comfortable with their routine, it seldom changes.  They drive the same route, go to the same place time after time.  Once the "Nest" is established, our job is almost over.  We wait at it to establish the timing of their meetings.  Do they show up every Saturday at nine, is it every Thursday at seven, It will always be a set time and place, because one of them has to explain to the husband or wife where he or she is going.  It is a fact that you will be able to set your watch by their repeat timing.  The meeting in the evening, after six is explained with the "I am Working overtime routine".  That means Joe Six Pack has to meet his girl friend after work, but be home in time to make it look like he has worked overtime.  It must coincide with his girlfriends schedule.  The late and longer meetings, are explained by the "I am going now to the club", bowling alley, union meeting and others that would take four to six explained hours.  So we wait at the Nest till their routine is clear, The report is sent in and a date and time of a raid is set.  Now it is our responsibility to be sure "The Birds Are In The Nest" on the day of the raid, We wait till they show up, are in the nest, and call for the raiding team, We watch the nest till they arrive to be sure they don't leave.  These cases represent the bulk of the work done by an adultery detective.  If you have two cheating couples, that meet at different times and days of the week, it is a very easy task to work two cases at one time.  Most large detective agencies shun this kind of work, believing it is below the threshold of reputable detective work.  Willoby's agency filled the void, when he decided to go after this neglected work.

The priority one cases, will be a change for Nina and I.  These cases are quite different.  Because they represent the prospect of large fees, most detective agencies will handle them.  The basic difference is in the people.  In priority one cases we will be dealing with very sophisticated people, that, although doing exactly the same thing as Joe six pack, use their heads better.  They have much more time and money to devote to their illicit affair.  The meeting places were Upscale Cocktail Lounges, Hotels, Private eating clubs, The Tennis Club, The Golf Club.  They rarely had to drive anyplace together.  They had a room or apartment nearby or called a taxi.  They never met in the home town of either, but met in a location that they would not be recognized.  This meant places like Atlantic City, Wildwood on the Jersey Coast, a Baltimore Hotel on the Harbor or a small up state town, where they were assumed to be husband and wife and checked in as husband and wife or at times as complete strangers, to a classy bed and breakfast.  The quickie was rare, but not unheard of.  They almost always got together for the entire weekend.  The Detectives In The back Seat case is typical with the exception of how they met.  They had the rented house and spent the entire weekend together.

Nina and I spent many a joyful weekend at Posh resorts, or laying on the beach in some beautiful ocean front resort town.  Or pretending to be newly weds at upstate bed and breakfast places.  We both had to learn to play golf, ride horses, play tennis, and develop the ability to talk about subjects we knew nothing about.  To Nina and I this was not work it was heaven.  All the time we were enjoying this beautiful life the " JOHN" and "DAME" were never out of our sight, many times they were sitting at the pool side table with us drinking drinks with little umbrellas stuck in them. 

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Our objective was exactly the same as it was in the Joe Six Pack cases.  To establish the routine the couple was following.  Get a few pictures of them together at different times and dates.  And together in different places, the pool, the bar, the golf course, the tennis court and yes, out together horseback riding.  This eliminated the defense, that it was not an ongoing adulterous affair, only a unfortunate one night dalliance.

To get these pictures Nina and I had to be right there, doing the same thing and taking pictures of each other.  Once the firm timetable of the couple was established, the documenting photos taken, the complete report submitted, a meeting was always called with the spouse that had hired the agency and usually her or his lawyer.  The case was finished for us unless a raid was to be made.  The meeting between the spouse, lawyer and Willoby, was to lay out what we had for them, and give them copies of the report and photos.  They than decided if they would handle the matter in private to avoid publicity, or proceed with a documenting raid.  The raid would be set up exactly as it is done in the other cases, and that would bring Nina and I back on that case.  Most of these cases never went to a raid.  These people had reputations to consider.  The usual routine went like this.  The wife, after the meeting with Willoby would file for divorce.  The husband than to protect his assets would counter file.  The subsequent communication between lawyers would reveal that the wife had documentation of adultery, naming times, places, dates and most of all, and the thing that always caused the husband the most trouble was, a co-respondent.  That is a big word for the name of his girl friend, her marital status and address.  The wife's lawyer would be very careful to only reveal bits and pieces of what he had.  Not knowing to what extent his wife would go, or what she actually had on him, and always thinking of the consequences to his girl friend, kept the husband back on his heels.  This usually caused the husband to negotiate a wonderful settlement with the wife to prevent this from going to a master's hearing, and or to court as an adultery divorce.  It usually ended up as an incompatibility divorce, with no mention of the adultery, as arranged between the two lawyers.  It must be said here that the whole reason the wife hired a detective in the first place, was to get, the house, the car, the children, the boat and everything she could out of an impending divorce.  If on the other hand their relationship had deteriorated to the extent that she wished to destroy him, than and only than would a raid be held.  She than would file and proceed with an adultery divorce in open court and destroy her husband's reputation, and that of his girlfriend.  This happened from time to time.

Nina and I were very successful, case after case went well.  The agency was making tons of money and so were we.  By now we were so deeply in love with each other that any thought of parting was out of the question.

Mary accepted the lie that all these weekends that I was away was strictly Agency work.  Many, I would say.  most of them were.  Nina and I spent many weekends together at her apartment not six blocks from my home.  On the weekends we were working out of town, we made sure we our work never interfered with our personal love affair.  Since we both were on the expense account, our private time we were spending together was hidden in the expense account.  We were very creative.  Receipts were not required, since Willoby simply passed on these expenses to the client, but we both had an American Express credit card.  Paying a restaurant bill with this card is done by all kinds of people.  We often had to follow people who were very wealthy, frequented very expensive establishments and checked into top of the line motels and hotels for a long weekend.  We were on a case one summer that led us to Wildwood on the New Jersey coast.  I will try to explain as I go along, how we made money on the expense account.

We were following a business man, who's wife hired Willoby, saying that her husband was having an affair with his secretary.  He owned the company, and being away for extended periods of time was something he did quite often.  She received a call from the husband of his secretary one afternoon, telling her that he suspected that his wife was having an affair with her husband.  He earned his living as a maintenance man in a factory.  He didn't want to divorce his wife, he loved her very much, but he can't compete with the her husband.  He went on to say that they go away to expensive resorts together and his wife returns with expensive gifts.  She explains it as "Working Weekends", and assured him there was nothing personal about her relationship with her boss.  She asked the man to do nothing right now and she will look into the situation and get back to him.  That brought her to Willoby.  In questioning her, he inquired why she didn't believe her husband was on working weekends and took his secretary with him as many high ranking executives often did.  Her reply, he had heard many times before, and caused him to take the case.  "For the last six months, he has had no sexual interest in me".  That meant he was getting it somewhere else, and the call from the husband was probably correct.  Nina and I had just completed an easy case.  We submit our expense account on a weekly basis so our paychecks will contain the money to pay the charges we had put on credit cards.  That done, we were again flush with money and had hoped to be able to skip a few weeks, and spend the ensuing weekends together on Cape Cod.  When informed that we were going immediately to another case sort of disappointed the both of us.  The first thing we had to get a handle on was where the husband was going on these working weekends.  We could follow his car but that could take weeks.  I called the wife and asked if she had any way of getting her hand's on her husbands credit card bills.  She said that he only uses business credit cards and the bills go directly to the company and she has no way of seeing them.  A few days later she called Willoby and told him that she often found the duplicate copy of credit card receipts in her husband's suits when she sent them off the be dry cleaned.  Would these be of any help, all she did with them was put them in a box on her husband's desk at home.  Willoby, knowing what Nina and I were after, "Where is he going?" told her that next weekend that her husband goes away, to bring the whole box into the office.  Two weeks went by and Willoby presented us with a box full of copies of these receipts.  She returned her box at once to her husbands desk before he returned home.  Nina and I started to stack them up on her kitchen table by city of establishment.  It wasn't very long till one of the piles got three times larger than any of the rest.  The city was Wildwood, New Jersey.  With this information in hand we went to Willoby and told him we think the nest is in Wildwood, New Jersey.  His only reply was, "Go Get Him Tiger".  Thus started a series of weekends for Nina and I on the New Jersey coast, and in one of the most expensive resort areas on that coast.  Bathing suits, sun tan lotion, fine dress up clothes were packed.  Away we went weekend after weekend, that his wife called to say he was off on a working weekend again.  We were looking for his car.  We had the make model and plate number and went from Hotel to Hotel, Motel to motel, working our way closer and closer to the beach area.

On the third weekend, there it was parked in the parking lot of a beach front motel.  We had never seen him but had a picture supplied by his wife.  Nina and I checked into the Motel as husband and wife.  The proprietor didn't ask for our car registration, he asked for our American Express credit card and struck a blank to be filled out when we checked out.  We went to our room followed by a bell boy.  He opened the door, the curtains, turned on the air conditioner and received a two dollar tip that ended up as five dollars on next weeks expense account.  By now it was lunch time and we walked down the board walk to a nice looking place called "The Captain's Table".  Acting as we always did, as husband and wife, we selected a table right out in the center, and both sat with our backs to the door.  Cheaters never do this.  They always select a table out of the way and always sit facing the door.  That way if someone comes in that would recognize them, they would spot him before he spotted them.  Immediately one would go to the rest room and never return to the table.  We glanced around when Nina said, "Let me see that picture of the John!"  I pulled it out and handed it to her.  She looked at it, and up to a couple sitting at a rear table, both sitting on the same side of the table facing the door.  She said, we got him right here in the restaurant with us Kevin".  I got up and walked to the men's room and got a close look at him and by God she was right.  There he sat with his secretary having lunch.  We ate a leisurely lunch, paid the bill with the credit card and asked the waiter to strike a blank receipt when he struck our lunch bill.  He returned with a bill for 15.80, to which I added a ten percent tip and signed it.  He gave me the copy and the blank receipt.  Next week that blank receipt would be filled in the be 21.40 with a fifteen percent tip.  That is how I got the money to treat Nina like a Queen as we worked the cases.  We told the waiter after the bill was paid to fill up our coffee cups again, and simply chatted and sipped, till the John started to leave.  With our bill already paid, we simply walked out right beside him.  We walked side by side down the board walk and as we both turned into the Motel, I smiled and said, "Small World".  We let them get the lead and walked right behind them to their rooms, and continued on to our room.  Ah, you say, you made a mistake, you said "Rooms" not "Room".  No not a mistake, I told you that these folks in the Priority One cases were very sophisticated and a lot smarter than Joe Six Pack.  They had checked into two adjoining rooms.  She went into one he into another.  When we returned to our room It became clear what he was up to.  Our room had a door in the wall that when opened, you faced another door that could only be opened by the guest in the next room.  When both doors were opened they now were a suite of two rooms.  But how can we ever prove that this is what was happening.  We watched the rooms that night to see if they were stupid enough to turn off the lights in one of the rooms when they were together in the other.  No luck, both lights stayed on and both went off almost at the same time when they went to bed.  The questions simply got bigger and bigger.  If they were making love, in what room, how will we determine when they are both in one of the rooms.  No raid is possible till we solved this dilemma.  But we had the nest, and half the job was over.

We stayed the night, had a very expensive dinner, went to a night club and dance the night away.  Asking the band to play "I Love How You Love Me" (Click to
play the song/continue reading as it loads
) over and over.  That is simple to do when you walk up to the band leader with a five dollar bill stretched out in your hand every time.  Walked hand in hand, barefoot in the sand of the beach.  We returned to our room and made wild passionate love till three in the morning.  Now we were Kevin and Nina, two lovers, not working private detectives.  The expense account would show all these expenses were work related.

Sunday we returned home, went directly to the office and let ourselves in with our keys.  I dictated the report into Willoby's secretary's Dictaphone.  She will turn it on first thing Monday and transcribe all the reports before noon.  Willoby will know the problems and the successes we have had by afternoon.  I got a call from him at my daytime job on Tuesday morning, asking if he can meet me for lunch at the hotel.  He called Nina also.  We met him for lunch and talked over the problems, trying to figure a way to get them together at the time of any raid.  Right now, we had nothing but the nest.  We didn't even have anything to even suggest adultery.  This could be explained as what he is saying it is, a working weekend.  Willoby asked if this was costing a lot of money.  We assured him it was very expensive.  Nina and I glanced at each other and simply smiled.  He replied," I thought it would, try to take it a little easy".  We nodded, but couldn't wait to get back to "Wildwood By The Sea".

During these weekends, when I was away working or even when I just spent the weekend with Nina making love, We were very careful to keep our affair as a closely guarded secret as we could.  Nina and I would both go over my clothes to be sure there was no tell tale indication that I had been with another woman.  Many a shirt or perfume smelling sweater went home in Nina's bags to be laundered.  I was almost sure but couldn't be positive, that Mary had no idea of what I was doing.  She never questioned me, but by now we never went to bed as husband and wife.  This also caused her no problem.  Nina asked me months ago if I was having sex with Mary.  I assured her that I had not touched Mary since the weekend on Loon Lake.  It wasn't a sacrifice on my part, I had nothing left to give Mary after Nina got through with me.

When we weren't working, I was at Nina's place.  I spent less and less time at home, but was very careful to attend to my daytime job as though nothing had changed, But it had!!  I was leading a double and very dangerous life.  We were very discreet when I would visit Nina, always using the back stairs and parking blocks away.  Mary never suspected, and because I was bringing home astronomical sums of money, she never complained or even questioned me.  It got so that I would say, "Going out" and she would reply, "Be sure to lock up when you get home." Nina knew everything about me and did everything she could to insure that nobody would learn anything about us.  She once said "Kevin, I don't think I will ever have you all to myself, but I love you so much I'll take any part of you I can get." I replied "Well work it out somehow." Knowing full well that I was trapped in a situation that had to end in heartbreak for me and one, or both, of the women I loved.  Yes I love both of them, but in different ways and in vastly different intensities.

Before Mary went off to college, her mother and her talked seriously about the fact that she was never exposed to boys to the extent other girls were.  She never had a serious boy friend, or went steady.  How could she know that there might be a young man out there, destined to be her husband? Instead of attending an all girls college, that was run by nuns, as she wished, her mother expressed the desire for her to go to a school that was a co-educational college.  Mary really wanted to please her mother and agreed to attend a co-educational college for one semester, and involve herself in as many co-educational groups as possible.  When she entered as a freshman she only expected to be here three months and then decide if she still wanted to go to the convent college.  If she made this decision, and knowing how religious and innocent she was, I firmly believe her mother thought the end result would be Mary becoming a nun.  I also think her mother would not have minded that so much if she believed it was a true vocation.  Remember this was a girl of only sixteen years of age.  Added to that her exposure to boys had been very limited.  I was a senior and the boys dorm was across the street from the girls.  We would scope out the girls with binoculars as they left the dorm to go to breakfast and than on to class.  I caught a glimpse one day of this girl with flaming red hair and freckles.  She stood out from the rest, and I asked one of my buddies to find out who she was.  He went to one of the girls he knew in the girls dorm and asked about the girl with the flaming red hair.  She told him that nobody knew very much about her yet, only that she was much younger than any of the other girls.  She also mentioned that she thinks she had been, or was going to be a nun.  He reported back with the opinion that I should forget the whole thing, I don't stand a chance of putting any move on her.  I didn't want to "Put any Move" on her.  I only wanted to meet her, she intrigued me.  I didn't forget it, and pursued her.  She was wearing saddle shoes and plaid skirts,with the blanket pin in the front like the rest of the girls, and being a Catholic myself I could relate to her.

The boys and girls all ate together at the main cafeteria.  Seldom did the boys sit with the girls.  The tables sat about fourteen and the girls sat on one side of the room and the boys on the other.  No rule about this existed, it was just how everyone felt more comfortable.  It was a happy time.  Someone would start to sing and the whole room would join in.  I kept an eye on her as much as I could and never saw her with any boys.  She was always alone.  One day, as everyone was leaving the cafeteria after dinner, I sort of rushed ahead of many of them to be in a position to be able to walk next to her as she was leaving.  We walked out next to each other and I said shyly, "My name is Kevin".  I received only a blank stare in return.  The next night I did the same rushing ahead thing and this time I said, "Would you mind if I walked along with you back to the dorms?" This time I got a reply.  "Sure Kevin, we both are going the same way".  Wow, I thought, she remembered my name.  We walked together for many nights and neither of us spoke very much.  I than started a conversation on a subject that I thought she would reply to.  I asked if she was a catholic girl because I was a catholic guy.  Yes, I already knew that she was, but was desperate to get some sort of conversation going.  She surprised me with what she said next.  "Why is it Kevin, that I have never seen you at mass?" There was only one Mass on Sunday and that was at ten thirty in the morning.  Not being stupid, I realized I may have just been given an opening.  I started going to ten thirty Mass, and we would walk together back to our dorms.  She was shy, pretty and very smart.  Now the conversations became more frequent and we found out a lot about each other.  After a few weeks I asked her if she would be my date at the "SNOW BALL DANCE", the culmination of the fall semester in November.  She declined saying, she won't be here for the dance.  As the weeks rolled by and we walked together back to the dorms, we got to know each other very well, and I liked her a hell of a lot and I detected a change in her.  For the first time she held my hand as we walked.  We went on a hay ride to a barn dance, and on the return trip, they provided blankets and Mary and I were wrapped together because it was very cold.  I could tell she was not comfortable with it but I liked it a lot.  Before the night was over, she relaxed, realizing, that I was not going to try anything on her.  I would have been a damn fool to try, that would have ended our relationship right there and then.  By the time we reached the dorms,she was actually cuddling.  We went to a few movies and shared a few Ice cream sodas.

Following the lunch with Willoby, where we talked over the progress of the case in Wildwood, Nina and I realized that we were in a bind on this one.  More meetings with Willoby followed trying to figure out a way of getting the evidence we needed to prove adultery was taking place between the business man and his secretary.  Willoby decided to "Lets first get all our ducks in a row." We were instructed to get back to Wildwood, and get our documenting photographs first.  We spent a few more wonderful weekends there enjoying the good life and succeeded in getting pictures of the two of them, at pool side.  At dinner, walking together on the boardwalk.  We lucked out one night, when they left the motel and walked inland.  We followed them to a very secluded night club on a small back street.  We took a big gamble that night, that in hindsight we probably should not have taken.  We waited outside for a few minutes after they went in and couldn't decide if that short meeting with them on the boardwalk weeks ago, the one where I said "Small World", gave either one of them time to get a good enough look at either of us.  If they remembered us from that meeting, and now saw us walk in to this out of the way place, our cover has been blown.  We gambled, since we were in different clothes and both were wearing sunglasses at the first meeting.  It was over six weeks ago, and we gambled that they would not recognize us.  The correct procedure, would have been to call Willoby and tell him we needed another team here as soon as possible.  Another team could have been on site in an hour and a half.  We knew that another priority one team was working a weekend case in Atlantic City.  What we didn't know was if Willoby could get them here in time.  We didn't know what kind of place this was, and how long they intended to stay inside.  The sign outside said "Rathceller".  Not wanting to miss an opportunity to possibly get our first picture of them in a compromising situation, we decided to risk it and go inside.

It was a German beer garden with a German "Umphlaa" band that played all German songs.  They were sitting at a table and we sat at the bar with our backs to them, but by glancing up from time to time into the big mirror behind the bar we were able to watch what they were doing.  Nina said we got to remember this place.  She loves her beer.  The band played a song called Lilly Merlyn.  And lo and behold up they got and started to dance, closely, she with her head on his chest.  Bosses on a working weekends don't take their secretaries out dancing.  And if they ever did, they certainly don't dance that way.  We knew for sure at that moment, that adultery was taking place in one of those two rooms, but still didn't have the answer of how to prove it.  We snapped a few clandestine pictures and got the living hell out of there.  We returned to our room and spent the entire night committing adultery ourselves, and loving every minute of it.

When the pictured were developed, they all came out good and Willoby was pleased.  He asked me to drop in after work on Wednesday.

so he could get them titled by place taken, date and time taken.  When I arrived he was closed in his office with a client and his secretary asked me to wait.  I sat in one of the chairs and picked up a magazine from the table.  It was from a company that provides equipment for detective agencies, a sort of a catalog.  In glancing from page to page briskly, looking often at Willoby's door, I wasn't really reading just sort of scanning.  I turned a page looked, turned another looked, and was about to turn again when the third page back registered on my mind.  I turned back to see what it was on this page that should have interested me.  I looked down the items.  The first was a briefcase that when the device you snap to close it is un-snapped, starts a tape recorder going, that is hidden in a secret compartment.  It will record for an hour every thing spoken within ten yards of it.  Other things like that till, I got near the bottom.  Here was the answer to solving the Wildwood case.  It offered for sale, for one hundred fifty dollars, a small, battery powered, FM transmitter the size of a deck of cards.  The signal it sends could be received up to one hundred yards away, but the closer, the stronger.  The receiver was much larger because it contained a signal strength booster.  It struck me at once, that at night Nina and I turned off the air conditioner and opened the louver type windows in the front of our motel room to get fresh cool air blowing in from the sea when we went to bed.  If the businessman and his lover were doing the same thing, this device simply placed on the window sill outside their open window, will tell us word for word, sound for sound what we needed to know.  I took the magazine into Willoby's office and told him my idea.  He said to first find out if they are opening their louvered windows as we were.  If they were he would order two sets, one for the business man's window and one for his secretaries room.  He said he needed to order the small tape recorded that was listed as an accessory for each.  The next time his wife called and said he was off on another weekend, Nina and I drove down to Wildwood and checked into the Motel.  Enjoyed another weekend, and asked for a call from the front desk at 3 Am.  When the call came in we dressed and went out for a stroll that took us past their rooms.  Sure enough they were doing the exact same thing we were doing.  The windows were cranked wide open with the curtain in the room closed.  Another call from the desk, on Saturday night, or should I say 3 a.m. Sunday morning, proved the same thing had been done again.  With this information, Willoby was convinced that my idea would work and ordered the transmitters, receivers and tape recorders.  Nina and I now had the time we wanted to vacation on Cape Cod.  Mary took the children and went to visit her mother and stayed until only three days before school started.  I was alone in my home all that time.  I, of course was at Nina's place almost all the time, but careful to show the neighbors that I was home, mowing the lawn, sitting on the front porch.  Nina always wondered what my home was like, and suggested that she come over and spend a few nights at my place while Mary and the children were away.  This caused me to vacillate.  I couldn't bring Nina into my home.  No matter how I tried to rationalize it, a feeling of extreme guilt arose in me every time the subject came up.  I didn't want Nina to know how I was feeling and simply kept putting the visit off.  I felt, to bring her into my home, was a violation to Mary, not me.  Okay, I was having an affair, committing adultery, all the bad things I already had admitted to myself were wrong, but I was going to do them anyway.  To bring Nina into my home, to sleep with her in my marriage bed, to sit with her at my kitchen table, was impossible for me to do.  There are no words that would be able to explain this to anyone.  It had to be something so deep inside me that I didn't even know it existed.  Nina never entered my home.

The devices arrived and we tested them out to get a good handle on how they worked.  How far away they could receive, how to hook the recorders up, and still be able to hear the conversation.  With this done, the plans were laid.  The summer was fast coming to a close, and we may not be able to get two chances to pull this off, before Labor Day and the close of the season at Wildwood.

Willoby was a meticulous kind of guy.  He wanted to be sure our idea would work in reality, as we thought it would work in theory.  The weekend following their arrival and test we all drove to the Motel in Wildwood.  Willoby checked in to a room at one end of the Motel, Nina and I took the room that was the furthest away from his as we could get.  He opened the louvered windows, placed the transmitter on the outside windowsill leaning against the inside screen and turned on the television in the rooms to a very low volume.  Nina and I were in our room and could hear the TV plainly.  Willoby came to our room and we hooked the recorder to the receiver and recorded for a half an hour.  Everything worked exactly as it should have worked when we played back the tape.  We also were able to hear the TV as the device was recording it.  Not wanting to waste the day, or give the proprietor the impression something was wrong, we all spent the remainder of the time enjoying the seaside.  Plans were made to plant one transmitter at her window, the second at his window.  Another operative was assigned to the case as a third witness to the recording of any conversation, and to take possession of the tapes immediately and to place them directly into Willoby's hands at once.  The plan worked like a charm.  Nina waited in our room with the other operative.  I waited outside their rooms in the car till the lights went out and quickly placed a transmitter at each screen and walked back to our room to find them enthralled with what was going on in his room.  A recording of wild passionate love was unfolding as we listened, complete with sounds of a bed squeaking and moans of passion.  We recorded all we needed and retrieved the transmitters.  The tapes were taken at once to Willoby at his home.  We checked out the next morning to never return again to the "Wildwood On The Sea" case.  Willoby had the tapes transcribed.  With the pictures, the transcripts in hand he met with the wife and her lawyer.  As usual, confronted with the enormous amount of documentation of adultery, a divorce, on the grounds of incompatibility, was agreed to, with the business man retaining just about only the shirt on his back, in the agreed to settlement of marital assets.  He was forced to sell his business to come up with the needed cash for the settlement.  As time passed we learned that the secretary divorced her husband and married the businessman.  Needless to say, these transmitters and receivers would revolutionize the way we operated from this time on.

The first few months, when I was just getting to know Mary, were a very slow progression.  We got to know each other and sometimes, I'd go over to the girls dorm, and the housemother would call up to the floor and tell them there is a young man in the lobby to see Mary.  She had to come down, it was required by the code of conduct.  No man was permitted to pass the housemothers desk for any reason, and If one visited, the code required the lady to come down to see what he wanted.  The young lady had the option of "flagging" certain young men, by telling the housemother she didn't wish to see him in the future.  Mary never flagged me, but did flag my roommate, after his first visit, when he decided it would be nice to get to know her also.  I started to bring over my senior thesis for her to read.  Her opinion was that I will never graduate, with the spelling, grammar, and sentence construction as it is now.  She suggested that I give her all the work I have done so far, and she will correct it and type it for me.  In early November she asked me if I had gotten a date yet for the dance, and when I replied no, she said she changed her mind and would by happy to go with me.  Now I was faced with a real dilemma.  I never thought I would have a date for the dance and made no plans or arrangements to go to it.  Now I needed a Tuxedo, a car, and money for a corsage.  I was making all my spending money playing the five string banjo and guitar in a three man string band that went from bar to bar, town to town, every Friday and Saturday night.  The other guys were also college students, one played the mandolin the other a fiddle.  We would go in, order a ginger ale and opened up the instruments.  We started singing in three part harmony, well known songs and progressed back to songs that were sung in the early twenties.  Before very long we had everyone in the bar singing along and the ginger ale became beer for the other guys and I stuck with ginger ale.  We never had to pay for any, except the first drink.  After that, they just kept coming free.  After an hour or an hour and a half we passed the hat, packed up the instruments and headed to the next bar and did the same thing.  We earned at least twenty dollars each every weekend and that was plenty of spending money for the week.

This wasn't anything near the money I would need to take Mary to the Snow Ball Dance.  I called home and told my mom that I think I had met the girl I was going to marry and I needed some money to take her to our first formal dance.  She said she will talk it over with dad.  A week went by with no word, and I was getting worried.  That weekend, the house mother called up to my room and said, "Your parents are here to see you".  There they both stood in the lobby along with both of my sisters.  They had come to meet Mary.  We went across the street to the girls dorm and had the housemother page Mary down.  In the mean time I told them that I had not asked her yet and please don't bring up that subject till I did.  Mary arrived, and we all sat in her lobby talking.  She impressed the hell out if them.  Mom said on the way out, "I knew that some girl would get to you some day, she's just wonderful".  There was a touch of sadness in her words.  Out side, next to their car, my father turned and hugged me, reached back and pulled out his wallet and handed me every single dollar that was in it.  It was empty as he returned it to his pocket.  He never did express his emotions very much in words, always in his actions and reactions to situations.  This was his way of telling me he agreed with mom.  I often thought, "how did he buy gas on the way home?" I ordered the Tuxedo and a corsage of a Black Orchard.  Now the only thing left was the car.  The next day my oldest sister called.  She and her husband lived in Binghamton, about a two hour drive south east of the college.  She was with mom and dad at the college and overheard me telling them that I sure wish I had a car for the dance.  She had talked it over with her husband and I was to take a bus down to her place on the Friday before the dance and return with their car, driving it back Sunday and returning to college by bus.  She would give me the money for the bus fare.  The car dilemma was solved.  We went to the dance, our relationship blossomed, she remained with me at college and we were engaged to be married at the party my parents held for that purpose following my graduation.  Our first child was born twelve months after our marriage.  Yes, Mary was a virgin.

Even before I met Nina, Mary and I seldom had sexual relations that were not initiated by me.  After I met Nina, I seldom had sexual relations that were not initiated by me.  After I met Nina I never initiated anything.  From the time of the weekend at Loon Lake I did not have any sexual relationship with Mary.  Nina was way more than enough for me.  It was months later, that I started to notice that Mary was becoming more attentive and changing the way she dressed.  Her normal attire would be a skirt and blouse, free flowing hair, and no makeup of any kind.  This trait in a lady always impressed me.  That they were pretty enough without makeup.  The changes were subtle and slow, the skirt and blouse gave way to tight sweater and blue jeans.  The hair was pulled back into a pony tail, and for the first time a light pink lipstick was used.  Most of all she smelled different.  Not a light perfume like Nina, but a clean smell like Ivory soap.  She also started to make dinners my mother used to make, things that she had, up till now, said she did not like, but now enjoyed.  I knew something was up, this was not my Mary [the Sister Mary that taught third grade image] This was Mary the tom boy.  She intrigued me, as she first did in college, and for the first time that I can remember, kissed me all by herself.  One night when I was home for a few nights because Nina was having her period, and was downstairs smoking my pipe, she came down, {NEVER BEFORE has this happened}.  She took me by the hand and said "You've been down here long enough lets go to bed", {NEVER BEFORE has this happened}.  We walked upstairs checked the kids, and went into our bedroom.  I undressed and climbed into bed and Mary went into the bathroom.  The light on the end table was still on, when holy mackerel, out of the bathroom she comes completely naked, walks over to bed, turns off the light and gets into bed with me.  We got right down to business, she knew how I liked it done.  I never for a moment thought of Nina.  I probably should have.  I could have pretended some sort of illness.  I ask you though, how under these circumstances, do you reject your own wife lying naked with you in your own bedroom.  I was actually being sexually assaulted by my own wife, and this never had happened to me before.  She was more intense and showed much more emotion than ever before {Still Nothing like wild thing Nina} but it was enough to bring me to a climax.  After this happened, she arose, went to the bathroom, and came out wearing her usual night gown.  She kissed me, said goodnight, and went into her side of the bed.  I go up, took a quick shower and also went to bed thinking nothing more of the incident.  The very next day "SISTER MARY" was back in the kitchen.  Gone were the jeans and the lipstick and pony tall.  I never will be able to understand woman, they do the strangest things.  

    About three months passed that were like the months before.  I had forgotten the incident in the bedroom, and of course never mentioned it to Nina.  Mary and I were alone in the kitchen, when she turned to me and said, "Kevin, I just came from the doctor, and I hope this one is a boy."{The three kids are all girls} I was shocked and speechless, I tried to act happy, but the only thing I could think of was, how will I explain this to Nina? will she leave me? Oh my God again, WHAT HAVE I DONE It seems no matter what I do I have to send myself in a guilt trip.  This time the guilt was directed toward Nina, I had to tell her she would find out.  I know now that I handled this badly, and should have planned more carefully, how I told Nina that Mary was pregnant.  I left home after supper telling Mary the usual lie that I had a job.  I drove directly to Nina's place and parked in my car in the usual hiding spot and climbed the back stairs.  

    Nina was in the kitchen and as usual greeted me with a hug and a kiss.  As we parted she said, "what's new".  I Like a damn fool just blurted out, "Mary's pregnant".  She turned and said, "Some joke Kevin"!!!  I said at once, No Nina, I'm sorry, but it isn't a joke she is pregnant.  Nina went ashen white, and tears welled up in her eyes.  She stood motionless for the longest time.  I didn't know what to say next, when she became completely unglued.  She said I was a dirty two timing son of a bitch, sleeping with Mary all the time you were sleeping with me.  But--But--But, was all that got out of my mouth, before the frying pan she had been washing was hurled at my head.  Had I not raised my arm, and deflected it, it would have hit me in the face.  "Get out!  Get Out!  You Bastard!!  I never want to lay eyes on you again".  Again I tried to explain that she had it all wrong, when she came close and with both fists started to pound on my chest.  Now the tears were flowing freely and she was very very mad and screaming "OUT-OUT".  Now, for the first time, I realized I had done this thing very badly and turned and went down the back stairs, the door slammed loudly behind me.  I thought that tomorrow at work, when she cools down, she'll give me the opportunity to explain.  I went back home telling Mary the job was canceled.  All night long I rehearsed.  I had to explain that only once since the weekend at the lake, had I slept with Mary.  I thought that she would come back with something like, "Oh it was the milk man." She always had a way of disarming sticky situations between us.  Then I could explain all the circumstances and that I truly now believe, I was seduced by my own wife.  And that "ONE" time resulted in her getting pregnant.  That I also believe Mary knew she would get pregnant.  Once she hears the true story she'll understand and forgive me.

    The next night I drove to the Agency again rehearsing, but when I arrived, Nina was not in car number six with the job for tonight as she always was.  Instead Lena, the 62 year old lady that I first drove with was in the passenger seat with the job for the night.  I got in and said, "Where's Nina"? She told me that Nina came in early and spent about an hour in Mr.  Willoby's office, and that she was crying and Mr.  Willoby was pacing around like he always does when there is a big problem.  She's working in car number four now with Chuck Blass!  "Start her up now Sunny and lets go to work, It's me or nobody"!  All my worst fears were coming true.  I had lost her, and to make the situation worse Mr.  Willoby had taken me off priority one cases and Lena and I were back following Joe 6 pack.  He was cold and distant and I knew that Nina had unburdened herself to him and he was mad at ME.

    I continued to work with Lena, night after night, at times getting a glimpse of Nina now and than.  But she never again came to the pub.  She would hang up on me every time I tried to telephone her.  I was miserable and lonely.  I was drinking very heavily when I was at the pub.  Tom and Astra, noticed Nina's absence and the change in me, and were starting to get very worried about me.  I had in a drunken moment told them the whole story, but even that didn't help.  I wanted my Nina to come back, but now over two months had passed and nothing was changing.  I had become a mess.  I was uncommunicative at work, biting people's heads off if they even looked at me wrong, but diving into the jobs as they came along.  I worked as much as I could because when I wasn't completely absorbed, I immediately thought of Nina and sorrow just overwhelmed me.  At home I was the same way, I blamed Mary for all that was happening to me, but never dared express how I felt to her.  Now forty years later, as I write this account of these years in my life I can identify what was going on.  Today they would call it, "Severe Depression".  I never had a thought of suicide, but yearned for it all to go away.  I was so in love with Nina, nothing mattered anymore since I lost her.

        A few more weeks went by, and I met Tom for lunch at the hotel, and he made it a point to ask me to be sure to come to the pub that night.  When I arrived Tom and Astra were at the little bar and not in the private room.  When I approached them, they said there is a GUY in our booth that wants to talk to you.  By now nothing could bother me, and I left them, not even inquiring who it was and what he wanted, and walked dejectedly into the darkness of the private room.  Someone had blown out all the candles on all the tables, except the one in our booth.  I went toward our booth and it was empty.  I glanced around and there standing by the side of the juke box, deep in it's shadow, I saw a figure and walked toward it.  As I got closer, I saw that it was NINA.  She was crying and as I rushed to her.  She put her hands to her face and sobbed.  "Oh Kevin, I'm so sorry for what I said to you, and what I thought you had done".  She had been drinking, and was a little drunk.  The scene was very soggy because I started to cry also.  We held each other for the longest time.  Neither saying a word.  Still holding her close, I reached around to the front of the juke box and played our song, "I Love How You Love Me".  (Click to
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)  The silver arrows started and we danced to the soft slow music in the dark.  I held her so tight, my heart was just leaping with happiness.  While we were dancing, I asked her If she would let me explain what happened.  She stopped me and said that won't be necessary, Astra told her.  It seems Tom and Astra were getting so concerned about me, they decided to get involved, and try to bring us back together.  They both visited Nina at her apartment and while Tom stayed in the kitchen Nina and Astra went into the living room.  Astra told Nina they were here to talk about Kevin.  Nina became very upset, saying there is nothing they could say that would change the facts.  That's when Astra told her, "You don't know the facts", "You never gave Kevin a chance to tell you the facts", "but your going to sit there and hear them from me right now".  Having heard the story from me, Astra told her that Kevin had been always faithful to her and explained about the seduction.  Nina was dumb struck and asked Astra if she was sure.  Before she could answer she said, "You mean he only did it that one time?" Astra nodded and Nina lowered her head and cried and later agreed to the reunion at the pub.  I was overjoyed and a healing of body and soul followed.  Everyone noticed the change.  I had regained the love of my life, and so help me God, nothing in the world was ever going to separate us again.

The Monday after our separation ended, both Nina and I were sitting in Mr.  Willoby's office before he came in to work.  When he came in it was only seven thirty in the morning, and he seemed very surprised to see us both sitting there.  He inquired, "well what the hell is this all about?" We both started speaking together and he said, "Hold it, damn it, one at a time." I looked at her, she looked at me, we both looked at Mr.  Willoby and said nothing, each waiting for the other to start.  A moment of complete silence followed.  "OK-OK you two idiots seem to have come to an understanding, are you both ready to work together again???" We both nodded.  He rose and started his pacing thing, pointing his finger at us and said.  "OK,-OK your both back in car six and on priority one cases, and if you ever pull any more of this shit on me again, you'll both find yourself out on the street".  I stood up, Nina stood up, we both extended our hand to shake.  He was still doing his pacing thing and said, "get the hell out of here the both of you, I hope you realize the breakup of your team cost me a ton of money".  Mr.  Willoby was an old time cop, said what he thought and meant every word he said.  We turned and left, both of us realizing, we were leaving the office of the nicest man in the world, and maybe the best actor.  He knew now quite well who I was, and who Nina was, and what our life together was when we weren't in car six.  This never bothered him for a moment, but as I was to find out much later, it was bothering his wife.

Tom and Astra, always worked the bread and butter cases, The Joe 6 pack jobs, and knowing how they were, I wasn't surprised, when after the weekend at Loon Lake, were happy as hell that Nina and I were moved up to all priority one work.  Ever since her divorce, Astra and Tom have been inseparable.  Tom's two kids are with his wife and because he is from a large and mob connected family, and his wife, also from the same.  Their marriage was arranged when they were both small children, as it is often done in Sicily.  Both fathers were low level soldiers, in a large Mafia family.  They did the grunt work, Numbers, Collection, Gambling.  and that sort of work.  Neither had a great deal of influence higher up, but both, according to Tom, were Made Men.  Tom's father came directly from Sicily, as did his mother.  He was determined that Tom would not become involved with what he was doing and thus Tom went off to college to get the education that he lacked.  Today forty years later, and following his father's death, Tom is involved and quite deeply.  He now lives with his second wife (not Astra) in Chicago.  About three years into Tom's marriage, they started to have the noisiest fights.  Screaming and hollering at each other at the top of their lungs.  No blows were ever struck by Tom, but she smacked him in the face lots of times.  Police were called to their house by neighbors many times.  Higher ups in the organization heard about this and told both Tom's father and Angela's father to straighten this out right away.  Police involvement by anyone had to be stopped at once.  The solution as I understand it, was to order Tom to move out.  Divorce was out of the question since they were both catholic.  He was to support his wife and two children, and to visit with the children every time he visited his mother.  His mother was to call and have one of the men pick them up and have them at her house, when he visited.  Angela was not to interfere in any way with this arrangement.  He was warned to keep his nose clean, and bring no more notoriety to his family, or the organization.  He was on probation, so to speak, and the results of his failing to conduct himself properly, could result in very serious consequences.  He packed his things, and moved in with Astra, who had been in his life for two years.  According to Nina, things are not all that rosy between them, as it appears on the surface.  Tom has a hell of a temper and an insatiable sexual appetite.  Astra told Nina that he is built like a horse.  I have no idea how they arranged it, but Astra has found Tom a partner.  Astra is in no way opposed to sharing Tom.  She told Nina that she's to old now to handle it two times a day seven days a week.  The girls name is Barb, and she is about twenty five, and a little on the heavy side, on both the top and on the bottom.  She works as a barmaid at the truck stop out on the interstate.  She has her own apartment and has never been married.  The word on the street is that she has had two children, delivered them both at a home for unwed mother's and placed them both up for adoption.  She has been coming to the Pub, and many nights she and Tom leave together.  Sounds strange but it does not seem to bother Astra.

On one occasion, at the pub I noticed that Barb was wearing the same, perfume that Nina always wore.  I mentioned this to her and she pulled open the top of her blouse, and leaned over, exposing cleavage, and said, "Here get a good smell".  I sat back for a moment in surprise and jokingly started to take her up on it, when everyone a the table laughed, except Nina.  She stood up and grabbed Barb by the hair and said," "What in the hell do you think your doing, outside, outside, right now".  They went outside, Nina pushing Barb from the back, and when they went outside, their screaming and hollering could be heard inside the pub.  I learned later that Nina beat her up very badly.  Nina came back alone, composing herself, as she entered.  She came back to the booth and as she was sitting down, put her hand under my chin and raised my head and gave me a big kiss on the lip.  It was not a tender kiss and I believe to this day it was to send a message to all that saw it.  Not a soul at the table said a single word or ever again mentioned the subject in our presence.  Later when we were alone dancing I asked her what was that all about.  She replied that all you men are the same, you have to be hit over the head, before you notice what is going on around you." Can't you see the way she looks at you?" "Can't you see where she sits every time she comes here?" "Does she sit next to Tom? No, she plops her fat ass next to you!"  "You don't notice the touching on your arm when she talks to you?" "You don't notice how she twirls her finger in her hair when she looks at you?" "She's got her eye on you, and tonight, with my perfume"!!!!   "WELL, she won't bother you again, I saw to that!"  I said to her, "She wasn't bothering me at all!"  Nina said, "GEEZE Christ", and pulled me closer.  She put her head on my chest and started to sing the song that was playing on the juke box.  "I Love How You Love Me".  (Click to
play the song/continue reading as it loads
).  Her perfume filled the air, and I was so much in love with her.

It took a few days for the agency rearrange case loads.  Mr.  Willoby had been shifting Priority One cases to the office outside of Washington DC.  They had been slow, and had a first rate ONE team.  It was about a week later he gave us the most challenging of all the cases we ever handled.  The Washington office sent a lady to see Mr Willoby.  She was the wife of a state department executive, that was in charge of the Spanish to English translation section.  This guy had his own private airplane, and spoke about five languages, and carried a Ph.d. from Harvard.  He came from one of the most politically connected families on Long Island N.Y.  He was often included in affairs at the Kennedy estate in Hianissport.  His wife was absolutely certain he was having an affair.  He was away almost every weekend, he had lost interest in her, and her intuition told her he had a lover on the side.  Because of the grapevine in Washington, and because of the high visibility of this guy, and his connections, it was decided to move this case to our location.  Nina and I got it.

The first problem we had to face, is how do you follow a guy flying an airplane? Meetings were held and brain storming and ideas back and forth.  Finally a plan evolved.  It seems that when a private pilot takes off he is required by law to file what is called a "FLIGHT PLAN".  Saying where he is flying to, and when he will arrive there.  Mr.  Willoby said he had some connections, and could call in a favor, and he would handle this part himself.  Two weeks passed and Mr.  Willoby called us into his office and told us he was flying to a small airport outside of Islip NY on Long Island, and to get our asses up there this weekend.  Leaving well before dawn, we were there Saturday morning and watched him land.  He took a Taxi to a town on the south shore called Bayshore, and walked on to a ferry.  We abandoned the car and walked on behind him.  We received strange stares and felt we were being scrutinized.  The ferry was full of men, very few women, and the women that were there, were in pairs together.  When the ferry docked, we simply walked along with the mob, and found ourselves in a village called Cherry Grove on Fire Island.  We followed him to a small bungalow where he was greeted be a very young man lounging on the sun deck.  The young man rose, greeted him and followed him into the bungalow as he went in.  They both came out later dressed in swim trunks and towels draped over their shoulders.  He and the young man went to the beach.  With Nina and I following at a distance.  They spent the best part of the morning and afternoon suntanning on the beach and returned to the little house.  It was Nina's comment that sent us scurrying back to catch the last ferry.  We were out of sight, behind some sand dunes watching with binoculars in the direction of the beach, pretending to be bird watchers.  Every once in a while we scanned over to them waiting for the girlfriend to make her appearance.  We thought this would be what we called a, "Tag Along" case.  That is when a very careful cheater always meets his girlfriend with a male friend present.  The girlfriend acts as though she is with his friend all night long, even going to the extent of dancing with him.  The play of this was very good and at times the "John" would ask her to dance and make a plain open request of his friend for permission.  Anyone seeing them would naturally assume the friend had the girlfriend and not the "John".  All this subterfuge ended when they left.  The friend disappeared and the "John" took his mistress to bed.  Nina was watching them closely with the binoculars, when she lowered them slowly, thought for a few moments, turned and handed them to me and said, "Kevin, get a good look at the guy he is with".  "He's SO young, to young to be a tag along, and he is the most beautiful creature I ever laid eyes on.  Get a load of the skimpy bathing suit he is wearing".  I looked, and sure enough, he was only a kid about nineteen or twenty.  Our guy was in his forties.  I lowered the glasses and said, "YOU DON'T THINK????" she replied, "I SURE AS HELL DO"!!!  We left at once and drove home.  We stopped by the office that night and put our report on the Dictaphone, and were back in Mr Willoby's office at noon Monday morning.  When he came in, he said "WELL WHAT YA GOT"?  We handed him the report and he started to read it and when he got to the part about the name of the town on Fire Island he didn't go a line further.  He slammed the report down on his desk and said, "HOLLY SHIT".  The pacing started.  Do you guys know what this town on Fire Island is all about"??  "No we don't" we replied.  He continued, "It is a favorite summer spot for those men and women that adhere to a different life style than most of the world".  His exact words were paraphrased by me and contained vulgarities, and four and five letter words.  Some of them rhymed with Beer followed by the vulgar word used to describe the children of unmarried women.  The reader will have to imagine what a 70-year-old retired state trooper said.  The polite word "GAY" was never spoken by him.  He also made the comment that we were luckier than hell not to have blown our cover and that we must have stood out like a sore thumb.  Being a man and woman together in a nest of all those, GD @%$*^."BEER" ETC.

New York and Virginia law is a lot more strict, and this case can't be handled like a normal one.  We will need the normal photographs, accurate testimony, corroborated by at least three people and we are going to need two teams.  He set up Nina and Lena as the lead team.  Lena was instructed to get a boyish hair cut.  Chuck Blass and I were the second team.  Chuck was already a hippy and had long hair.  We spent three nights each week, from eight to eleven, for two weeks at the "College of Dramatic Arts", taking instruction, from acting teachers, Mr.  Willoby had made all the arrangements.  We were to learn how to act as if we were Gay.  This included an entirely different way of walking, gesturing with our hands, how we talked to each other and how we presented ourselves as a couple.  The worst part for me was the dancing.  The girls had no trouble dancing together.  Chuck and I, on the other hand, found it very difficult, and were very stiff and ill at ease.  We were not getting it, until an instructor took us off be ourselves for one whole night and told us that we had to clear our minds, that meant think of nothing else but the act of dancing, and not to think of who we were dancing with.  To close our eyes, and for me to take Chuck into my arms and hold him like he was someone that I loved very much.  He referred to it as "Method Acting".  It worked, and every time I danced with him, he was Nina, but I had to keep my eyes closed, and by God, he didn't smell a bit like her at all.  By the time we were finished, Lena was the best older "Butch", with her young lover, "Nina", you ever saw, and Chuck was swishing and displaying the limp wrist like he was born that way.  He was to be the submissive man, I was to be the dominant man.  Each of us were trained to play that roll.  I can remember one of the lines he taught Chuck, and the body language that went with it.  "OH YOU SILLY SAVAGE," as he flipped his hand at me like he was waving good bye.  They warned us not to look for these traits in every Gay person.  That there are some that will act completely as you and I, but the majority have these "Affectations" to some extent.  To be accepted as Gay, we will have to be on our guard at all times and remember to never, never come "Out Of Character".  Sounds cute and funny, but this was the "Big One".  To brand a guy like this as a homosexual had to be done right, and to top it all off, his wife had not the slightest inkling of what was to be reported to her.  I was told later that this one case, made more money for the Agency, than any before or since.

A bungalow was rented on Fire Island, and we all took vacation from our daytime jobs.  We moved in and I spent the finest two weeks of loving her in my life.  We shocked Lena, who had an idea, but never knew how close, and in love we actually were.  When we were working, it was two females and two males, working as a team.  Once inside our bungalow we reverted to ourselves.  It was harder on Chuck than anyone else, Nina and I had each other and spent every spare minute we could together.  Lena was an avid reader of Romance Novels and must have brought a month's supply with her.  Chuck just sat out on the sun deck and got sunburned.  Nina and I had one drawback though.  We couldn't sit together out with Chuck for fear we might be seen.  When we did, I had to sit in a lounge chair next to him and she sat off by herself.  I can see why this resort is so well attended , it is a neat place that accepts almost any public display of affection between anyone, as completely normal behavior.  To see a couple of men kiss each other, or walk with their arms around each other's waist is an every day occurrence.  At times I had to tell Chuck that I thought he was over acting.  We would walk hand in hand ,or with our arms around each others waist, like we were taught to do, and many of the men here did.  Every once in a while he would kiss me on the cheek and snicker.  I know that his training was different than mine, but every time he did it I had to tell him to, "Cut That Shit Out", smiling broadly as I spoke to him.  There were little secluded meeting places that catered to different fantasies and fetishes.  We worked the case, and got photos of them dancing, kissing, holding hands and going in and out of their bungalow and lounging together on the beach.  Enough to indicate to an un biased jury that the man from Washington was an active homosexual.  Chuck and I danced near them once to try and overhear their conversation.  It was to say the least, "Disgusting".  We wished we had the Minolta camera, but it was so dark in this place we didn't think any pictures would come out and didn't bring it with us.  When they were dancing together and we overheard them,( I pause here to try to find the words needed--) okay we overheard them, "Talking Dirty to Each Other", It was quite, I say again, quite evident that the man from Washington had a very noticeable erection, since they, as well as Chuck and I ,were dancing in bathing suits.  This is considered a "Fun Thing" to do here.  Nina and Lena, also were dancing in bathing suits, and did not overhear the conversation but absolutely noticed the erection also.  Lena complaining, when we all returned to our table, "To Bad That Dude Is Gay".  For the first time ever, I saw Nina's face turn scarlet red as the meaning of Lena's words sank in.  He really was well endowed.  All this went into the report ,word for word, visual observations, pictures and all.  If and when we get this guy in court, we will destroy him.  We concluded that we had enough, by Wednesday of the second week and all returned home.

Now Mr.  Willoby now had the unpleasant task of telling his wife and her lawyer, that her husband did not have a girlfriend but instead had a boyfriend and was an active homosexual.  He laid the whole story out in front of them, showing them the photographs, and telling them what we were able to testify to in court.  The section in the report dealing with the dancing was highlighted in yellow marker.  For it indicated the relationship was sexual.  It seems strange even to this day, but she had not the slightest idea of his sexual deviance.  We were all rehearsing and waiting for the divorce trial to be held in Virginia, when we were informed that her husband had agreed to an uncontested divorce, that included a huge monetary settlement.  She also got everything, the house, the kids, the boat, and even his airplane.  Some big money was coming to the Agency, to sweep this thing under the table, and kill any stories or reports.  All four of us received a check for $2000.00, and were told to forget this ever happened, and to burn any notes or records we had in my possession, including any personal pictures we may have taken on Fire Island.  Nina and I went together and bought a sail boat with a bed in it, and with Mr.  Willoby's permission, put it in Loon Lake at his dock.  Nina and I spent many happy nights together there.  This case spread our reputation over the whole spectrum of Detective Agencies on the east coast, and My Willoby rented out, from time to time, one or both teams, that were able to infiltrate in gay situations.  I made a great deal of money and so did Nina.

Some of these gay cases that Willoby sent us out on were over as quick as they started.  They mainly involved background checks of people that were suspected of having homosexual leanings.  Please remember the time frame we are in, the early sixties.  The tolerance for what was considered, at that time, "Abnormal Sexual Behavior", the terms "Queer" and "Fagot" were used.  Today's term "Gay" was non existent.  Homosexuality was preached from every pulpit as, "An abomination to God".  No Gay person in their right mind would openly admit to their sexual preferences.  That's why places like Fire Island existed.  Even a rumor of this activity ,would bring reaction from employers, government agencies and at times concerned parents.  So as I said, many times we followed people, for other agencies, to determine only if they were going to known homosexual places.  Today politely called "Gay Bars" or "Bath Houses".  We worked in the exact same manner as we did adultery cases.  Once the place was found by following them, we would start to patronize this establishment as two homosexual men out for the night.  Gaining the trust of the owners and patrons was, after a few disasters, quite simple.  We soon learned that some of the stuff we had been told by the teachers in the dramatic school were stereotype actions.  That these folks acted quite like you and I, and only let their hair down when they were assured of their privacy.  We modified our behavior as time and experience went on.  Not so with Nina and Lena, Their "Butch and Girlfriend" routine seemed to work with no changes needed to their behavior.  The simple act of going frequently to a gay bar, or bath house was sufficient information to cause some of the employers to fire an employee at once.  Remember we are decades away from the passing of the "Anti-discrimination," "Sexual Harassment" and "Equal Opportunity" laws.  In this time frame we were more worried about being "Nuked" by Russia than as was said by all, "What pervert lost his or her job, because he was a fag." There were some firms that seemed to have management with a much broader mind set.  "Frequenting" was not enough for them to move an employee to a less sensitive position or at times fire them outright.  They wanted to know with documentation, that this employee was gay.  I laugh as I write this now for if you saw the word I used first in place of "Gay", you would be concerned about my objectivity.  Being a product of these times the word I wrote was "Queer".  I of course erased it.  There were two distinct types we followed.  The first was the loner.  He went to these places to pick up a sexual encounter for the night.  The second were committed couples.  The code they followed was quite clear once you understood what was going on, The single, would, by his actions, let it be known that he was looking for a date for the night.  This would attract the other singles to him and as is common in heterosexual pick up events, he selected the one that attracted him the most and would leave with that person to have a sexual encounter.  The couples were never hit upon by anyone else when they arrived.  Their committed relationship was recognized and respected.  Chuck and I , were representing that segment of the gay population.  After establishing the hang out of the person that was the suspect, we would start to patronize it to become established and recognized, When the person would come in ,we observed his behavior to determine if he had a partner that met him here and thus was a "couple guy", or a "pickup guy".  Believe it or not this made a difference to some employers.  The pickup guy was viewed as a more dangerous type.  This type in the work place could be expected to hit upon fellow employees, where as the couple guy would not.  We didn't give a damn which they were but needed to determine it for the report.  We got our pictures, sent in our report to Willoby.  He assembled it and forwarded it to the agency that had hired him to provide the "Queer Cops".  As they called us, since some never knew we were all straight as arrows and only trained to act gay.  We got so good, we even fooled other professional detectives.  Once he sent the report and it was accepted, our job was finished.  Before my career was over as a detective in 1965, I had done this same thing eighteen times.  Each case, almost a carbon copy of the other.  With the exception of the "Pedophile Scoutmaster's Case".  It was mid summer, and again a real hot one.  By now Nina and I were well known, our reputation's had grown in the industry, well beyond our own state.  Nina had done some of the industrial cases she wanted to do.  I had done some insurance fraud cases.  Together we worked, successfully, many more adultery cases.  Nothing much of any magnitude had happened in either of our lives except our love affair was the stuff that romance novels are written about.  Everything that you would find in one of them had happened to us.  In other words, both of us were eating high on the hog and enjoying every single minute of it.  I had been promoted to supervisor at my daytime job, and Nina had been moved up to front office customer representative.  We exchanged very expensive gifts at Christmases and birthdays and calibrated our anniversary.  I presented her with a diamond and onyx ring, and she gave me a gold and diamond horseshoe tie pin at the small intimate party we held at the Pub for our second anniversary.  By now our song had faded from the top ten, but Mr.  Cantalano, the owner of the Embers, insisted that the man not remove it from his machine.  Mary gave birth to our fourth child, another girl.

Willoby called us in one night to talk with us about a strange case that had been sent to him by another agency.  They specifically requested that I be assigned to this case.  It was a different case than any I had ever tackled and Willoby said he never had one quite like it before either.  I listen carefully to what it was about and inquired if this was not a job for the police and not a private detective.  He replied that if the suspicions put forth by the father of the boy involved were true than I am absolutely right.  But there is a hook.  The father, "Has A Feeling", nothing concrete to back up his feeling.  He is so sure his feeling is correct, he is willing to pay the fee of two detective agencies to gather enough information to involve the police.  His first agency mentioned that this might be the best way to go forward ,since a complaint to the police and the subsequent public investigation, would, if the investigation proved no crime had or was being committed, lead to a very expensive "Deformation of Character" law suit.  With professional private detectives working the case, the investigation is private.  If facts are established proving the allegation, than the police can become involved, If not, the subjects will never know that an investigation had been held, the matter will be dropped and no law suit will ensue.  The detective assigned to this case must be experienced in undercover and sensitive to the need for complete secrecy.  Willoby said that I was the one to handle this case, and to turn over everything I was working on for reassignment to other operatives.  He said "Thank You for coming in Kevin" and stood.  I suspect I was to get up and thank him for the case and leave, I remained sitting.  He turned and looked at me and said, "Is there something else"? I only shook my head up and down, not daring to utter the words I was thinking.  He asked if I thought I couldn't handle this case, and the opening was there for me to say what was bothering me.  "I can handle this case Mr.  Willoby, but I can't handle it alone".  The honest truth was that in every high profile case, since I started at the agency, Nina had been with me.  What I forgot.  she remembered.  What she forgot.  I remembered.  What I didn't see, she saw, what she didn't see, I saw.  The reputation we both enjoyed now was because of this fact.  We didn't make mistakes.  This reputation had led me to be assigned to this case, but that reputation was gained, by working as a team.  I was terrified that now working alone, I would screw it up".  We were literally, in our private lives and professional lives one complete person.  He asked what I was driving at.  I said "I need Nina with me".  He hesitated, walked to the window, and lit his pipe and said, You got it, "Go Get Them Tiger".  Nina's cases were reassigned and we started on The case of the "Pedophile Scoutmasters".  The boy was only twelve years old, a bright, handsome child.  He was well adjusted and got good marks in school.  He was graduated from cub scouts to Boy scouts and a big fuss was made of this accomplishment.  The troop he was assigned to had two brothers as the scout master and assistant scout master.  Both were in their early sixties.  Both unmarried, both lived together in an isolated home on a large wooded property in the country.  The troop was active, many camping trips, hikes.  advancement to eagle was very common, and it appeared to be a normal well run troop.  The boy started as a boy scout in this troop and almost at once both his mother and father noticed a change.  The boy became less communicative, his grades were lower, and he was waking at night having wet dreams.  His devotion to the troop became almost exclusive.  He attended every pool party the scoutmasters held at their home, that had an in the ground pool.  Visited the scoutmasters and spent the night.  His father tried to question him about what he did when he was at these pool parties and when he stayed overnight.  His son replied that he only was having fun, and the scoutmasters were nice to him.  This continued and got more sever till he was taken to a doctor and a physical revealed he had a very irritated penis.  It was inflamed in places and he was put on an anti- inflammatory medication.  Other than that, the doctor could find nothing physically wrong with him.  His father, attributed all this to his suspicion that both of ,or one of these men, were pedophiles and abusing his son and probable others in the boy scout troop.  He wanted to go to the police, but was convinced by a relative who was an attorney, to think carefully before he did.  If it turned out that all this was in his imagination, and the law suits that would certainly follow if he made this charge and it turned out to be something else wrong with his son.  So he went to his local private detective agency and hired them, "To Prove Him Right," before he went to the police.  Again like all the difficult cases before and all of them after, Nina sat down and analyzed what we had to work with and formulate a plan of action to get the proof we were hired to supply.  You know what we had to work with???  Absolutely nothing!   The boy was of no value.  To question him would most certainly be carried back to the scoutmasters.  If that happened, the case was blown wide open.  The scoutmasters would know they were under investigation.  After much discussions and kitchen table back and forth, we came to the inescapable conclusion that we needed another boy to join the troop.

We met with Willoby and put our plan before him.  We want you to find a boy of thirteen, maybe the son of one of his employees to join this scout troop.  We want him to modify the little transmitters and add a wire from the transmitter and add at it's end, the ear device used by people that are hard of hearing.  This wire will do nothing but make it appear that the transmitter was a hearing aid.  With this in the new boys ear and the transmitter clipped to his belt, and a small amount of instruction, It will seem he is simply a new boy with a hearing problem that needs to wear a hearing aid.  Nina and I will be able to listen to every moment of his contact with these men , in our car outside the scout meetings.  Most important we had located a spot not fifty yards from their home where we could listen to all the pool parties while looking like a couple sitting on a park bench.  If they were to make an advance on him we would be only seconds away listening and recording and intervene at once.  We than would be able to say that they attempted to violate this boy and an in depth investigation than could be launched.  The boy was found.  The son of Mr.  Willoby's secretary.  He was perfect for the job.  Thirteen, muscular, innocent and blond haired.  We worked with him for about two weeks, while Willoby got him working papers listing the job as "Actor".  We trained him to ignore anyone talking to him if he was in the pool swimming as though he did not hear them.  If he was out of the pool sunning to reply to only people that were in front of him and he could see their lips moving.  If he took his transmitter off to go in the pool, place it on the table beside the pool.  If in the house wear it at all times.  Wear it at all times at scout meetings.  we assured him we were listening to every word and were only a moment away from him.  Since we had covered every contingency we started.  We as a last safety device told the boy that if he felt at any time he wanted to leave or felt he was in danger to speak the word, "Whippoorwill", as if asking the question "is that bird a Whippoorwill?" We would immediately show up and he was to recognize us and his aunt and uncle, we would take him out saying he is needed at home.

Week after week went by, meeting after meeting, pool party after pool party, sleep over after sleep over.  Nothing happened.  We overheard the conversations between these men and not only our boy but all the boys including the son of the man that hired us.  These men were not making any improper advances, speaking only normally with all the boys and in private, treating them to nice lunches and simply allowing them to be boys.  As a last resort we asked the boy to forget his hearing aid on their kitchen table when he went into the pool at the next pool party.  Maybe we were missing something.  The conversation we overheard convince us that we were not dealing with pedophiles at all.  They were exactly what they appeared to be, The conversation that led us to this decision went like this.  The boys were all in the pool swimming.  The two brothers were sitting at their kitchen table watching them all through the window.  The transmitter had been forgotten on the table between them.

1 "That new Boy is a real good swimmer".

2 "Yes he is , to bad he is hearing impaired,"

1 Did you hear from Helen today?"(She turned out to be their sister)

2 "Yes she is bringing the children for a swim this afternoon." (Her grand children)

1 "Oh good, I want to get back to teaching Billy the Guitar."

2 "If you would have married Joan, we'd have a boy of our own to teach the Guitar." Enter a bunch of boys and lunch being served.  hearing aid back in ear.

With this in hand we told Willoby we believed these are simply two normal men that love children and we have found not one shred of evidence to even suspect them of any deviate intentions.  As far as we were concerned, this case was closed.  Further medical investigation on the boy.  This time with a pediatrician and child psychiatrist, and not the family doctor, revealed he was actively experiencing Puberty.  Joining the scout troop and boy talk with older boys had led him to discover masturbation.  Accounting for all his problems.  The drop of grades as well as the inflamed penis.  The scoutmasters were innocent, as we reported.

Loon Lake, was over a mile long, and more than a half mile wide.

It was surrounded by Willoby's wooded estate, that had only one entrance road.  The road had a metal gate that you had to have a key to open.  This seclusion is enhanced by posting and no trespassing signs on it's entire perimeter.  If there is no one staying in the main lodge, it is plain.  When there are guests in one of the cabins, the cars must be parked in the back of the lodge and the visitors walk to the cabin.  Whenever Nina and I came to use the new sailboat, we were assured that we were the only people on the compound and were totally alone.   We would come up on a Friday night, that we were not working, with the ice for the Icebox, and all the food for the entire weekend.  The boat was what is called a "Tri-meran".  That is it contains three separate hulls.  A main hull in the center that when you walk down three steps exposes a large table with a couch at each side.  This table when lowered, and the cushions from the couches moved, became a nice large double bed.  There was a toilet under one of the couches, a large ice box and a two burner alcohol stove.  The back deck was large and had a console to steer the boat when either the sails were up or you we were using the two cylinder motor in the hull below.  The outriggers were for stability but each had a hatch to store gear in.  We would either motor or sail out into the center of the lake and drop the anchor, spending the entire weekend on the boat.   By the time I came back from dropping the anchor, Nina had already taken off all her clothes and jumped into the water naked & I soon followed in the same state of undress.  We seldom dressed again till Sunday when we sailed back.  We became quite suntanned all over taking turns spreading suntan lotion over every inch of each others bodies.  This of course cause quite a few moments of intense love making.  We ate quite well, sometimes cooking a large steak on a charcoal grill on the back deck.  To say these times were very enjoyable is quite an understatement.  In the fall, we floated the sailboat over a trailer and secured it with ropes and as the trailer was pulled from the water the sailboat would follow.  It was parked for the winter in the parking lot, and even then during the winter we came to it, started a small kerosene heater and spend some wonderful nights making love.  The world seemed to be on the brink of war during these times.  Every one was building fallout shelters expecting the Russians to send an atomic bomb our way.  To have this place to go, and forget the problems of the world for a short time, was wonderful.

Nina and I were honored again, after the Fire Island case.  With the intercession of Mr.  Willoby, and because it was an election year and Mr.  Willoby made a sizable donation to the County Sheriff's election fund, we were both sworn in as Deputy County Sheriffs.  Nina and I were given photo identifications and badges.  Both of us were now, not only operatives for a detective agency, but fully recognized police officers to any other officers that were shown our credentials.  This was a perk that came in handy in many situations.  In some cases, that were in areas far away from our home base, and might involve us being in places we don't belong Sitting in a parking lot in front of a motel and pretending to be in deep conversation, is one instance that comes back to mind.  Mr.  Willoby, insisted that we check in with the local police departments before we started and present our credentials and report to them that we were working a DOMESTIC in their area.  We were not permitted to divulge the of who or why, but we could tell them the area we would be working in.  We would say we are staying at the Eagles nest bed and breakfast, in Hilltop township.  They would record this and inform all their officers that a team on Deputy Sheriffs is working in there area.  If for some reason they were called to this area -[The report to the police was] "There are two strangers sitting in a car in my motel parking lot, for over two hours now, and they are not guests here!".  They were to be careful.  If the situation involved the Deputy Sheriff, to give them the benefit of the doubt and try to resolve the problem without blowing their cover.  When the officer arrived, he shown his flashlight in our faces and said "Oh you're them!".  He went into the motel office and said, "it's a husband and wife trying to straighten out a problem between them, there okay, you don't have anything to be concerned about."

Nina and I were working a priority one case in the tourist area of the Pocono mountains in northern Pennsylvania, and were camping in a tent in a wilderness area campground.  The man we were following was no more than twenty yards away and also in a tent.  After registering, we had no equipment and had to drive to another camp ground where we brought a tent and a double sleeping bag.  The owner of the wilderness camping area, was an old guy that chewed tobacco.  When we checked in, we were second in line behind the man we were following and his lady.  Their site was 7B ours was 8B.  He registered them briskly asking no questions.  They both were wearing wedding rings, but were married to other people, and had been his guests many times before.  [remember what I told you earlier in my story, once they feel comfortable with a routine and have never been caught, they seldom change this routine].  When Nina and I stepped up to the counter to register we were given the third degree, "drivers license please." "You have a drivers license MISS?" "No sorry I don't drive", she quickly replied.  I stopped him right in his tracks, by pulling out a big wad of bills, leaning with both elbows on the counter, and peeling off a fifty and saying, "Will this cover it"? He looked at the wad, took the fifty and put it in his little metal box and said.  "your in 8B"- no change was offered and I didn't expect any.  We both turned and started for the door and something made me turn and when I did, he spat tobacco juice into a spittoon and gave me a big knowing wink.

We set up the tent and laid out the sleeping bag, gathered some wood from the pile and built a fire in the stone fireplace.  It was a heavily forested place with lots of beautiful hardwood trees towering over us.  I had camped out many times before with the boy scouts and Nina also was a girl scout, but we never camped out together.  The folks in 7B waved over and we waved back.  They didn't move toward us, and I thought that strange because the wave was very friendly and I thought, "Oh boy, there going to come over here", but they didn't.  I found out later from a friend who does a lot of camping, that there is a code of conduct among campers.  "If your not invited in, you don't go in".  The reason they stayed in their camp site was because after the wave, I should have gestured for them to come over.  A very lucky break for Nina and I.  We spent a beautiful evening and after dark roasted hot dogs on sticks, over the fire and drank beer...lots of beer!!  They were in their tent right after dark, no camp fire.  This guy was a smart one, he had almost the perfect set up to make love to his girl friend, complete isolation.  The chain on the entrance went up at 11 p.m., no cars down the little dirt road at night.  To hit this guy with the warrant and make the arrest, the raiding party will have to all check in here as campers.  But thank god that was their problem, our job was now almost complete.  So we thought!!  Nina and I undressed each other and by the light of the flashlight hanging from the clip on the top of the tent, made the most wild passionate love imaginable.  Doing the most forbidden acts of love making to each other with complete abandon.  Trying our best, both of us, to bring pleasure to the other.  After we had NORMAL sex and rested a for a while.  She started that ,"AROUND THE WORLD" stuff on me, and it was seductive, loving and explosive.  After she finished and we were resting a second time.  I thought, "god almighty, this girl must love the hell out of me, to have done that to me a second time.  She had not done that, since "THAT NIGHT".  and again it was spontaneous by her and not requested by me.  I had been to a few "Smokers"(dirty movies) in college, and saw men doing things to women that at "THAT" time, I thought were unnatural, vulgar, and, "no man would do that"!!!! "and no woman would allow that"!!!!  But I had a beautiful naked young girl lying on her back next to me, and she loved me enough to do that to me, than by god, I was going to do it to her.  Not knowing what reaction I would get from her.  If she would do as she normally did, or even allow me to do it.  I leaned over and slowly, dwelling like she did on each part, kissed her forehead, her eyes, her lips, her neck, her breasts, her navel, her stomach, each of her inner thighs, and when I reached the point of no return, she went absolutely insane with passion.  Her body was undulating up and down and from side to side.  She grasped the hair on the top of my head with both hands and held me to her.  At a point she went rigid and the tugging on my hair stopped and her arms fell to her sides.  I continued as her hands grasped the fabric of the new sleeping bag.  Her knees straightened and she seemed to be involved in some sort of convulsion.  I knew I had brought her to an orgasm but this was more intense and longer lasting than any I have ever experienced in all our love making to this moment.  It continued and continued and as it did, I continued and continued until she went completely limp and motionless.  Her hands released their grip on the sleeping bag and she seemed to have fainted.  I crawled up next to her and didn't know what to do or say.  She was breathing violently hard but her eyes were closed and she didn't respond to me.  I shook her and asked "ARE YOU ALRIGHT???"  I did it a second time, and again but got no response from her.  I started to get worried since I was now in a situation that I had caused, but had never before witnessed and didn't know what was going on.  The ladies in the "Smoker" movies didn't react this way.  A few moments passed and her eyes opened and tears rolled down her cheeks and she said, "Oh Kevin, let me rest a few minutes".  Her breathing started to return to normal and she recovered her composure a few minutes later, sat up, and hugged and kissed me for the longest time.  While doing this, she noticed my condition.  She jokingly said to me, "Is that thing still awake"?  She went after me again.  I had hoped she would.  I didn't know it when I started this on her what her reaction would be and I didn't realize either that this stuff drives a man crazy when he sees a woman reacting the way she did.  She went after me again, this time with a giggle and a girlish playfulness.  I will never tell another soul what she did to me this time, except to say she put it to sleep.  I knew for sure that the morning would bring those pains again.  We switched off the light and both crawled naked into our brand new double sleeping bag.  We were both exhausted and spent the night sleeping soundly, tightly entwined in each other's arms.  I know the previous chapter is in vivid detail.  It had to be.  A moment like this happens in a man's life only once, as it did in mine.  To leave out the slightest detail would fail to depict the enormity of the event.

We were both shocked out of our sleep by the sound of a woman screaming, It was just getting light.  I threw on my pants and went outside and saw that the screaming was coming from across the road in 7B.  Others from the camp were also responding.  I got there first and stood for a second or two wondering how do you knock on a tent.  An older lady breezed right by me and unzipped the door and went right in.  She came out in a few minutes, pale as a ghost.  and said, "Give her a few moments to dress".  The screaming had stopped and there was a small crowd gathered at the open doorway of the tent.  The woman inside came out and gestured for me to go in.  When I went inside I was confused and wondering what was all the screaming about.  One look and I knew Instantly.  He was ashen gray, I reached down and felt his neck looking for a pulse and found him ice cold to the touch, he obviously had died some time ago with her still inside their double sleeping bag with him dead next to her.  Her reaction upon waking, and turning to wake him, to find him dead, was well within what one would expect.  I zipped closed the doorway behind me as I left.  The lady was sitting at the picnic table now, sobbing uncontrollably, with other ladies clustered around her all failing to console her.  A voice from the crowd said, "someone better call an ambulance!"  I knew that it was much to late for an ambulance but said nothing.  Nina stood there like someone had struck her from behind, her mouth was wide open and she simply kept glancing from side to side not knowing what to do.  I was not in a much better state of mind.  Thoughts raced through my mind, and I wished to hell Mr.  Willoby was here now.  What is my next Move??? By now tobacco juice Joe was on the scene, and he immediately left to call an ambulance and the police.  Nina and I went back to our tent and finished dressing.  Neither of us had any underwear or shoes and socks on.  All the time we dressed, we tried to figure out what to do next.  Neither of us had ever faced a situation even remotely like this..  There was an outside phone in front of the office, and I decided I had to call Willoby.  I didn't want to run, but was sorely tempted to.  I walked briskly to the phone and placed a call to Mr.  Willoby at home.  He answered on the second ring, and I told him the situation we had found ourselves in and asked ,"What should we do now??" He knew instantly what to do, and told my the following, " Do absolutely Nothing, you can't divorce a dead man".  We were to go back to our camp site, act as though we were just simple campers and answer any questions the police asked.  If they asked our, names, addresses and birth date and place of employment, answer truthfully, this is routine and means nothing.  Give them your true daytime job address and phone number when they ask you, but don't say anything about anything if you are not asked a question.  Under no circumstances, divulge the real reason we were there.  Wait till everything dies down, his body removed and the police are gone.  Don't give any impression that you are in a hurry to get out of there.  Pack up our things, and come to the office.  Bringing along all notes, or records, or pictures we had in our possession about the case.  I'd heard him say that only one time before, and realized another one was about to be swept under the table.  The ambulance and police arrived almost at the same time.  The trooper and the medic went into the tent, the trooper came out and interviewed the lady, writing it all down in his book.  He took the name and address, birth date and place of employment of every person that was there, as Willoby said he would.  He did however additionally ask everyone to show him some proof of identity.  matching the information they had given to him.  With all this finished, he concluded by saying, "Everyone, go back about your business!!!  It's all over here!!!"

The man that died that night in the tent, was no Joe six pack.

He was a very well known Real Estate developer and some of the small developments carried his name.  I learned later that immediately after my call to Mr.  Willoby, he was on the phone to State Police headquarters, The wife, and other contacts.  What ever he did, it worked, the headline in the afternoon paper read.

"LOCAL REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER DIES AT HOME FROM

MASSIVE HEART ATTACK"

That night when I returned home, Mary said that I should read the paper.   Mr. X died from a heart attack.  "He was such a nice man".  Than , and only than, did I put the name together with the face.  His children went to school with my children.  We had met and talked with him and his wife on many occasions out side and inside the school.  He waved to me once as we passed on the street in downtown.  He didn't act as though he recognized me in the campground office, and if he did, he most certainly knew the woman I was with was not my wife.  I guess the friendly wave from him to me had a deeper meaning than I first realized.  I now believe it meant ,"I see You, You see Me, it is a stand off".  Had he lived, He would have been very surprised to lean that I was not simply another cheating husband as he was.  I was a private detective working with his partner in the employ of his wife.  I laugh at the irony of it all now, for I was a cheating husband using the cover of a private detective to commit the adulterous acts I was paid to catch others at, Thus the title of this book, "It TAKES ONE TO CATCH ONE".  A $1000 check arrived in the mail but I expected this one.

It was a few months later, after the fight in the pub, between Nina and Barb, that the incident happened to me.  Barb never joined us again, but would come to the entrance to the Private Room and when noticed by Tom, they would leave together.  This happened about twice a week.  I always waved, and Nina always frowned at me.  I got a kick out of how she reacted whenever she saw Barb.  By now they where mortal enemies and the only one that seemed to like her was Tom.  Astra remarked one day, "she's the biggest tramp in town." Nina responded "She's worse than that, and I can't see why you allow Tom to see her" she responded.  "She gives him what I can't, but he always comes back to me." One night I was in the Pub alone, Astra and Tom were working and for some reason Nina never showed up.  I called her house and got no answer.  I knew her sister was sick and figured she was over there.  So I sat at the little bar.  and talked to the locals.  Barb came in looking for Tom and saw me.  She came over and I told her they were working.  She asked if I would mind having a drink with her.  "You ain't Folin' me lady," I said to myself.  "I got the word on you".  I said, "sure why not!" Nina was not here, and I was curious just how far Barb intended to take her infatuation with me.  I was willing to let it roll on till I had the opportunity to put her in her place myself.  It would end right here, at this little bar, I thought.  Never realizing to what extent she would go or how insane she actually was.  She sat next to me and ordered a drink and paid for it.  I was on my guard for the things Nina had told me, The looks, the hair, the touching, but nothing like this happened, She seemed quite normal.  We talked and joked and played shuffle board.  I thought maybe Nina was wrong about her.  I went to the men's room, and when I came back she had ordered fresh drinks for both of us, and paid for both of them.  I started to drink mine , and was talking to her, when my head started to swim round and round.  I said, "I think I better leave, I may have had to much to drink".  I was overwhelmed by the need to go to sleep.  My speech was slurring and I was in bad shape.  She said, "come on, I'll drive you home".  She helped me to her car, and I got in the front, Something happened, because the next thing I remember, I was not home, but sitting on the couch in her apartment.  She gave me a glass and said this will straighten you out.  I drank it down and that is all I remember till I woke up on the couch the next morning.  My head was pounding and I hardly could move.  I sat up with my head in my hands and that is when I noticed the zipper on my pants was open.  I went into the bathroom and splashed water on my face and went to Pee.  I examined myself, It was then I noticed I was bleeding.  I dropped my pants and underpants to get a better look at what was wrong.  It was than I realized that I wasn't bleeding, but that my privates and underpants were covered with lipstick.  But worse, a big piece of my pubic hair had been snipped off.  I was blond haired and so was the rest of me.  I came out of the bathroom and Barb offered me a cup of coffee.  I refused and beat it the hell out of there as fast as I could.  I took a taxi back to the pub and got my car and went home.  Telling Mary, "Had to work all night." I went into the bathroom and showered and scrubbed, tearing my underpants into small pieces, and flushing them down the toilet.  I went in to work and was only a few minutes late.  All day long, I kept thinking why would she do this to me, I never did anything to her.  Than It dawned on me.  This isn't about me, It has to be about the feud between Nina and Barb.  But why the hair?? I called Nina and we met at the hotel for lunch.  I blurted the whole story out to her in every detail.  She didn't believe me, and I swore it happened.  She called it a bazaar story, "You Must have had a dream, or your working to hard".  She just would not believe what had happened to me.  I stopped talking, realizing that if I continued she would think I had had some sort of nervous breakdown.  A week later the whole thing was made clear.  Nina realized what I told her was the truth.

Nina was shopping at the mall and ran into Barb.  Barb walked up to her and said, "well girlfriend, I had your boyfriend last Saturday and he loved it" Nina replied, "get the hell out of here you lying witch".  With that Barb pulls out one of those things you put valuable coins in to keep them from getting scratched, a small plastic thing, and hands it to Nina and says, "ever see this before".  It was the hair!!  Nina looked and realized that she had not only seen this before but it had to have come from me, and all I told her was not a dream but it was all the truth, She became enraged, and swung and hit her smack in the mouth and Barb went down with Nina on top beating the hell out of her.  The fight was broken up by some nearby construction workers, with Barb running away shouting, "I'll get you"-- "I'll get you."

We never laid eyes on Barb again till a day in court six months later.  Although Tom continued to see her from time to time , and this is the reason we were all in court later.

We enjoyed our first camping trip together so much, trying to put out of our minds, the complete tragedy of it in it's entirety.  We talked together about the good parts with Tom and Astra.  Remarkably enough, neither of them had ever spent a night in a tent.  Had never experienced the joy of sitting by a camp fire in the forest.  With the wonderful smells and experiencing the sounds of the night.  The stars shining down through the trees.  We sort of convinced them that It would be a good idea for the four of us to go camping for a long weekend.  

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We ruled out a camp ground as to public, and decided to look into a way of camping alone in the real wilderness.  The job fell to me to work out all the details.  It had to be a place we could drive to in no more than five hours.  As the weeks rolled on and I tried to figure out how to accomplish this, nothing was falling into place.  Neither Tom nor I had the equipment we would need, nobody was able to cook a meal for four people over a camp fire.  Even if one of us decided to try it, we would have to buy all those pots and pans.  What about toilet? What about drinking water? The problems mounted as we realized that what we all wanted to do required skills and equipment that none of us had.  I thought "I'll bet tobacco juice Joe could set this up!!  "I got on the phone and without telling him who I was, came right out and told him what we wanted to do, and could he be of any help.  I had to put my hand over the phone to keep him from hearing me laughing as he answered me, and I think when you read how his answer to me started, you will laugh also.  He started with, "Yup-sure can!!" --"PITTHH", "PING", as he spat tobacco juice into his spittoon.  He gave me the phone number of a guy he called "An Outfitter," about a three hour drive north of him in an area of Pennsylvania called, "The Endless Mountains".  A simple phone call ended all our problems.  We made arrangements with him, and over the labor day weekend drove the five hours to northern Pennsylvania.  This, it seems was an extended family business handed down for generations.  When we arrived Saturday morning, they were packed and ready for us, A full size pickup, the back loaded with gear.  There were five of them, three rode in the truck, and two followed in a car.  After driving north for about an hour, we turned off into a small dirt forest road and drove about another half hour till the road just ended in a large field.  They went into the woods and came back with a long poll that I guess was a tree.  On to the poll went packs, and duffel bags, and things wrapped up in canvas and tied with ropes.  Up on the shoulders of two of them it went, and off they went into the forest.  The next two pulled out back packs and away they went also.  The one remaining asked if we were ready to go?, that it was all on foot from here on in.  We followed what he called deer trails for over an hour and when we arrived we were greeted by all the men busy at work setting up a camp site.  A tent for each of us, a tent that served as a toilet facility.  tarps were tied to the trees and a small table unfolded and chairs were unfolded.  We were asked to pitch in and help, and were given a task.  We were all busy busy busy and having the time of our lives.  The spot was on the banks of a mountain stream that they said was full of native trout, and the water originated in the mountains above us.  There is no civilization up there, so if we got thirsty just lay on the bank, and put our face in the water, and drink all we wanted.  We were just about finished, when two of them picked up a duffel bag and headed out up stream.  They gathered wood-started a camp fire and all but the one who led us in departed waving, saying, "see you Monday." The remaining man broke out a cast iron pot, a metal tri-pod, and set it up in the camp fire.  He opened up a small cooler and started dumping things in the pot.  "Stew tonight for supper," he said.  He went to his back pack and pulled out two bottles of bourbon and two bottles of rye whiskey.  "Compliments of Masson outfitters," was his only remark.  He gave us all a little cup that telescoped flat, or when pulled up held about 8 ounces.  "Enjoy yourselves, I am camping up stream about forty yards and will be back to serve supper.  Stir that pot!  Put more wood on the fire!  Throw those potatoes and carrots in at six!" "By the way, we put a case of beer in the creek yesterday.  It's over there by that big rock, in a sack, and tied to a tree, should be good and cold by now".  Nina's eyes lit up and an, "oh thanks," came out, she loves her beer!!!  He was out of sight in five minutes.  We busied ourselves, making thing to our liking, moved a tarp and relocated the table closer to the stream.  Checked out the head and our tents, stirred the pot, it smelled wonderful.  We drank whiskey and beer and just lulled around enjoying the wilderness.  Six o'clock came and we opened the pot to add the vegetable and the most delicious aroma filled the air.  We all looked into the pot and smelled and smelled.

About six forty five, the guide arrived, and took the pot off the tripod and placed it on the table.  He dolled out four metal plates, knife and forks and stuck a ladle into the pot and said, "enjoy" and disappeared upstream.  Did we enjoy!!  We ladled and ate-ladled and ate.  About a half hour passed, we were full and content.  The guide came back and filled another metal plate from the pot and said good night see you in the morning.  We all almost spoke together.  "What Was in that POT???????" he smiled and said, "Nuttin"," you will ever get in a restaurant.  That is cubed venison, marinated, in a wild choke cherry and spice, and corn whiskey marinade, for 7 days.  Aunt HELEN grows the spices in her garden, like her mom did before she died.  "See ya in the morning." We sat around the fire till about nine, and Tom and Astra were the first to give in the sedative effect this place has on you.  The smells, the sounds, the chill after dark, and most of all the hypnotic sound of that mountain stream never ending.  We soon followed.  The tent was equipped with two sleeping bags, a battery powered little Fluorescent flashlight hanging from the top, and a hand held flashlight on the floor.  We solved our first problem by un- zipping both bags and zipping them together into a massive two person sleeping bag.  We were by now both very drunk and were falling into each other as we tried to get shoes off and undressed.  If there was to be sex tonight it would have to be with someone else, "I'M GOING TO SLEEP", I said to myself as I crawled in with just my underpants on.  Nina on the other hand had different ideas, and in she comes naked, a huggin" and a kissin" and a feelin " with both hands.  I tried, oh lord how I tried, but that thing would just not wake up, and besides I was tired and wanted to go to sleep.  Finally she crawled out of the sleeping bag and put on her shirt and panties and was sitting cross legged and cross armed on top of it, next to me and exclaims, "OK what did I do to get you mad." I rolled toward her and weakly said "Can't we do it in the morning!"  "No God damn it, we will straighten this out right now!" Nina and I were about to have our second fight.  She got up and added her pants to her attire and did so in a very angry manner.  "When your ready to talk about it, I'll be out by the fire".  I followed shortly, to the dying fire and I threw a log on.  I went down to the creek and brought back three beers for her and she popped one at once.  I didn't have anything more to drink, I felt if I did, I will fall flat on my face.  The fire kicked up and the flames lit her face.  She just sat there smoking a cigarette and drinking the beer.  I broke the silence, and asked if she wanted a sweater , her answer was right to the point.  "I don't need any damn sweater, I need to know what's the matter with you".  This was a problem that I had faced only twice before tonight, and I was embarrassed to talk about it.  The second time sent me to a doctor with fears that I was losing my manhood.  After a complete physical and a blood work, he could find no reason for me not to be able to obtain an erection when the situation certainly called for one.  A question and answer period followed.  "Tell me about the day", "tell my how much you had to drink," and four or five more.  The last one being, "were you able to get an erection the following morning"? The answer was, "Oh my God Yes".  The light dawned in his eyes and he put his pad on the desk and said, "Kevin, have you ever heard of a problem called , Alcohol Induced Impotency? "I replied, "Can't say that I have"!  A long and detailed explanation followed about the brain and hormones, that boiled down to!!  Some guys can't do it if they're tired and drunk at the same time.  The mind is very willing but the body says, "oh no, you sleep now!"  No amount of stimulation will change it until he has slept and the alcohol level in his blood drops.  Thus a man in this state is raring to go in the morning.  It is an inherited trait and some men start to experience it after 30.  Others are at their best when drunk as a skunk, but they don't have "The Problem".  "If you don't drink to excess, you will never have this problem again," the doctor said!" She was sitting there just looking at me waiting for my answer, but I couldn't say it.  I tried, "Can't we just let it go for tonight we can do it in the morning".  The head went from side to side, so I said, "bring your beers and lets go back in the tent and I'll tell you." We both sat on the sleeping bag, and by god, it was the hardest and most embarrassing thing I ever did.  I started with, "Em-Em-Em,"" Im impotent"---I wanted to continue "Tonight because" and tell her the reason.  It never got out of my mouth before she interrupted.  "The hell you say, you're as impotent as the Pope is a Lutheran".  I leaned over and kissed her and said, "Will you shut up and drink another beer".  She did and I explained the PROBLEM, telling her, "I will be fine if she will let me go to sleep."  "I'll make it all up to you in the morning." SHE HAD THE MOST AMAZED LOOK ON HER FACE.  Her comment was, "OH, I didn't know that!! about men!!!"   I thought to myself, "My lovely Nina, you know a lot about men, but some things, only years will teach you".  The lyrics to a song came to mind, "Older women make the best lovers."  Nina and I both slept soundly all night long- me because I was drunk and exhausted and her, because the beer took it's toll.  We never had the opportunity to make that morning love that I promised her.  Tom was at the door asking if we intended to sleep all day.  It was way passed 9 a.m. and the guide had breakfast ready.  We crawled out of the sleeping bag and I was amused to see that she hadn't even taken her clothes off when she went to sleep.  She popped out of the tent, exposing me, jumping around trying to get the second leg into my pants.  Tom seemed very amused and walked away with Nina towards the fire.  Nina kept on going down to the creek and must have stuck her whole head in the water.  When she came back, her hair was dripping wet, her shirt was wet and she seemed refreshed.  Tom and I noticed the same thing at the same time.  Her shirt, soaking wet, was clinging to her chest.  She must have removed her bra before she went to sleep, for she most assuredly didn't have one on now.  Tom glanced over at me, and with a tilt of his head, a raised eyebrow, and perky mouth, let me know without a word being spoken what his thoughts were.  I smiled at him and nodded my head yes.  We both glanced over at Astra, to see if she had caught the exchange.  She was smiling, but strangely, she too was looking at Nina.  Her eyes moved to us, and she also nodded her head yes.  She HAD caught the exchange and turned to see what we were looking at.  She always did think the world of Nina.  Nina must have noticed something was up, she stopped, glanced down-and fluffed her shirt loose from that beautiful body.  We sat down to a delicious breakfast of pan fried trout, steaming hot baking powder biscuits, honey, butter and coffee-the fluffing was wearing off by now and both Tom and I had the hardest time keeping our mind on the food on our plates.  Nina by now was resigned to the fact that she was going to have to give these two ogling men a treat they didn't deserve and simply ignored us.  Astra was getting the biggest kick out of watching us both trying not to be obvious, but dying to look up.  When breakfast was finished the guide told us of a spot down stream that we could bath in a chest deep pool, that is separated by a large boulder, that sat in the middle of the stream and extended to each bank.  The stream had cut it's way under it, and each couple could bath in privacy, but only in the water.  The bank of the stream offered no privacy, but was covered in lush grass.  We got a change of clothes and our towels and a each couple took one of the heavy blankets that were used as ground cloths in the tent.  We set off for our morning bath.  I had visions of making love to Nina while floating in the warm water.  The walk downstream was beautiful.  We stayed right on the stream bank, since there was no trail.  As we walked we repeatedly glanced into the water, and the stream was teaming with trout.  The big boulder loomed ahead of us, and was a sight to behold.  On the far side of the creek from us, a cliff ran down to the water and the stream had cut it's way under it.  This must have caused the water to wash away all the rocks and obstructions on our side.  Our side was flat and covered with a green carpet of lush mountain grass.  Sometime , years ago, a boulder from the top of this cliff let go and fell into the stream, almost damming it up.  The stream cut its way around and under this boulder causing the water on each side to deepen.  The guide was right, neither Tom and Astra nor Nina and I, could undress and go in the water without the other couple seeing us.  We solved this problem by wading into the water to our ankles This gave both couples the cover of the rock to undress and throw our clothes over onto the grass.  Both couples threw their towels over the top of the big rock to have them handy as we came out of the water.  As I walked into the water to undress, I realized that my dream of making love to Nina while floating in the warm water was a pipe dream.  Never in my life did I experience water like this.  This was the coldest damn water I ever put my foot in.  We bathed, jumping up and down like two little kids in their back yard pool.  Love making will have to wait till later.  We soaped each other, once our bodies got numbed by the cold water.  Tom and Astra were out and gone in five minutes.  We dunked and kept moving, and since we now were alone, ran from the water grabbing our towels and looking for someplace the sun was warming.  I was only covered by the towel on my shoulders as was Nina.  I danced around trying to get warm, when I noticed that Nina was just standing there staring at me.  I became somewhat self-conscious, because when I glanced down at myself, it became quite obvious what she was looking at , with that sly smile on her face.  The water had caused me to retreat into myself and I appeared to be without a private part of any substance.  Now it was Nina's turn to ogle me, and she relished it, and made matters worse by pointing and giggling.  I just had to zing her a little and said you ought to see yourself in a mirror, your lips are blue, and your skin is wrinkled.  She pulled the towel from my shoulders and pushed my backward into that freezing water again, laughing as I thrashed around trying to get to my feet.  I stood up shivering from head to toe.  She took pity on me and started to dry me using both towels.  I took one away and put it over my shoulders and pulled it tight.  She stepped back a step and just stood there in front of me, her eyes going up and down-up and down-that quick breathing started.  It was something she always did whenever she was starting to become aroused.  She took a step towards me and stopped, now she was looking directly into my eyes, I said, "WHAT?".  She turned, and picked up the blanket and flung it around my shoulders and came right into me, and pulled it around herself also.  She was warm, and smelled so clean.  We kissed, and a love just welled up in my heart, no passion just a warm, tender, caring love for her.  I never wanted to let her out of that blanket.  She broke the spell with what was in her mind when she looked me up and down.  "I was just thinking a moment ago, your ALMOST as gorgeous as that boy on the beach at Fire Island." We walked away from the stream bank together holding the blanket over our shoulders, arms around each others waist, and laid it out in a green grassy area that the sun was just warming.  We both laid on our backs and I was drying my hair when she stood, and I looked up to see her silhouetted in the rising sun.  She stepped over me and with a knee on each side settled on my legs.  She leaned forward and kissed me, and when I touched her I could tell she was more than ready, her nipples were pointy again and she was short of breath.  A few moments of for play by her, corrected my cold water problem quit well, and had me breathing as hard as she was now.  With a tenderness combined with love, she collected on my promise of the night before, "we'll do it in the morning."

The remainder of the day was as good as the morning, we hiked and dug up the roots of a sassafras tree that the guide said would make a fine tea for supper.  I learned a lot, one of the worst is that you only eat twice a day.  So to make up for the deprivation, we all drank a hell of a lot.  I was beginning to think that the Indians had it right in the first place.  Living in the forest is a life of complete pleasure.  Again at about five thirty, the guide filled the pot hanging over the fire with water from the stream, pulled out another plastic bag from his cooler, and dumped the contents into it.  He cut the roots we had dug up, and in a strainer, washed them in the stream.  A big black coffee pot was filled with water, and the roots and sugar put in it.  Then it was placed in the outer part of the fire.  In an hour and a half we were eating the most delicious meal I ever tasted in my life.  The marvel of it all, was that it was all done in a black pot hanging over a camp fire.  The tea was strong and nice.  The guide said it would thin our blood and boost our energy.  We all begged him to give us the recipe for what was ever in that pot this time.  His reply was, "I have never outfitted a camping trip that I was not asked for the recipe.  I have it printed up here for each of you." I don't know, I have never read a novel that had a recipe as part of it, but this is my book and I can set a few new rules.  Here you are my readers, exactly as the guide gave it to me.

3/4 pound of hickory smoked ham [do not use water added ham] cubed into one inch cubes for each Camper.

1 large carrot cut into 1 inch pieces for each camper.  [do NOT peel but wash]

1 medium potato [3 inches] peeled and cubed into 2 inch pieces for camper.

1 cup of chopped cabbage for each camper.  [chop rough not fine]

1 large peeled and sliced onion for the pot.  [4 inches]

4 celery stalks cut to four inch size for the pot.

Place all into large plastic bag and add to the bag:

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves.  [per 4]

1/4 teaspoon ground sage.  [per 4]

1/4 teaspoon salt.  [per 4]

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper.  [per 4]

2 garlic cloves crushed.  [per 4]

1 teaspoon of sugar.  [per 4]

2 cups of Sherry cooking wine.  [per 4]

Close bag, and shake well, press bag to eliminate all air.  Tie bag shut

and refrigerate in cold section of refrigerator.  Mixture must be cooked

within 36 hours to insure the best texture but may be cooked within 12 hours.

Cooking:

Dump contents into large fire pot.  {Warmed] Add water to cover.

Pour water into plastic bag close and shake.

Pour this into pot and add enough water to have a 1/4 inch over the contents pot.

Bring to boil quickly.

Move pot up till contents are simmering hard.  [slow boil]

Allow steam to escape!

Add boiling water to keep contents covered with water.

Simmer for one hour, stirring every 10 minutes

Serve using a spoon that will allow the liquid to drain as ladled out of the pot.

Serve with warm sour dough bread and butter and Sassafras tea following the meal.

Each camper should have a glass of cold Burgundy wine with the meal.

God almighty it was GOOD!!!  Following the meal he served us all a small glass of brandy.  The combination of the tea-wine-brandy-meal, sent us all to our tents for the night right after dark, into each others arms.  I realized for the first time that I not only loved Nina, but I liked her too.  She enjoyed what I enjoyed.

The morning dawned bright and sunny the other men were already here when we awoke.  They had brought along our final breakfast cooked in Aunt Helen's kitchen.  Each dish wrapped in foil and kept hot in thermal containers.

Sausage

Bacon

Scrambled eggs

Hash brown potatoes

French toast,

And of course that coffee made in the fire.

All of us ate together, the four of us at the table, the men sitting on the ground.  A wonderful ending to a remarkable long weekend.

It wasn't very long, about three days later that, Nina came down with some sort of rash, all over her back.  She tried treating it with Epsom salts baths, but to no avail.  Finally with it becoming quite severe she went to the doctor.  He took one look at her back and exclaimed, " My God Nina , you got poison Ivy all over your back, you haven't got a spot of it anywhere else, what were you doing, laying on your back in poison Ivy??".  Nina couldn't imagine how she got it till we talked later in the day.  That lush green mountain grass.  That we first laid on after our bath, turned out to be mixed with poison Ivy.  I should have gotten it much worse than her, since she only laid down for a few minutes, while I was on my back for quite a long time.  I got a good dose of poison Ivy as a small child.  Living in Yonkers, only a block north of the Bronx.  We often spent time in Van Courtland Park.  One of the things we did as four and five year olds, was make mud pies.  We used to put those real shiny leaves on top and that was the only part of them we could eat.  We all, came down with a severe case of Poison Ivy in our mouth and throat.  Most of us ended up in the hospital and suffered agonizing pain and couldn't eat anything but soup and milk, or talk for weeks.  All of us recovered and never did that again.  but somehow not one of us ever again was allergic to poison Ivy.  To this day I could walk through it with others that would get a good case of poison Ivy and nothing would happen to me.  Nina lost a few days work, but never told the doctor or anyone else how she got poison Ivy all over her back.  Thinking back now to those months following the camping trip, I was dividing my time carefully between Nina and Mary.  I'd have dinner at home, and If we didn't have a job, spend the entire evening with Nina.  I almost always spent Sundays with the children if we weren't working a case.  They were all quite bright like their mother, and being four little girls, my options were limited as to what I could do.  Playing football was out, is a good example of what I mean.  After church on many Sundays, Mary would dress them all up in identical matching outfits.  I would take them to the hotel for breakfast.  Mary always stayed home.  They enjoyed the attention of every one that laid eyes on them.  Strange people would come up to our table and talk to the children, telling them how beautiful they were.  I smiled when they said, "I don't have to ask, It's obvious they are your children, just look at those eyes." I inherited a very light blue green eye color from my from my mother, whose mother was born in Ireland and was of the McAndrew blood line.  My father's father also migrated from Ireland, with only his catechism as identification.  This color is very common in Irish people that can trace their accessory back to the area of Ireland that is in the northern most counties of Catholic Ireland.  This is as far down as the Viking invaders got and left their gene pool of blond hair and those blue green eyes.  The Irish race is a dark haired, dark eyed race with this exception, and the red haired, blue eyed and blond haired, blue eyed group come mostly from these counties.  This is the coloring that inspired the famous song, "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling".  All the children inherited my eye color and according to independent observers, are all quite beautiful.  After breakfast we would go home change clothes and spend the day in the country, mooing at cows to see if we could get them to come to the fence.  Or to a large lake, not Loon Lake, and go swimming, and have a picnic.  So I was attempting to fulfill my obligation to them and be as good a father as I could.  Not only providing for their needs but being as much a part of their lives as I could.  This seemed to succeed, they all grew to fine well adjusted adults.

Things changed dramatically soon after the camping trip.  Otto the salesman, had a severe heart attack.  He had a tremendous amount of work pending.  Mr Finkelstein the District General Manager tried to fill in, but he was not even able to find most of the hospitals, and didn't even know the names of the Radiologists or Chief Technician.  I was able to give him driving directions, and since I had spoken to most of the Radiologists and Chief Technicians on the phone, was also to not only give him their names but where the X-Ray Department was located in all the hospitals.  During one of our meetings, he was walking out of the office, stopped, turned and walked back to my desk and said, "Here You Handle This One" and handed me one of the Quotations for new equipment Otto was working on.  He kept the rest.  I knew St.  Mary's Hospital quite well.  They had one room that must have been fifteen years old and was continually breaking down, I had been there in person to help the service man rebuild the motor in the table.  When they saw me walk in they thought the room was down again.  I went to the reception desk and asked to see Dr.  Brothers the Radiologist.  I was ushered into his office to find him sitting there with Sister Thomas the hospital administrator.  They had Otto's quotation on his desk and were about to call him and tell him to come to the hospital and pick up a purchase order for new equipment in room six.  The amount of the order was $49,675.00, I'll never in my life forget that figure.  Nobody had taken the trouble to inform them that Otto was sick, and the District Manager had never been there.  I told them I came to talk to them about new equipment in room six and Otto was sick and I was filling in for him.  To my complete surprise Sister Thomas asked me to come with here please and we went to the purchasing department and met Sister Rose Winaford.  She cut a purchase order for the equipment and handed it to me.  I returned to the office telling all who would listen, what a fantastic salesman I was and showing them all the purchase order.  I got on the phone and left a message for Mr.  Finkelstein to call me.  He called the following morning and I asked him, "What Do You want me to do with this purchase order for $ 49,675.00.  He was flabbergasted.  He drove to the office the next day and starting tomorrow, I was the salesman in the territory till Otto got back on his feet.  A company car, and expense Account went with the job.  Otto never recovered fully, and now I was his replacement.  A new job title was established.  Since they didn't want me to loose my ability to fix them as I now sold them, I was the "Combination Man".  A service man with a price book and an expense account.  Boy did I sell new machines.  But all this was secondary to the tremendous advantage this gave me.

Now I had no set hours, did not have to go into the office, and had a second expense account.  I could work daytime cases for the detective agency and simply say I was out selling X-Ray equipment.  My only requirement and right from Mr Finklestine's own mouth was, "Just keep those orders coming in and you can write your own ticket."  I now was driving a brand new car, courtesy of the company, and my compensation changed as well.  I no longer was on salary.  Now I was on salary, plus a commission of 3% of gross sales.  My base salary was lower but when I received the commission check for close to $1,500 for the sale at St.  Mary's, I said a prayer of thanksgiving at mass the next Sunday.  I now had three cars sitting in my driveway, a check coming in for salary, another for commission, another from Willoby, and two expense accounts to cheat on.  I had money coming out of my ears and spent a great deal of it on Nina.  We spent a long weekend in Vail Colorado going 1st class by plane both ways.  Dined at the most exclusive and horrendously expensive French Restaurants, drank bottles of wine costing $40.00 a pop, ordered double orders of escargot for appetizers and never left a table without ordering a double snifter of imported French Brandy.  While all this time, Mary and the children, although getting every imaginable benefit, remained at the same standard of living.  Life couldn't get any better, could it? Oh my friend.  Read on.  It did get better.  

A call came into the office from the Director of Civil Defense.  The U.S. Government is supplying radiation detection equipment to every Volunteer Fire company in the county.  Is there someone in your organization that is qualified to give a six Sunday afternoon course on their proper use and maintenance that must be given before the kits are shipped to them.  Yup you got it, I got that one too.  $20.00 a Sunday for two hours, six Sunday afternoons at 11 fire houses.  Another appointment was added to my growing list.  Not only "County Deputy Sheriff", but now also "Chief Of Radiological Defense."  I still have both badges.  The man upstairs was smiling down on me.  I egotistically thought he must approve of every thing that I am doing, otherwise, why all the rewards.  I overlooked one fact.  He gave me free will, and my misuse of it would soon be paid for.  Before I started this book, I told the story to friends.  They all said, "what happened to you was just a coincidence." I firmly believe now that it was the wrath of God.

Nina kept asking Willoby for an industrial case.  Soon he weakened since it was the dead of winter and not many adultery cases were coming in.  He assigned her to a "Simple One".  It was an industrial theft case.  I was so occupied that I passed it up and Willoby sent Tom in as Nina's partner.  A decision that would eventually cause all of us to end up in a court of law.

Sometime during the night time shift, cases of ice cream were disappearing from a local fairy.  They were packed 10 half gallons to the case and inventory records were right on.  There was an invoice record for all the ice cream missing, but no record of the product being shipped out, thus no payment invoice was ever sent to the buyer.  They were gone just the same and paperwork was being generated inside the dairy that was allowing the thief to pick up the product with an invoice marked Paid in Full.  He simply walked out with 10 cases of ice cream a week.  That amounted to a tremendous loss of ice cream a week going out the back door with no money coming in the mail.  The men on the loading dock must have been in on it because nobody could remember who it was that was getting the ice cream.

The dairy could have hired us to stake out the loading dock, just catch the guy in the act and have him arrested.  They believed it was a widespread conspiracy and wanted the whole bunch caught.  Tom was hired as a loading dock truck loader.  Nina was hired as the night time telephone operator, taking orders over the phone from customers.  It meant working a full shift at their daytime jobs, and another eight hours at the dairy at night.  But if they worked smart, they could close this thing down in a week, and they were being paid by the Dairy and Mr.  Willoby both, so the money was very good.  It wasn't long, about two days, when Tom was approached in the lunch room by the loading dock foreman and asked if he would like to make an extra twenty dollars a week tax free.  He jumped at the offer, and was told that on Thursday, a guy in a small refrigerated truck will give all of us a twenty dollar bill.  He will have a prepaid invoice for ice cream, and all Tom had to do was not remember him.  The regular nighttime operator was deliberately laid off by the dairy to clear this spot for Nina.  She was a rather smart lady and had the job down in a day.  She took many orders from supermarkets and convenience stores for delivery the next day.  These were placed in the Incoming orders box, for the three girls in the office to process.  She noticed that when she dropped them off in the order box, one of the girls would immediately go through them as if looking for something.  An order came in at 3 a.m. for 10 cases of top grade Vanilla ice cream and Nina knew this job wasn't going to last a week.  It was going to be over in three days.  She placed the order in the box, at the bottom, and watched through the little window as the girl went through them all and walked away with the one on the bottom.  This was Tuesday, and a search of the records on Wednesday morning, found no trace of the order or the shipping papers, but an invoice copy was found for the order, marked paid in full.  On Thursday night, a refrigerated truck backed up to the loading dock and the man handed Tom an invoice marked Paid in full for 10 cases of ice cream.  With the invoice was a twenty dollar bill.  He than gave the other two men on the loading dock each a twenty dollar bill.  Tom loaded his ice cream and said thanks a lot and as the thief was driving out of the dairy he was arrested by the police and taken away in hand cuffs.  They came at once to the loading dock and arrested all three men including Tom.  They then went into the office, and arrested the order girl.  Tom was released at once with a brand new twenty in his pocket, that the cops forgot to ask him for.  The Dairy immediately re-hired the telephone operator, giving her full pay and benefits for the four days.  As well as a free case of ice cream.  They were almost positive she was the one on the inside, and mentioned to Mr.  Willoby, that they were glad they handled it the way they did instead of just guessing and having the wrong people arrested and facing law suits.  They were all fired from the dairy, had to appear in court and got their names in the papers.  All were given stiff fines and released on probation, except the guy in the truck.  He got 2 years because this was his second conviction.  he was already on probation.  [Now the plot thickens]-The girl in the office was Barb's sister.  Tom had never met her and didn't know she even existed.  Tom had been visiting Barb regularly as he usually did.  On a visit after the arrests Barb told Tom she was 4 months pregnant and that she was going to destroy him because of what he did to her sister.  Tom was beside himself, he knew that any adverse publicity would bring down the wrath of his father and father in law on his head and could by fatal.  Considering all the warnings he had been given.  He begged Barb to be reasonable, he would pay for the birth and pay child support.  She informed him that she had hired a lawyer and was going to sue him for every penny he had in the world.  Tom went bananas, all he could see is a hit man hired by his own father.  He had to find a way to keep this private.

We all knew something was wrong with Tom, he was losing his hair, drinking more than he ever did, and was just not the Tom we all knew.  We were all at our booth in the pub one night, when he finally unburdened himself.  None of us could offer any advice that could get Tom out of this one.  Nina suggested that he go see Mr.  Willoby, that he might be able to help.  Bright and early the next morning, Tom was sitting in front of Mr.  Willoby's desk when he came in.  Mr.  Willoby closed the door and sat down at his desk, and Tom told him of the fix he had gotten himself into.  Mr.  Willoby didn't pace, didn't go stare out the window.  He simply filled his pipe and leaned back in his chair and stared at Tom.  In a few minutes he said, "Tom you asshole, there is only one way your going to get yourself out of this one." "Your going to have to prove the kid ain't yours." Back in the sixties, there was no such thing as DNA.  To prove or disprove paternity a blood sample had to be taken from the child.  If it matched the man's blood type, all it meant was he "Could Have Been" the father.  Then to bring into question his paternity, he now had to find someone else with his blood type, who could also have been the father.  Or prove he was in Outer Mongolia for a month and could not be the father.  To accomplish this, the child must have been born and a blood sample taken.  Willoby asked Tom to give him a picture and the address of Barb, and to try to relax.  He will help, and if there is any way to resolve this thing before she goes to court, he will find it.

He assigned a team of operatives to get a complete background on this "BIMBO," and to interview all her neighbors about her private life.  To see if she was entertaining other men, besides Tom, that she may have met out on the truck stop.  This took about two weeks and their report was in his hands.  The report documented Tom's coming and going for the last four months, no other male visitors were reported, except one, and that for only one night.  This one visit interested Willoby very very much.  In the transcript of the statement by Barb's downstairs neighbor.  She reports, that back in June, Barb asked for her help.  A friend was in her car drunk, and would she help get him upstairs to her place.  The neighbor describe the man as in his thirties about five foot eleven.  What caught her eye most, was that he had very blond hair.  And she describe him as having striking light blue green eyes.  And remembered him leaving the next morning in a rush.  It didn't take Willoby long to put two and two together, and he called me into his office and read the description to me, He asked if I knew anyone in this town except myself that fit that description and was acquainted with Barb?? I was dumfounded, I did not answer.  He persisted and said "come on Kevin you were in her apartment overnight last June, she claims to be four months pregnant and this is September, so you tell me what the story is." I was trapped--I never in my life thought what happened to me in her place that night would ever be known to anyone but Nina, Barb and myself.  His next statement made me realize that I had to tell him what happened." Listen, he said, if either you or Tom could be the father of this child, you can let Tom walk away clean." I told him the whole story in every detail including the incident in the shopping center between Nina and Barb.  He called her a rotten no good son of a bitch , and sent me on my way not knowing what would happen next.  In a week Nina, myself and the neighbor were in the court house giving what they called sworn depositions.  Nina describing her encounter with Barb and Barb's comments.  I describing in vivid detail all I could remember of the night in June and the next morning.  The neighbor's deposition telling how she helped me to Barb's apartment and identifying me as the man she helped.  The pharmacist from one of the drug stores in town was also there and he gave a deposition also.  Mr Willoby assigned one of the agency lawyers to represent Tom, and another to represent me.  A copy of these depositions was mailed to Barb's lawyer.  Ten days later we were all back in the court house sitting in a closed court room at a big table.  The lawyers and Willoby all went into the Judge's chambers, while Barb,Tom, Nina and I sat waiting.  When they returned a deal had been struck.

In return for Barb stopping all litigation against Tom, and agreeing to give birth to this child at the same home for unwed mothers that she had used before, and also placing it up for adoption; Mr.  Kevin Kelly would not file charges against her for the following crimes, Kidnaping, Rape, Assault, Deviate Sexual Behavior and Deformation of Character.  They even had the deposition from the pharmacist and knew what she used on me, and that she purchased it the day before the drugging.  It was, "Chloral Hydrate" and was well known to Shanghaied sailors, as a "Mickey Finn".

We all signed papers and left.  The only thing that went wrong, was that Tom had to pay all her legal bills and give her one thousand dollars.  We never laid eyes on Barb again.  She moved away two days later, and to this very day, we don't know what happened to Tom's or my child.  Although, I doubt if I was in any condition to father a child that night and more than likely Tom was the father as Barb claimed.

It was after the paternity hearing, that a major problem came to our attention.  The owner of The Embers {The Pup} was having some cash flow problems.  He never was a good business man anyway.  He always wanted to please everyone and had a roaring business going.  His problem was that he gave away as much as he sold.  He overpaid his help, and played the horses.  But he was a friend that could be trusted and relied on to cover for us when we needed to have someone say we were there most of the night.  As I said earlier, he was an Italian guy named Cantalano and was not connected in any way to the mob.  His family came from Rome and were all restaurant owners in different parts of the country.  We were all at the Pub after the court hearing enjoying ourselves when there was a hell of a fight out in the little bar area.  Tom and I ran out and found these two thugs beating the hell out of the owner.  The bartender was cowering behind the bar as they hit him.  During one of their strikes, I noticed that one of them had a pistol in a holster strapped to his waist.  Realizing that no cop in his right mind would do what they are doing, I thought they were some kind of robbers.  I shouted at Tom, "That One's Packing Tom".  We both drew our guns and I held out my Deputy Sheriff's badge and I shouted ,"Police Officer, Get on the ground".  They stopped hitting Mr.  Cantalano, looked at the two men standing with drawn guns, one showing a police badge and must have assumed Tom was one also.  Down on their faces they both went.  I took the gun from the one I knew had one, and found the other to also be armed and took his gun.  I checked to see if they also had ankle guns , but neither did.  I said, "Don't get up, don't move", and they both didn't.  I told the bartender to call the city police and Mr.  Cantalano protested.  He said this is a private matter.  I had no choice, I was a police officer, and they were armed and were committing assault, they had to be arrested.  The City cops came and I showed my credentials and turned over the weapons to them.  Neither of them had a permit to carry a firearm.  They took them into custody, hooked them both up and thanked us for our help and said they would send a copy of the report to the Sheriff.  Cantalano was very upset, he told us that what we did was going to make a lot of very important people very unhappy.  Boy was he right!!  It wasn't two days later that two different thugs were in the pub.  This time they wanted to meet the guys that had their friends arrested.  Tom and I weren't there at the time, but the proprietor told them that one of the guys they were looking for was the son of Vito Palermo, a very important man.  They were quite shocked, and said they knew Vito well and would be back to meet these two guys, after they checked this out and got instructions.

Mr.  Cantalano had borrowed a large sum of money from a local loan Shark and could not meet the payments.  The beating was to convince him he had to come up with the money right away.  Tom and I got involved in a situation that only Tom could get us out of.

After Mr.  Cantalano told us about the men looking for us, and what the situation was all about, Tom went to see his father and father in law.  They all went to see the cappo {supervisor}, they then went to the main man and told him that Mr.  Cantalano was a good friend and did them many favors.  That he protected them and deserved consideration.  That Kelly was a Police officer that could, "BE TRUSTED TO COOPERATE", in the future.  He did not realize this was family business he was involving himself in.  He told Tom's Father to collect the money.  In the future his son and this guy Kelly was to butt out of company business.  We all breathed a sigh of relief.  The next week Tom's father was sitting at the little bar talking to Mr Cantalano and worked out a payment plan.  The old guys work differently than the new ones.  They got a little more Class and only use force as a last resort.  As a result of their conversation, some of the unneeded help was fired by the new manager he put in place till Cantalano's bill was paid.  A new tough looking bartender took over.  The free refills stopped.  All the tips, including those the bartender used to get, were split evenly between the help and the new manager.  The free sandwiches at lunchtime stopped.  Prices went up to what other places were charging.  He had lights installed in the bar but not in the Private room.  The new manager was gone in less than six months.  I don't know about Tom, but I learned that lesson quite well.  I bought and wore my first bullet proof vest.  That vest , forty one years later,now hangs useless in my closet.

Our lives settled down-there was not a drop of publicity about the problem with Barb.  The two guys that we arrested in the Pub walked out free men without being indicted, because Mr.  Cantalano refused to press charges of assault, Tom and I were told , by his father to have very poor memories of important details, plus a few important ramifications if we failed.  We both became confused and contradicting each other when questioned by the District attorney.  I claimed I saw Cantalano hit one guy, Tom said I was wrong , the guy was hitting him.  Prompting him to refuse to use any of our testimony calling it "Worthless".  Their lawyer showed up with affidavits from a security/bodyguard firm connected with the a union I can't mention.  It asserted, they were long term employees covered under their blanket license to carry firearms.  The affidavits contained employment and payroll records predating the arrest for carrying without a permit.  I knew than, and I know now, both Tom and I were used, but please consider the alternative we faced by not complying.  If you are having a problem figuring out what the problem we faced was, all I can say is, "I am Alive today to write this".

We all were happy to return to our detective work with all these problems behind us.  Nina and I were as much in love as ever, making love to each other on almost every visit, going to the Pub and dancing.

We returned to normal and we all want back to work.  We were both doing cases that didn't involve divorce and gaining a great deal of experience.  The daytime job was going great, I was now a combination man, selling, repairing and traveling often now to New York City to give seminars to new employees.  I was away quite a bit.  The kids were all well and growing and I was able to give them things that nobody in the neighborhood was able to afford.  They were all in parochial school except the baby.  Mary was happy, Nina was happy, I was happy.  I , as I said, had thoughts that God had arranged this life for me.  But deep in my heart I knew he would have no part of a happy adulterous life and wondered why he had not punished me, but seemed to be rewarding me.  It was a great mystery to me but I accepted it and enjoyed it and prospered.  The winter set in, and it was cold and a snowy winter.  I was working very long hours and driving in my new company car to New York about twice a month.  Working the cases as they came in and not getting very much sleep.  I was dividing my time between Nina and Mary.  Some of the men in the office came down with the flu and I was asked by the new supervisor if I could come back and fill in for them.  I was working about 12 hours a day in the daytime job and another 4 or 5 at the agency.  Another two to three hours every Sunday for Civil Defense.  I was not getting enough sleep and not eating any regular meals and was losing a lot of weight.  I went from 175 pounds down to 160 pounds and none of my clothes fit well any more.  I had to have some of them taken in.  I also caught the flu but fought it and kept on working.  I had never been sick a day in my life and thought my body will just fight it off as it always did.  I got sicker instead of better.  The company sent for me in February to do a seminar in New York.  I told them that I was not well and could not drive to New York.  A call came in from the district manager and he said he didn't care if I was half dead, "DRIVE TO NEW YORK".  Not daring to loose my Job, I drove to New York with a fever of 101 degrees.  Two days later I returned home and was having a great deal of trouble breathing.  Mary took my temperature and it was 102.5.  The next two days were hell, aspirin, rest and mustard plasters.  Thursday my temperature was 103 and I fainted after supper.  I was out like a light on the living room floor.  Mary called an ambulance and I was taken to the hospital.  It was the closest hospital and an Osteopathic institution.  Small but clean.

The emergency room doctors did tests quickly and told Mary, " The diagnosis is double viral pneumonia"."He should have been here days ago." They said that I should be admitted at once to intensive care and be on full oxygen.  I was concerned, I knew that the best hospital , and the largest in the area was St.  Mary's.  I wanted to be taken at once from the emergency room directly to St.  Mary's.  They said I was to sick and needed treatment at once.  I prevailed by insisting and I signed myself out.  Mary called the ambulance back and I was driven thirty five miles away to St.  Mary's.  I went through all the tests again and they concurred with what the people in the other hospital said.  I had viral Pneumonia in both lungs.  I was admitted with a fever of 103.6.  I was immediately packed in ice bags and had IV bottles going into both arms.  In two days they moved me from intensive care to a double room and thought they had it in check, my fever had dropped to 101 degrees.  A day later my fever soared higher than it was when I was admitted and I was again in ice and again had IV's in both arm, and they were feeding me pills every three hours.  Instead of getting better, I got progressively sicker and was going in and of delirium.  By Sunday they took me out of the double room and moved me into a private room.  They told Mary that I was not responding to treatment and the situation is critical.  She should call those in the family she needed to, as there is the distinct possibility that I may not recover.  Nice Hospital language for "He's Gonna Die".  That explained the move to the private room.  What scared her the most was when they said," There was nothing more they could do and it was all in God's hands now".

My mother and Father came from New York, Mary and the children visited, all in face masks.  All this time a candy stripper was at my side night and day and never, It seemed, left the hospital.  It was NINA who had donned the pig tails and volunteered as a Candy Striper to be with me.  On Tuesday a Rosary was said and the priest asked me if I was sorry for my sins, I nodded weakly and the last rights were administered to me.  A nun came in and they raised me up and put the green scapular around my neck as a last hope request that God spare my life.  I was lucid for this time and recognized her, She also recognized me and said she will start a novena.  As they all left the door was closed to my room.  Mary, the children my mother and father all walked out crying.  They passed a Candy Stripper that was crying also.  I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable, I thought, God's punishment was soon to arrive.  I don't remember very much about the night I was to die, there was always a lot of activity around my bed.  I was in and out of delirium, and only remember a few details.  I'd wake and didn't feel sick at all, than wake again and it was two hours later.  I was told I was babbling incoherently and only bits and pieces of what I was saying was able to be understood.  I spoke to my dog "Brownie," about my sister Mildred.  Brownie had been brought home by my father, on the day my mother returned with me from the hospital.  He was only a little brown mutt and he too had only recently been born.  We grew together and he died when I was sixteen years old.  Mildred was five years older than me, and my protector throughout grammar school.  She died when I was twenty five years old.  In these moments that I can't remember I was carrying on conversations with a dead dog about a dead sister.  In the moments I did wake up, I noticed that there was always a Nun there in my room.  This being a Catholic Hospital, I thought that it was normal.  I woke to find a kneeling bench had been brought into my room, and a nun was kneeling there praying every time I opened my eyes.  A 48 hour novena had been started to "Our Lady of Fatima." A nun was in my room all the time praying, and was relieved by another every two hours.  This was what I remembered, through the delirium.  A nun was always there.  They were joined at times by nurses to adjust the tons of stuff that they had running into me, and add new and remove melted ice bags.  My fever was raging and there was nothing they could do to break it.  I had an oxygen mask on my face, but as I said, when I woke I didn't feel sick, I guess looking back now I wasn't in any condition to feel anything.  All the nuns were not nurses, some were laundry, some cooks, some administrative workers.

It was about four in the morning, when I started to have a dream that I was floating in the shallow end of a heated pool.  I wasn't told about this dream, I can remember it as plain as day.  I was naked and lying on my back in a luxurious and warm swimming pool.  I was doing nothing, nobody else was with me.  I was just lying there and could feel the warm water all around me.

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The only problem was I was cold, very cold.  I remember thrashing in the water trying to get warm.  In the dream I was thrashing and in reality I was thrashing in my hospital bed.  This thrashing about, caused me to pulled out one of the IV's.  The nun praying a this time was "Sister Rose ," The nun from the purchasing department that handed me my first order for X-Ray equipment, and the furthest thing from a nurse in the whole hospital.  She noticed the loose IV and was about to call for a nurse, when I woke momentarily and held out my arm toward her and said, "Sister Help Me." She walked to my bed and found me lying in a pool of water.  I was soaked from head to foot.  She touched my head and there was no fever.  As a matter of fact I was cold and shivering.  She rushed out into the hall and screamed "Code Blue".  This triggered a reaction that brought nurses ,doctors, technicians, rushing to the room.

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My fever had broken, and all the water I was lying in had come out of my body.  All the remaining tubes were quickly removed, a portable oxygen bottle and mask placed on my face and I was lifted on to a gurney , and rushed again to intensive care.  A whole new critical situation now faced them.  My temperature was well below normal due to all the medication to lower it, and lying covered in ice bags with no fever, for how long I don't know.  I was dehydrated from loss of body fluids.  A doctor pulled the skin on my stomach up between his fingers and it just stood there not returning.  I can remember him saying to the nurse, coolly, "Quickly Now, No Time To Waste".  All this time I was shivering violently.  They had saved my life, but now could loose me to Shock, not pneumonia.

In intensive care, a whole new regimen of IV's was started and in place of the ice bags, there was hot water bottles.  The nuns moved their kneeling bench to ICU and continued the novena.  By morning, I was cranked up to a sitting position, eating ice chips and begging someone to bring me something to eat, and getting in reply, "Not Yet".  The nuns had not finished the 48 hour novena, and continued as if I was still going to die.  I never heard the expected, "Praise the Lord," from them.  Only a feeling that they believed God's will had been done.  When the 48 hour's was up.  They just disappeared back to their work, claiming nothing for themselves.  I was alone now, and recovering.  In two days, they moved me back into the private room.  The skin on the bottom of my feet blistered and peeled off and were covered with bandages.  I had lost over twenty pounds, and since I had lost weight before I got sick, I was skin and bones.  A priest from the nearby parish Church visited me first, and asked if I would like to go to confession and receive Holy Communion.  I agreed, he didn't know Mary or me, he closed and locked the door.  He sat there as I told him of the horrible life I had been leading, and all the sins that I could remember.  He gave me absolution, and I braced myself next for a horrible penance.  None came.  Following absolution, he said no more, and since childhood, absolution always preceded, "Say Three Hail Mary's and an Our Father," I asked him why he didn't tell me what my penance was.  He said, "You have just completed your penance, and God has spared your life.  Take his warning seriously".  I didn't know it than, but these words would have a profound effect on me.  He said also, "Sister asked if you would be kind enough to let her keep the green scapular." I didn't want to give it up, but he was holding out his hand.  Since there were two medallions on it ,one on each end, I asked him If it would be okay if I kept one of them.  We took it off my neck and clipped one off, leaving the string in tact.  To this day I carry that medallion in my wallet.  He gave me communion, and left.

By now, everyone knew that I was going to live.  My Parents visited with Mary and the children.  Nina and Tom and Astra came also.  Mr.  and Mrs.  Willoby visited with a big fruit basket, which I started to devour before they even left.  Did you ever eat only Jell-O and toast for two days? The visitor that surprised me most, was Mr.  Finkelstein ,the District Manager that ordered me to New York, after I told him I was to sick to go.  He was filled with guilt, and blamed the whole thing on himself.  He said that he had learned a lesson that he will never forget.  He was determined to never make that mistake again.  He asked my forgiveness, and told me my job was secure and that my full pay and benefits was continuing as if I was still working.  To stay out as long as I like and recover my health.

Nina and Chuck were in car six now, but Willoby told me that he will move him out the minute I return.  I ached to hold her in my arms again, and hug and kiss her.  During one of her visits, Tom and Astra left us alone, and closed the door behind them as they left.  She sat on the bed and we kissed and hugged.  During one of the hugs, A chill came over me and I shivered a little.  She stopped and thought she had hurt me.  I knew she hadn't, that the shiver came from deep down inside my body.  I thought at once of what the priest had said, "Take his warning seriously." The beginning of the end had just started.

Four more days in the hospital, and I still couldn't walk.  They took me home in an ambulance.  I was carried up to my bedroom in a kitchen chair.  I spent fifteen days in that bed, crawling on my hands and knees to the bathroom.  I was strong enough to walk by now, but had raw painful feet that I could not stand on.  With Mary nursing me, feeding me, bathing me, I was up and around on crutches, in two weeks.  With her help I navigated the stairs and sat on the front porch for short periods.  It took over a month before I was up and around and gaining weight.  I was out of work for a total of two months.

The company insisted on a complete physical and medical clearance before they would let my start work again.  The x-rays showed that I had no permanent damage to my lungs , and they appeared to be clear and normal showing no scar tissue.  This surprised the doctors a lot.  I was still under weight but eating well and gaining.  I went back to work at my daytime job and at the Agency.  True to his word Mr.  Willoby moved Chuck out and put me right back in car 6 with Nina.  That first night back with her was burned into my memory for ever.  We made love all night long.

She was anxious to resume our loving relationship, and to tell the truth.  I ached to hold her and love her, but didn't.  I loved her with all my heart, but was terrified, unsure that if I started, I could not stop.  I was working as if I were a robot, not thinking or feeling, and frightened about something.  I did not know what it was I was frightened of, but it was there.  Something was wrong with me but I could not put my finger on exactly what it was.  I thought if I could do something besides working, I might be able to regain the self confidence that I always had.  The YMCA was advertising activities for men, so I dropped by to see what it was all about.  They were starting classes in a wide variety of sports, Basketball, Racquetball, Weight Lifting and Judo.  I signed up for Judo, and seemed to be the youngest man in the class.  I met an older man in the locker room and we started chatting as we changed our cloths.  He was friendly and I liked him right away.  We exchanged calling cards, and I thought, I met this man for a reason, this was to much of a coincidence.  His card read, Dr.  Jonathan Hirt, M.D., a psychoanalyst specializing in Family Counseling.  I stood there staring at his card, longer than I should have.  He picked up on this at once and asked, "Is there something troubling you Kevin"?? I told him that I probably could use his help, but couldn't afford to pay, and most certainly would not put it on my insurance at work.  He asked why, and I was very frank with him.  I replied, after all I have been through and cost the insurance company, for them to think now that I was crazy!!!  He smiled and said "tell you what, we get a half hour break between lessons, why don't you and I just sit in the bleachers and chat." I thought it over all week and decided that I had to do something to find out what was wrong with me.  I asked him the next Wednesday, if we could do it in a way that nobody in the rest of the class would know, what was going on?? He didn't seem to understand, and I told him that in the movies you guys sit there with a pad and pen, and write down things.  He said that he will bring a small palm sized tape recorder that nobody would notice.  The next week we went to the top of the bleachers during break.  For more than four weeks, all we talked about was Judo, sports, his wife, my wife.  He never asked me a single question.  It was in the fifth or sixth week when we were both promoted to yellow belt, and I felt I had accomplished something, that he asked his first question.  "You mentioned to me that the insurance company would be upset with you ,why is that important to you"?? I told him how sick I had been, and almost died, and had run up thousands of dollars in medical bills that the company sent through their carrier.  That ever sense that time, I have been frightened of something and didn't know what it was that I was frightened of.  His next question was, "Do you want to talk about that"? I told him all about the sickness and how I was saved from death.  When I told him of the visit by the priest, and what he said to me.  He took out a small pad from his pocket and jotted something down and returned it to his pocket.  He asked about my father, and how I was treated as a child.  I told him my father loved me very much, and being Irish, I was given the Irish father son treatment.  He asked what that meant.  I told him Irish dads are not afraid to hug and kiss their sons.  That it was common for an Irish father to publically hug, and even kiss his son.  He asked, "Did he hug and kiss you when you did something bad.?" I replied, "No he didn't, I got the belt." "To bring shame or discredit to the family was not tolerated".  That was the reason I was able to become a State Trooper, after college.  I wasn't afraid of the cops, but was very afraid of what my father would do to me if I broke the law.  I was one of the few boys raised in the Bronx section of New York that never went to reform school, or had a criminal record.

He cut our session short, and said he had to think this over.  The next week he had his pad out again and asked me to tell him word for word what the priest that heard my confession said to me.  I remembered very well what his words were, they were, "You have just completed your penance, and God has spared your life, Take his warning seriously"!  He then asked me to try to remember when I was a little boy, and did something bad, and "Got the Belt".  "What did your father say to you?".  I couldn't remember.  He asked me if it would be at all possible to come to his office a couple of nights a week for an hour.  He would like to have his associate, Dr.  Helen Wilson talk to me.  He is a specialist in family counseling, while her specialty is repressed memory.  I asked how much this was going to cost and he replied "Nothing".  There is a fund that they all donate into, that they draw from, in certain cases. {Things were different back in the 60's weren't they?}

I started the next week with Dr.  Wilson.  It went very fast, she went over with me the last five months, before what she called "The Terror" started.  I didn't know what she meant by "The Terror".  She explained, that it is a debilitating fear, that has no reason to suddenly appear.  It prevents you from functioning as you did before it appeared, and most important you have no idea of what you are afraid of.  She explained that this HAS to be rooted in a traumatic event in my early childhood, and that the onset of "The Terror" is the result of a recent event, triggering a repressed memory of that event.  The sessions lasted a month , when she said that she thinks she has found the answer.  She also said she was sure I was not going to like the CURE.

She started, and asked me not to interrupt her till she was finished.  "Your father's method of discipline was to hit you on the legs with his folded belt when you misbehaved as a boy.  You always knew, as he was doing this that he loved you.  Your father would precede the whipping with comments like, "How many times do you have to be told?" "I warned you, you would get the belt if you ever did that again".  The visit by the parish priest was the trigger we have been looking for.  He said to you, "Take His warning seriously".  In your weakened state, a repressed memory of the beatings, by someone you knew loved you, was triggered.  She stopped and asked if I was following her train of thought.  I acknowledged that I was.  Kevin," how many times in your life have you heard the statement, "GOD LOVES YOU".  Many, I replied.  "Okay" and she went on.  "This is what I believe is your problem." "You have been living in an adulterous relationship for over four years.  You suddenly become very ill and almost die.  You know full well that this relationship is wrong.  In the earliest part of your recovery, when you were the most vulnerably and weakened, a man representing God, tells you to "Take His Warning seriously".  The trigger is pulled on a repressed memory of the beatings by your father and the confusion in a little boy's mind.  "How could he do this to me and still love me?" "Kevin, this is what I believe started the "Terror." "God gave you the Belt, exactly as your father did.  You were than warned by the priest, as your father warned you.  You went right back to the life you were leading after you recovered.  The terror is rooted in the belief that you expect to get another beating, and you don't know how to prevent it.  The Cure comes in two methods." "Neither of them are going to be very pleasant for you."

"The first involves long term therapy to dig out of your subconscious, all of the repressed and traumatic events of your childhood.  After we have faced all these daemons, and dealt with them.  You and your wife will have to start with Dr.  Hirt to locate the problems in your marriage.  This will involve your wife learning all the details of your adultery.  Following this , I will ask you, and your father and mother, to talk with me and resolve these problems also.  You will have to use your insurance to cover these sessions.  The company will know you are seeing an analyst, but not know why.  I anticipate this will take almost two years to complete." She stopped, went to the window and stared out with her back to me.  She said without turning, "Have you absorbed all that I just told you"? She was at my side sitting nose to nose with me before I could answer.  "I want you to know and realize right now Kevin, your not a bad man." "You have gotten yourself into a situation over the last four years, that you are not emotionally equipped to handle.  I remind you, that for the seven years of your marriage, before you met your mistress, you were stable, functioning well and happy.  All the guilt and fear is the direct result of your relationship with another woman out side of your marriage." She stood and went back to the window.  From the window, and without turning she said, "IT HAS TO END, AND END NOW." She returned to her desk and with her hands clasped together on the desk just stared at me waiting for me to respond.  "How can I do that, I love her so much"? I said.  She replied, "That will probably never change, but I have never found a relationship like yours, to survive that has a great distance between the man and woman"!! "What are you saying", I asked even though I knew what was coming next.  "I don't think you intend to start the sessions I mentioned because you wish to keep this whole sordid affair a secret from your wife.  Therefore you need to accept the only option you have to return to a normal life again.  " Your going to ask your company to transfer you out of here, to a city at least two hundred miles away"!  The separation will destroy your relationship with Nina over a period of time.  Once this happens, you will regain your self confidence, and the "Terrors" will just fade away, and you will be fine again.  This will take about six months to a year, as opposed to the first method, but the end result of both methods will be exactly the same".  She asked me to go home and think of what she had said.  To come back in two weeks and give her my decision.  It was two weeks of hell, yet I was still working with Nina and at times we made love, and I stayed over at her place overnight.  Nothing seemed to have changed for her, she loved me as much as before.  I too never could have loved her more, cherished her, and believed that to give her up was more than I could bare.  I was slowly coming to the conclusion, that I was NOT going to accept either of the doctors options and, as I have all my life, just "Tough It Out".  It was a chance meeting with MRS.  Willoby that brought the realization that what I was doing was more than I realized.

I was eating at the Hotel with Tom, Nina and Astra, when Mr.  and Mrs.  Willoby came in and were at a table near us.  I waved and they waved and we all ate our lunch.  After we all finished and were leaving, Mrs.  Willoby asked if she could talk with me in the lobby.  We went to the lobby and she asked me to sit in one of the couches with her.

This is to best of my recollection is what she said, and it was the determining factor in the actions I took that broke my heart, left me today with a love I can not forget.  and is the reason that every time I hear the Song and Smell the perfume, I still love her almost forty years later.  "Kevin, Charlie and I have known for years, that you and Nina are deeply in love, but have you ever thought of the damage you are doing to her? You have your wife, she has only you.  She is now twenty four and has devoted all her young life to you.  You eventually must decide if you are going to marry her, and I think that will never happen.  When you part, you are going to be responsible for the results.  If you intend to remain with your wife, and if you really love her, the time has come to get out of her life, and let her find someone that will be her husband." This was the same advice I received from Dr.  Wilson, only it made me realize that my actions were doing damage to the woman I loved as well as myself.

I called the main office the next morning and asked Mr.  Finkelstein to meet with me.  In two days Mr.  Finkelstein and I met and I requested a transfer to the New York office , he said he will get back to me in a few days.  I have been under consideration for a promotion, but he didn't want to get my hopes up and did not tell me.  I went to see Dr.  Wilson and talked with her about how I should handle the news of the transfer with Nina.  She said I should act as if I had nothing to do with it.  Since it is only April, I probably will not move my family till school is out and the house is sold.  That means I will be returning home almost every weekend till I sell the house and move the family.  In this time I will notice a slow degeneration in the relationship with Nina.  There will come a time when you realize she is not happy and will let you know in small ways.  When you recognize this, find a weak point in her and bring this up.  Try to get her angry with you.  When this happens she will break up with you.  It is important that she makes the break and not you.  She will than leave the relationship with dignity.  Only in the remote possibility that she informs you that she will move also, to be near you, will you be forced to bring your relationship to an end.  How you go about it, is a decision that only you can make, but at this point it must be done at once.

I was transferred to Newark, New Jersey two weeks later as manager of operations for New York City.  I left at once, living in a rooming house in Cranford, N.J.  I did return every weekend as Dr Wilson predicted.  Since I only had two days, I spent most of this time with my children and wife.  I did go visit Nina on most Saturday afternoons and went to the pub on Saturday nights.  We danced and drank and the love I felt for her was enhanced by the separation.  We sold the house in July and I bought a house near the new office and moved.  At first I returned to be with Nina almost every weekend.  As the demands on my time increased I started to return every other weekend.  Soon what Dr.  Wilson predicted came true, Nina was becoming distant and our relationship was deteriorating.  Don't misunderstand I loved her with all my heart and was heart broken by what I was doing.  She finally said that things were not the same and we should talk about it.  The only thing that I could think of to perpetuate the separation was that her mother drank a lot.  During one of my visits, I mentioned to her that I thought she drank to much "LIKE HER MOTHER".  A cruel and horrible thing to say to a woman you loved.  She seemed hurt, but did not get angry as I thought she would, we parted with hugs and kisses.  I did not get back for a month, and she greeted me with the same loving manner she always did.  We went out to eat, at her request, at the Hotel and when the dinner was over, and we were drinking our Brandy, she went to the ladies room.  She returned wearing the perfume, and stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders.  Kissed me on top of my head.  She Said "Kevin I can't look at you as I say this, but I think the time has come to go our separate ways.  I'll never forget you as long as I live." "Please stay here as I go home and do not call." With that she walked out of my life forever.  I felt as though a knife had gone through my heart.  I never laid eyes on her again.** I peeled off some Twenties and plopped them on the check, Gave the head Waiter a Ten, Gave the doorman a Five.  Got into my car and drove home to New Jersey, Sobbing and heart broken.  This chapter in my life was over but the years to come were filled with success, many more children to a total of seven.  Promotions and transfers, and finally retirement to my mountain cabin, living alone with the wonderful Bloodhounds that I breed and train.  Every one is gone, from my life because I chose to spend my remaining years alone, but I live on to remember her.  I hope she is happy, I am not.  She is alive and well and married as I write this today.  This is all I can report, for to this day I have never intruded in her life, And I never will.  Always hoping that some day, I will dance with her for the last time, to the song, (Click to play the song/continue reading as it loads) and smell the perfume, and hold her close to me.  I spent the next thirty six years with Mary.  Ending up living in a wonderful home in New Jersey, with all seven children, well and married.  I carried this secret in my heart all these years and I have told no one.  When I retired, I spent a year trying to come to grips with it to no avail.  Finally I left Mary and all the children and moved to this secluded cabin in the wilderness.  The damage I have done in everyone's lives can never be repaired.  I have lost all contact with them and will live out my life here and alone.

The End

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COPYRIGHT: Kevin Sean Kelly, 2001, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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Kevin Sean Kelly is a published short story author. His writings have been
published in 5 languages for distribution in Europe and Asia.
This Novel was started in 1997, when he retreated to a secluded cabin
located on top of a mountain in the center of the wilderness of Northern
Pennsylvania. He is now separated from his wife but still remains married to her.
He lives alone with his beloved bloodhounds and can be contacted by E-mail at
kskelly@epix.net

Design & Illustration by Terri Moore

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